are you a freak

Found the most fantastic TV show. Are You A Freak Like Me? is exactly as it sounds. It documents some of the most fucked up individuals across Britain.

It makes thee best winter-my-ovaries-are-snapping-off entertainment, I tell you what.

And if you have a British IP address, you can watch it. Right now.
If you don't have a British IP, then, well, I'm sure there's something awesome to download on iTunes or...maybe you should be sitting on a beach outside and not watching TV. Er...go and play outside.

For us mere northern hemisphere-bound mortals, there's a show dedicated to freaks, or rather certain people, with rather interesting foibles.

Some may call them 'quirks;' others may call them psychological disorders. However you choose to view it, one cannot deny the sheer trip this programme takes you on.

The host is this scrawny little self-professed comedian who is obsessive compulsive. Which led him to create a reality show to highlight that everyone has their 'way of doing certain things.'

It's normal to be a freak in this country. And he thinks we should all celebrate our weird 'habits.'

The episodes I've seen are such. And fuck me if these people are living, breathing and completely off their 'eads:

1) A man who eats in the bath. In that he cooks a meal and has to eat it while he is bathing.
In all fairness, it's not a bad idea. I love bathing, and I love eating. He's merely suggesting that no one has really thought of merging the two. I've got to say: I'm probably going to bloody try it.

2) A 21-year old Essex woman who still sucks on a dummy.
She treats it like I would say, cigarettes. She nips behind the garden shed to 'have a little suck.' She customises her dummy with stick on gems and says she'll suck on a dummy for the rest of her life.

3) A girl who has to dress up every single day. She has dress up outfits hung all about her flat. For example, one day she'll wear a hamburger outfit to wash the dishes in; the next she'll dress up like the Easter bunny. She doesn't feel normal or happy unless she's in dress up.

4) A girl who introduces herself as such: "Like every girl, I have a beauty regime. I wash my face, put on moisturiser, my make-up and then....I chew my toenails."
She is video'd frigging noshing on her toes, from the big toe to the pinky toe.
The Brit and I were mock charging.

5) A guy who eats out of bins. Because he likes the 'challenge of finding food.'
He's a well-to-do dude, and rummages in bins. He says he can't help it.

6) A dude who is collecting his farts to use to launch a homemade rocket.
..............

You get the idea.

It gets one thinking though. Do I have any weird habits? Or is what I think is normal not-normal?

All I can think of is two.

I can't touch egg boxes.
It's a texture thing. It does to me what someone scraping their nails down a chalk board does to you.
Egg boxes and those MacDonald takeaway cup holder thingies in that awful cardboard gives me instant heebie jeebies even just thinking about it.

I've dropped egg boxes while trying to perform womanly domestic duties of past.
Now I have to select a box with a plastic bag around it, or an extra large sticker, or get someone to put it into my basket.

I sleep face down into the mattress, no pillows
What is a normal way to sleep? I'm most comfortable with my feet outside the duvet, spread open, face down into the mattress, no pillows. After years of mastering this [fabulous] technique, I even know how to breathe with my face down.

I have a friend who is phobic about fruit. As in, she cannot be in room where there is fruit or she will freak out. The Brit can't touch cotton wool.

Anyone else out there got some fundamental weirdness they [might like] to share?

If not, back to my course homework.