Friday, September 03, 2010

potatoes focken

I'm having difficulty understanding my new flatmate.

Crap on a catamaran people, this is hard work.

He moved in a week or so ago, and hails from Northern Ireland.

Or 'Norn Iron' as he says. I think. Maybe a 'Norn' is a biscuit.

I've quickly established that a Northern Irish person doesn't sound like a person from say, Dublin.

He is completely and utterly indeterminable. The Swedes sound more coherent than he does, as far as I'm concerned. Now this wouldn't be an issue if I met him once-off. And never see him again.

If I only had to do one smile-and-wave, then fine. But fuck no.

I live with the guy. Which means, for the next however long we're in the same house together, I have to smile and wave. As in, when we're watching TV together. Queuing for the bathroom together. Microwaving meals together.
Generally living in the same space where conversation is taking place all the time.

It's complete gobbledeegook. I don't know what the fock e's tahken about, how's yer girl for a blowjob?.

This sounds pretty similar.

So conversation has been pretty stilted in our household. The focken crazy thing is that he understands exactly what I'm saying.

Irish: focken hell boo ta potatoes.

Peas: Ja...totally.

Irish: potatoes focken fock?

Peas: Ja....absolutely. [smiles and nods]

Irish: Naw lass I se focken ell twat?

Peas: Oh yes....twat.

Irish: Focken shit potatoes.

But if I went off on a Saffa tangent like, "Okes let's have a braai bru, I wanna chow some graze."

He gets that. So where am I failing?


cassey said...

Maybe you guys should just pass each other notes? :p I'm sure that it'll start to make sense at some point soonish.

po said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
po said...

Heehee I know the Northern Irish accent well. You just have to detune your ear in terms of what you expect Irish to sound like and you will find yourself tuning in :)

Peas on Toast said...

cassey - good plan. I'm thinking of installing a whiteboard in the kitchen. Seriously.

po - that's what the Brit said. But hell I have to concentrate even to get every 5th word is proving a challenge!

Kimmeh said...

Bwaahaahaa that's one of the funniest posts I've seen! :D