Tuesday, January 18, 2005

shiza

Just as I'm stated to calm down about the whole end of the world thing, I get an e-mail stating: "NASA predicts giant asteroid to destroy Earth in 2019." I'd only be 39. My dreams of retirement in a vineyard somewhere in Provence is officially aborted, since the French countryside will be obliterated. These are the stats:
The asteroid is called 2002 NT7.
It will hit Earth on Feb 1, 2019.
Is 1.24 miles wide.
Will instantly dissolve an entire continent on impact.
The dinosaurs were knocked out by one measuring 9.34 miles wide.

Shit. I have some serious stuff to do before then:
1)Write a best seller
2)Go to Tokyo
3) Go to Mardi Gras, N'Orleans
4) Eat haggis
5) Do my photography course
6) Make a decent tom yum soup
7) throw a foam party.

Better get cracking then.


10 comments:

GentleBen said...

...please, I know you're not serious. But some little-minded people reading this are at risk from believing such emails.
Whereas I know that it won't happen because a web-test told me I wouldn't die until 2058. Fact.

Peas on Toast said...

GentleBen, I can only hope that some evil person sitting in the deepest bowels of Nasa wrote all that asteroid crap because he was really bored one day. That's really nice that you know when you're going to die. I mean, you seem pretty sure about this. So no hurry to do interesting stuff then. Cool bananas.

lauren said...

dood, no reason to start with the easy stuff anyway - foam party? yeah! so eighties, sooo got an outfit for the occasion. plus, those filthy carpets of yours could do with some inadvertent cleaning. go on, i know you wanna...

lauren said...

dood, no reason to start with the easy stuff anyway - foam party? yeah! so eighties, sooo got an outfit for the occasion. plus, those filthy carpets of yours could do with some inadvertent cleaning. go on, i know you wanna...

Peas on Toast said...

yes those lovely filty carpets of mine. So you know, they look like people have inconsistently urinated on areas of my lounge and spare bedroom. Just so that people know that I'm not an unhygienic troll, these carpets are UNCLEANABLE. And downright groggy. I bet there's parquet under them too, which makes them even dirtier to look at...yeuch..

Randy said...

Add this to your list - hopefully you'll put it on the top of the list - Get ready for heaven by giving your heart to Jesus.

Peas on Toast said...

Randy - Mate somebody got to me before you did. My colleague who told me that if I didn't do this I wouldn't go to heaven. She said that all I needed to do was say a prayer. That seems awfully shallow to me. So I've told myself to become more spiritual this year and cultivate a relationship with God. So that's what I'm trying to do. Please read my post entitled "Shiza." I'd like to hear your comments.

Peas on Toast said...

Sorry I meant my post entitled "Help!"

Ed Abbey said...

Well be thankful that we have 14 years to prepare and not one week. Gives me more time to figure out which continent I have to be on to avoid obliteration. Antartica?

Peas on Toast said...

Come chill in SA with me Ed. Nostradamus said that the safest place to be during the End of Days is the city of gold. Which is Johannesburg. I'll organise an underground party. You're totally invited.