I had a swift tingling of something yesterday. It wasn't my groin area.
I gave some thought into, or perhaps even imagining, myself putting on some heels, shaving my legs and pulling on a miniskirt. And then going somewhere nobody else can find me, indulge in a cocktail and charf a whole lot of men in a bar.
In other words, I felt a tiny beam of normality yesterday. I felt like me. (“Hi Peas. It's Peas. I'd like to come back.”) I'm going to do this on Friday with two mates. I don't want to pick anyone up, that's way too predictable and boring, I just want to meet new people. People with penises. I want to be friends with more of them, and that's a good start isn't it?
I sang in the car yesterday for the first time in a while. Broke out in song, with drums and everything. I haven't done that in ages, mainly because every second is spent watching from my rearview mirrors. Wow. But I have since come up with a short-term solution to driving and not feeling threatened and all that: voodoo.
Voodoo chinas.
Collected a few feathers, a small jar of red dye (blood from a sacred goat), an embalmed claw (the claw), and banged it all together with twine. A fake, but hopefully realistic voodoo concoction, right there, a-swinging where they can all see – and fear – it.
Fuzzy dice go; in comes the black magic.
And, since my dashboard is so large – can have a dinner party on this baby – I'm placing a very real looking rubber cobra (with fangs and ev'thing), on it.
Beware the criminal who comes too close, my car reeks of superstition. Which means I can maybe slightly relax, not get speeding and jumping-robot fines, and sing a little more. Life's too short not to fucking sing. Seriously.
Was discussing sex toys with someone t'other day, yesterday maybe, and imagined maybe walking into Adult World and thinking, “maybe I'll buy a strap on.”
Interesting thought. A dildo with straps. Imagine the damage you could do with that?
Like knock vases off the table, or whatever.
No seriously.
(Um, can someone explain how I suddenly have 16 970-something hits today?? WTF is going on?? This is scary!)
