Dude. I am hanging like a motherfucker.
Champagne. All night long.
We had to sit with an older couple (read: in their 60s) from south Croydon called Denver and Shirley, (that's right, his name is a state capital. Which raises an interesting question - could I call my future child Helsinki? Because I've been thinking about it) on our bed.
So ended up just poshing it the fuck up, drinking drinks with bubbles in it and snacking on chocolate mousse. One of the nicest dates the Brit has taken me on. There we were, chilling in our socks, in a night club, with a couple from Croydon.
Our new bezzy mates, Shirl and Denver - are planning a trip to south Africa, and so we managed to fill most of the night talking about malaria tablets and why Mandela is such a hero.
Obviously. That's pretty much what foreign strangers want to talk to Saffas about. Mandela and/or apartheid, guns and lethal diseases.
We didn't swap numbers after the meal.
Mate. I had a smile on my face. You'll have to take my word for it.
After you polish off each course, you watch circque-du-soleil-type entertainment.
This bird, took her top off to reveal a set of tassles covering her nipples. A bit of burlesque.
This one was swigging from a bottle of vodka, while breaking into
Yeah. It was bizarre as fuck.
The night before last, I went out with my mate from Manchester and we ended up in some heavy metal sanctuary for the undead, in Soho.
It was a bar serving whisky and beer, by barmen clad in leather and studs. To the background accompaniment of heavy metal regurgitation.
It was great. There we were, me in tweed and she in a floral frock.
Catching up over lyrics that talk about Satan's crotch, death, coffins and darkness.
Then we got headaches and went to bed.
But to conclude? There's something for everybody in London. But I've figured out that most of the time, you happen to just stumble upon these gems without meaning to find them.
Fucking good laugh, innit though.
PS: My mum found this amazing vintage woollen thing for me at a charity store when she was here.
It's very Made in Chelsea wouldn't you say? It's a coat, FYI.