norway

I'm going to Oslo today.

I've packed my fake-but-looks real fur coat and I've been told I need to bring the gold card.

The most expensive place I've visited in Europe thus far is Zurich. Where you squint at the bill and wonder whether the waiter is, in fact, on large doses of crack.

When you're on the pound sterling, and you're hemorrhaging Swiss francs like a hemophiliac, you have to wonder how the fuck people manage to holiday there for long periods of time.

The answer is they don't. People who go to Zurich claim on work expenses, trust me.

Other expensive cities are Copenhagen and Stockholm. But apparently I need to vest some of my stock options to visit Oslo.

Going to need to cash in some equity to buy a drink.

But then, it is my last Euro trip for a while. And I am going to Scandinavia. Full of socialists, but suspiciously clean.

Bring on the weird language and blonde haired people. Norway, here I come. Be nice.