Sometimes the pain is still so fresh.
I can't escape it. I try by pacing the house, or distracting myself by buying too many baby clothes, ending up buying jewellery with twins symbols. Or just staring at pictures of twins.
The pain sometimes follows me. Forcing me to think about it.
What would my little girl look like now? Would she look like Sebastian? Would she have his same cheeky grin and big, soft brown eyes?
I still cannot believe my twins and my baby girl aren't here sometimes. Its still unbelievable.