once upon a book

I haven't told many people about my book in the UK.

I bought ten copies over with me and loved the fact that I could disseminate the news of my novel in whichever way I chose.

Telling people about my novel would mean people knowing about my blog. The great thing about being anonymous in one of the world's most exciting cities is that I have more freedom to write what I want again.

It's a wonderful feeling - blog freedom.

Or, like yesterday, I don't care if random Aussies stumble on my blog bile. If the kangaroo retaliates, I'll paint a large penis on her bedroom door.

So I am very careful as to who I tell about my book's success back home.
I like that I am anonymous here. I like that everyone takes me at face value.

But. I do love dropping a bomb when the moment or company is appropriate.

My colleagues have found out in dribs and drabs that I published a book as a result of my blog.

Most are one of these things:
1) Surprised
2) Don't believe me
3) Think it's an unfinished manuscript that is sitting under my bed

It's become quite a fun little thing to just throw out at dinner parties. Or like at lunch yesterday.

Colleague: That's so funny, our department may be made up of 'ex-writers' and yet no one has published a book before they were 26 or anything.

Peas: [I take a bite of a carrot sticking off the end of my fork - purely for effect] Munch munch...mmm...I have.

Colleague: Ha ha! Peas! Good one!

Peas: No really I have.

Colleague: Oh yeah? What's it called then?

Peas: [Munch munch] Well actually, you are right. I got the book deal when I was 25, but it only published once I'd finished the manuscript, and that was when I was 28.

Colleague: Classic.

Peas: Is this your iPhone?

Colleague: Yes.

Peas: Would you like to see my book?

Colleague: Ha ha cool. It'll probably take me to your blog or something right?

Peas: Right. Now scroll down. There it is. It won a local award in 2009 as well. Imagine that?

[silence]

.............

Peas: Today's carrots are amazing don't you think? Really rounded off this roast lunch perfectly.

That's maybe the second time I've done that. Otherwise I don't talk about it at all. I keep it as low key as possible.

When I get to know people or trust them, or if the subject ever came up about books, then I may mention it. I worked fucking hard to achieve this, but it isn't something I talk openly about.

Where I find the satisfaction is in the above circumstances.
When my purple tights, humble African education, or Guinea Pig-owning status make those around me not take me seriously.

I might look and act like a clown. And you might have Oxford or Cambridge pHDs in classical literature, and be a genius, and know David Cameron personally.

But I can say I published a book once. If I feel like telling you, that is.