Friday, October 14, 2011


By some miracle bestowed on me by [xxxxx<---(Universe?) please feel free to add your name here], I have lost weight this week.

I thought the smorgasbord of Mexican food, basin of dumplings and pizza slices I Hoovered like a motherfucker in the States was still finding its way to my thighs this week, and yet, Hark!

All hail ye, I am a mere two kilos from my goal. How is this even possible? Do I have a tapeworm?

Maybe it's because more calories are used trying to stay awake when you're jetlagged than going for a fucking jog.

I fear I might not escape Death By Diet in Eastern Europe though. I might not be so lucky.

Dude. I checked the weather last night in Prague, Krakow and Budapest.

It's fucking Baltic.

London hasn't hit the single digits yet, and yet these places are practically Icelandic.

So here's the vibe.

4 countries, 1 Skoda, 5 layers of clothes, 4 different currencies, my mother, 1 iPod, 0 language recognition, 1 GPS navigational device, 10 days, 1 visa, 1 jangly nerves, Czech, Poland, Slovakia and Hungary. BOOM.

I'll be driving on the wrong side of the road.
For six hour legs at a time.
Between three cities.
Along roads that are apparently "in some places, appalling condition."
In a Skoda. A Czech car that, in the past, has a notoriously bad reputation.
With my mother.
While listening to euro trash techno.
Wearing five layers of clothing.
Eating slop.
Avoiding Communists.

I'm terrified. So will think of someone I know who drove a tuk-tuk around Sri Lanka, and people who motorbike across Vietnam and are still alive.

Trying to man the fuck up. And seize the adventure. I created for myself. And now must face.

To be honest, I feel like that dude from Idiot Abroad, Karl Pilkington. Just anti everything. And having to visit exotically weird places.

If you never hear from me again, it's been great. If you hear from me in 10 days, then you'll see that I am actually alive. For now though:

Bye.

xx

9 comments:

Val said...

My sympathies to your Mom!
Seriously hope all goes well and am dying to hear all about it.
Go well Peas - enjoy!!!

lynetter said...

Perhaps the insane bikeride over the Golden Gate did it?

And seriously have a great time. I went to Krakow with my Mum when she visited. We did a tour in a Trabant and they took us to go see - I kid you not - an apartment kitted out in an old Soviet era block furnished exactly as it would have been. The guy said it was like his Grannie's. It was fascinating in an odd way. There are some other things we saw that were vitally important to see but incredibly depressing too, but I'm sure you'll come across them for yourself.

Charne Tromp said...

Sounds super exciting & scary. If you do run into any communists though, blast some Kwaito from your little Skoda and that'll set them straight ;-) This should do the trick: http://youtu.be/FlEkRSq0-Qg Enjoy!

Flarkit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Flarkit said...

You gals just go and have yourselves an utter blast (no, not the literal kind, now). It'll be F-U-N, cos, you are simply unable to have anything less. Mmkay? 'Kay.

Tiny Goes Retail said...

Hey PEAS , Lekka site! First time here, Tiny

The Python said...

You are immensely brave.

Good luck. Do you have snow tyres, or just the normal 'marie biscuit' tyres that Skodas come with?

Tiny Goes Retail said...

all the best on your journey i hope it all goes well im sure it will anyways go for it cant wait to hear your stories wen u get back,peace!!!!

Spear The Mighty said...

I just look at a Magnum add on the TV and immediately I will gain 2 kilo's It is freaken sad.