Wednesday, June 04, 2014


I don't know what women back in the caveman era did when they were breastfeeding.
But if I don't have something to read or watch, I'm fucked. I'll fall asleep or die of boredom.

Not that our generation needs any more excuses to stare at screens, but I am spending a lot of time on my phone.

With my phone I can blog. I'm blogging and feeding right now. I can shop. I can read shit. I can talk to people. Take endless pictures of his adorable little face.
Being cooped up a lot, my world has become my phone. It may be sad, but it's reality. It keeps me in touch with the normal outer world.

So, may I present the many screens of the breastfeeding mother:
The obligatory shit but mostly sensational news story by the Daily Mail.
The White Noise app. On all the time in the nursery to help him go to sleep. Mimics the womb they say. Why oh why won't he just sleep?!?
The obligatory Buzzfeed pop quiz. At 2am. This one was 'Could you pass finals biology still?'
Turns out I could. Me and the Krebs Cycle are tight.

The baby app. A piece of trivia and/or advice for each day your baby grows older.

The antenatal WhatsApp group chat. In this case asking the ladies what they think of dummies  in the middle of the night. Topics range from dummies to the more enlightening spectrum of poo colours to routines and feeding schedules. My new mummy mates.
The WhatsApp with your best mate. In this case describing what sleep deprivation does to your brain.

The online photo albums. I go through the one entitled 'Labour' all the time to look at Sebby as a totally fresh little newborn. I have taken so many pictures of him it's actually a bit disturbing.
The artisanal, crafty shopping site where I can look at alllll sorts of crap I don't need for Seb's nursery.
Or peruse the jewellery and/or other amazing stuff on Etsy.

Similarly, eBay. Fuck fuck fuck. I've always loved eBay (even if some massive hacker has broken open the site recently) but now I'm completely unhinged about it.
I've discovered French baby clothes. Nice ones. And I'm obsessed. I may never buy anything for myaelf again, but Seb is going to be one TRES JOLI dressed baby.
I'm going mental for Petit Bateau, which cost an arm/leg/kidney on the high street, but a fraction of the price if you can find it, on eBay.

Gosh all this gambling is fun.

Last, but not least, the baby monitor screen. LOOk at his little big nostrils!

Yes. My world is pretty small at the moment.

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