Wednesday, January 19, 2005

the thing follows me everywhere

You know when you'll go out of your way not to see somebody, yet they always end up in your space somehow? We're back on Laura folks, and I am slightly frazzled as I write this - no, I am completely pissed off. Martin organised to go and see "Closer" last night - the film about fucked-up relationships, with Natalie Portman and Jude Law....anyway, of course the little shit is going to be there. Am I just flypaper for freaks or what? As a result of my irritation, because, as usual she was whining about something, I put way to much salt on my popcorn and ended up getting up all night to get water because I was SEVERLY dehydrated. Totally all her fault. I've put my finger on what really irritates me about her. Her voice. And Steve agrees with me here. Iyt's this high-pitched resonating pitch that seems to cut through every conversation, every nerve in my brain. I'm finding it hard to look at her as well. I think I may need therapy.

But on a good note - the movie was interesting?

10 comments:

lauren said...

flypaper for freaks, or like attracts like? ;)
seriously, it has turned the world the right way around for me again to know that she's not this big pal of yours - i took an instant less-than-liking to her the first time i met her. relief! what does martin see in her?

Peas on Toast said...

Like attracts like?! Damnation! Dude do you WANT a slap??! I have no idea what Martin sees in her, we've even asked him and listened intently to his answer of, "I dunno. I get sex every now and then I guess."

It would be better if I didn't see her like twice a week. More tolerable. Hey, are you keen for the Colony on Saturday for a stint of refreshing and stress-free karaoke? I know you wanna!

zuzula said...

Years ago I used to know a really lovely guy called JP. unfortunately his other half was utterly vile. Not only did she always look a complete mess (sorry to be catty but boy, did she need an upper lip wax! and a quick eyebrow shape. and so on) but she was horrid. Moody, rude, once knocked another of our friends out in the middle of a pub for no apparent reason, bitchy, two faced... the kind of person people emigrate to avoid.

Yet I hear they're still together. She must be bloody good in bed.

Peas on Toast said...

Amen. Bute even then, it's pretty hard to imagine people like this pulling fantastically wonderful moves on their men in the sack. The thought of it, at least, makes me want to lose my lunch. All I want to say is: "Look, fuck off. Let's just stop pretending anymore. You leave me alone, and I'll leave you alone."

Being polite for the sake of the rest of the group is a real drag.

zuzula said...

It's that couples cosy foursome thing though, isn't it? You have a boyfriend, you boyfriend has friends, their friends have girlfriends. Why does it always work out that, while your boyfriend is nice and his friends are nice too, their other halves are brides of satan?

One of the (many) things i was incredibly relieved to escape from when I split up with my ex was his friends' dreadful girlfriends. I've seen one since and I'm ashamed to say i blanked her. After two years of putting up with her I felt I'd done my bit! You could try that - or just make sure there's a big enough group of you around that you don't actually have to spend any time with her.

Peas on Toast said...

It's funny how that works. And as I increasingly get older, I'm finding it harder and harder to make small talk with these flaky girlfriends. Especially when you have zero in common with most of them. See, the problem with Laura in particluar is that she hates being ignored. Whether we're in a group of 100, or just four of us. So I reap extra glee when I do ignore her because I know it drives her crazy. But then I get extra admin for it. Plus she hates me. And if she'd just ACT like she hated me, that would be fine. But she puts on this super-irritating fake smile whenever she greets me and pretends that I'm her best buddy. Who is she trying to kid?

zuzula said...

oh god - in that case have a screaming row with her and tell her to get the hell out of your house ;)

One memorable girlfriend I had to tolerate had the IQ of a potted plant. She thought Martini Asti was a car....

Peas on Toast said...

That's halarious. You get four types of girlfriends:
1)the dumber than a stapler type (in this case, your Martini Asti experience)
2)The I Have Nothing In Common With person that you talk small talk with forever
3)A Laura (all three plus whiny)
4)On the rare occasion, one that turns out to be a great mate, but then it never lasts with the boyfreind, so its always a little awkward afterwards.

Drawing me to the conclusion that: Sometimes you and the boyf need to emigrate to the opposite end of the Earth and make new friends. Drastic, yes. I've thought of London, but then Laura goes there alot. We're going to San Francisco, but just because we feel we need to do these things before we get too old and grey. Very convenient, isn't it?

zuzula said...

what does this laura look like? If I see her in Oxford St I'll push her under a bus for you :)

Peas on Toast said...

Ta. Short, black hair and one HELL of a whiny voice. You'll hear her in Hounslow, so you'll be prepared.