Showing posts with label tell the difference with these easy steps. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tell the difference with these easy steps. Show all posts

Thursday, January 17, 2008

husbank or husburden?

Husbank: Has a CA.
Husburden: Has a BA.

Husbank: Will marry a trophy wife, beset with big tits and a fertile uterus to create millions of little heirs.
Husburden: Is the endless bachelor, fancies himself a bit of a Hef, probably dates five women at once, only married you because he was drunk and you were both in Vegas.

Husbank: Hangs out in the Upper Class Lounge at airports, the Saxon, the Westcliff Polo Lounge, the office.
Husburden: Hangs out at places where he can smoke a bifta without being arrested. Husburden: ridiculously good looking. Women crawl all over him like a bad rash.
Husbank: ridiculously rich. Women crawl all over him like a bad rash after they see his platinum card.

Husbank: Will turn his [trophy] spouse into a human incubating baby-making machine.
Husburden: Kids? Excuse me while my balls retract back into my urethra.

Husbank: Entitles the wife to a monthly salary that allows her to shop at Jimmy Choo, get a regular facelift, botox, a personal trainer.
Husburden: You're the breadwinner, so you'll entitle him to a salary that funds his pot habit.

Husbank: Wears suits all day long, and when trying to seduce you, will be naked barring his socks.
Husburden: Knows an awful lot of tai-chi. And administers a pounding in the sack so tactile, you can't walk for days. Husbank: Breadwinner.
Husburden: Breadloser. (No really. He leaves the bread on the bus, along with the rest of the groceries.)

Husbank: Old money.
Husburden: New money.

Husbank: Holidays in Baja. On his own yacht.
Husburden: Hitch hikes through the Transkei. When he's 63.

Husbank: Catches you fucking the pool boy and takes you to the cleaners. Thereafter changes the plates on his 5-series BMW to 'ALIMONY GP'.
Husburden: So you fucked the pool boy. Whatever.