Chaps, I’m going to Berlin.
After days of scouring maps, looking at sites and thinking about places I want to go for 9 days in April that doesn’t entail 5 connection flights and jetlag – I finally got smacked on the head with some German logic, zeit.
I’ve always wanted to see Berlin. I mean, Hello? Guten Tag?
Don’t know why I didn’t just wake up from day one, head to a public place filled with Women & Home poster ladies and say, ”Dude! Peas, you little minx! Berlin!” out loud while idly buying household comestibles.
And so, the Schengen visa bureaucracy starts. And crawling Expedia for cheap flights, possibly via Yemen.
But whatever. I’m going to do the same thing I did in Rio – stay in a dorm with a whole lot of travelling wilberries, eat eisbein, hang out with neo-nazis, listen to oompah music while I drink great big frothing tankards of beer, stand on the line where the Wall was…take my German rap career to new levels.
Was joking about the neo-nazis. I hope.
Anyway, that’s only April. In the meantime pressing weekend plans ensue.
I’ve whitened my teeth. (Home kit with gumguard. Overrated)
Put a hair mask on my locks. (Smells like silk. If, indeed, silk has a smell)
Seeing The Dove tonight for an after-work drinkie-poo.
Wedding on a Cape wine farm. (Dress crisis. Not sure the pink frock brings out my elbows quite how I want it to.)
Oh and, I’m thinking of getting a rabbit, which I’ll either call Gary or Dennis or Myles.
(Which sounds better: ‘This is my bunny rabbit Gary.’ Or ‘This is my bunny rabbit and his name is Myles.’ Or ‘Meet my rabbit, Dennis.’) Trevor was a consideration, but I bumped out it out of the top three.
Haven’t had a pet in a while. Saw a rabbit in Moogs’ garden at the Vaal and it was so fucking cute, it got the ball rolling. Seriously – I’ve had a rat, a guinea pig, hamsters, but I’ve never had a rabbit. So in all fairness, I’m not completely rodented-out.
But, it’s going to have to be a decision I don’t take lightly.
I travel a lot. And I’d have to take him to work. (Have already chatted to my boss about this though, so it’s not out of the question.) I’d have to get it a supersized, blinging, fuck off hutch.
And have an infinite supply of carrots on the ready in the fridge.
The travelling is the big issue. And 3RM isn’t in town anymore to babysit. [Kidding little buddy] But a fluffy guy that hops around and chills with me while I watch Denise Richards: It’s Complicated, while munching on salad and stuff? Shitters, I’m tempted.
(Leaning towards Gary. No one has a bunny called Gary, come on. Or Dennis.)
