Tuesday, August 14, 2012
a boy called pyoont
I often wonder how new parents with very different tastes in names manage to compromise.
In all seriousness, how do you try and wrestle with someone who finds "Beulah" or "Dicken" to be strong, sensible names?
I know someone here who knew a guy called Stacey. Stacey from Croydon. Growing up among South London's gangstas. Can you picture it for a second?
He apparently was a strapping, rotund knob of a guy, who beat up everyone else in the playground. And I have no doubt it's because his name was Stacey. And he grew up in the Croydon massive and had to prove to everyone around him that he wasn't actually a girl.
I just think one man's "flamboyant," is another man's "sensible" when it comes to names, and one cannot be too careful.
I'm pretty sure, like everything in life, with some careful strategy, spanning over months and years, you can ensure that you get the name you want. I'll tell you how.
Peas: What do you think of the name Pyoont?
Brit: Beg pardon?
Peas: I said what do you think of the name Pyoont?
Brit: Are you sure you're saying that correctly?
Peas: Yes, "Pyoont." I saw it somewhere today. Don't you think it's a nice, strong name for a boy?
Brit: No. I think it's fucking diabolical.
Peas: It's Spanish.
Brit: "Pyoont?" I'm pretty sure you're saying that wrong, it sounds awful.
Peas: I think it's a strong, direct name. With Mediterranean influences.
Brit: How do you spell that? There's no bloody way that's Spanish.
Peas: You spell it "puente." You know, "pyoont.'
Brit: No no. That's "Pwentay," not Pyoont.
Peas: Oh right. OK it's not that great anymore. I preferred "Pyoont."
Brit: Babe. You're joking right.
Peas: No. Genuinely thought the word "Pyoont" was wonderful.
Peas: What do you think of the name "Bob?"
Brit: Not this again.
Peas: Bob is pretty straight down the line. Can't really go wrong with Bob.
Brit: Bob is a bit done wouldn't say? A bit old fashioned...or maybe not. [Hang on. You might even consider Bob? This is troubling. Really troubling.]
Peas: Pyoont Bob O'Toast?
Brit. No. No more Pyoont. Do not mention the term 'Pyoont' ever again.
See? Once every few months, and when the day comes to suggest the name you really want, chances are you'll get it.