scheissenfucker

Peas: We are running out of clothes.

Brit: I have another pair of jocks.

Peas: We are gonna have to buy some more clothes.

Brit: It's just before Christmas, we can't just go out and buy new wardrobes.

Peas: I have an idea.

Brit: Turn our socks inside out?

Peas: Done that already.

Brit: You are a minger.

Peas: You're being an asshole.

Brit: Right, so what's your idea?

Peas: We are going to have to buy a tourist t-shirt.

Brit: You have so many already.

Peas: Well, what do you think of an 'I Love Austria' t-shirt, pair of pants, a hat and jocks?

[pause]

You know, all emblazoned with the same 'Ich Liebe Osterrich!' shit.

Brit: It would be funny if we arrived back in London looking like a fucking German poster boy.

Peas: It's more that it's just cheap.

Brit: And nasty.

Peas: Well then what about lederhosen? There's a fuckload of that around here. And they'll probably throw in a free schnitzel.

Brit: Oh yes please. They won't let me back into Britain like that.

Peas: If we wanted to really bring the house down we could look for a giant schnitzel suit.

Brit: That's not that funny.

Peas: Fine. A bratwurst, whatever.

Brit: I love you.

Peas: I farking love you too.

Brit: This is shit, but actually it's rather nice to having a real adventure.

Peas: Or as they say in Austria, adWENture.


However. If I see another schnitzel, I'll scream.

Still here, haven't moved from my last post, as you might've gathered. Still can't get away from the fucking schnitzels and wursts.

Please send salads. And a private jet.

Heathrow open the fuck UP already. I'm starting to forget about the holiday part of this trip.