Tuesday, February 05, 2013

one year today

Cheese porn. Can't touch. Can stare.

Thoughts for my aunt, who passed away exactly a year ago from cancer.

The disease that frightens me more than any other in this world.

It wasn't snowing this morning like it was last year, but it's been a year. And I still miss having her around. Someone to chat to that's known me since I was a baby. In the UK. Who knows my family. Who understands. I miss having her around to talk to, and I still think about her every day.

In my logical mind she is no longer aware of what's happening in this world. I'm a Catholic-born atheist-convert, so I don't believe in life after death. Mostly.

I just like to think of things in scientific terms. We are part of this universe, and everything on the planet is made up of strings of carbon compounds. Humans are no different - when we die, we die.

I say I'm mostly a non-believer, because there is always 1% doubt. That there may be a place where she sits looking down on everything, knowing what's going on. You can't rule it out completely.

Anyway, I sense a religious-versus-science argument coming on, which is not the intention. The intention here is thoughts for my aunt.

I do miss her and whatever or wherever she may be, I sure hope it's peaceful and full of awesome food. Like tons of toasted cheese sarmies and roast pork gammon. (She'd be allowed to eat these now, as many as she wants. Bath tubs full of toasties and pork legs.)

In domestic news, we've reached season 5 of Lost.

I am extremely frustrated. It's true what most people say: the first few series are fantastic and gobsmackingly addictive. The rest are pants.

Actually, they're not complete pants, they're just seriously over-the-top and start to become too much, so piece by piece, you start to slightly lose interest.

I mean, the whole fucking island disappeared.

Anyway, that said, we're still glued to the telly, while chomping on organic produce, mostly still loving the Lost vibe.

Hopefully it'll last until end of this month, when the sun is rising at a reasonable hour and setting way after lunchtime. It's starting to slowly, but surely get lighter.

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