Tuesday, January 10, 2012

ooo

My out of office. The whole "I'm away, don;t email me, email my colleague" thing is really old and stupid. People think you're lying on a beach sipping diaquiris. When in fact you're being cut open.

With so much work going on, and deadlines, and other shit, me being erstwhile is not helluva convenient. And so I need them to know that I'm not in fucking Aruba, I'm on the operating table.

So. Ahem. Which?

Hi. I am unable to respond to your email right now, as I am literally unconscious. Should you require any assistance between now and Thursday, please email our press alias.

A bit honest?

Hi. I am totally offline. Medical procedure. Should you require any assistance between now and Thursday, please email our press alias

Not enough explanation. Will still think I'm not in a hospital.

OOO: Sick leave. I am undergoing something.Should you require any assistance between now and Thursday, please email our press alias.

Then they'll think it's a cold.

OK OK. Hi. I am in the hands of the medical community today, and won't be online. I'll respond to your mail on Thursday. Should you require any assistance between now and Thursday, please email our press alias.

That's fine right.

Adios. I'm scared. The Brit has landed. He's back from Sveeden. Thank fuck for small mercies.

4 comments:

Me, Jade said...

'In the hands of the medical community' kind of sounds like the little men in white coats came for you because you went off the pills and tried to use the snackwich machine to iron your hair again.

Anonymous said...

Good luck girl, hope you back soon.
Len

Anonymous said...

Good luck girl, hope you back soon.
Len

Peas on Toast said...

Hilarious Jade! Thank you :)

Len - thanks very much x