Monday, February 14, 2005

all things red...and green

Valentine’s Day just makes miserable people more miserable. It’s really a cruel, cruel thing to put people through. Had Steve and I broken up for good last week, I would have had to take a Mental Sick Day today, because I would’ve been inconsolable. When I have received something for 5 years and suddenly I didn’t, I would’ve been absolutely gutted. Albeit, happy Val Day. Hope it isn’t a Foul Day.

Nevertheless, to celebrate how wonderful it is being a woman, I went out with all the girls on Friday until the early hours of the morning. It was fantastic. Read about it on my other blog, Mash & Gravy at: laurianclem@blogspot.com.

Yesterday we went to Hartebeespoort Dam for Chris’ Birthday at the Lake. That dam is dodgy, and yet people buy up property there like hotcakes. Firstly, Pelindaba, the nuclear power station known for its dubious activities and nukes, exists on the shores of this place. Who says that nuclear waste isn’t dumped in there? If I don’t grow an extra thumb/head/leg, I will be surprised.

The lake is GREEN. I jumped off the boat to put my water-skis on, and I couldn’t see my hands, legs or entire body and suddenly started to have this irrational panic. I started floundering and beating the water into a frenzy, with my skis going everywhere, my lifejacket engulfing my algae-infested head with the thought of: “What if I’m eaten by a giant fish right now?!”
I really though that this may happen.

All the while, Leigh a friend of Steve’s who has been in love with my boyfriend since the year dot and happily admits this, stretched out on the boat in a new bikini, huge boobs and wind in her hair, while I looked like a green, weed-drenched thing, fighting for its life in the dam that I’m certain was pulling me down. The smirk on her face whilst looking at me erm…drowning was almost too much to bear. Plus she just loves pushing her boobs into Steve’s peripheral vision as much as she can. AaARRGHHH.

But today, I’m calm. But there are too many roses and balloons in red and white in this office right now.

13 comments:

Christopher said...

You're braver than I. I never go into lakes or the sea. I blame Jaws and the death of Jeff Buckley.

Peas on Toast said...

I was pretty brave wasn't I?

And although pure logic said to me, "There are no sharks in freshwater lakes," the other half of my brain was saying, "Oh God, what if Jaws is underneath me right now? What if he bites my leg off? Get me out of THIS WATER NOW!"

But I made it out alive. Phew. x

Christopher said...

I sometimes wonder if it's possible for a shark to get into a public swimming pool. I know it's crazy but it does concern me a little.
Logic and fear rarely go together, do they?

I'm also scared of Spiders, horses, heights and Play-Doh.

Peas on Toast said...

I've also wondered that! So glad someone else is as nuts as I am. I have also been really scared of having baths that are too deep. In case something comes out the plughole and I find myself bathing with an eel or something. Oh god, the thought fills me with dread.

The whole fear/logic thing comes down to not knowing or seeing whats underneath you. And while you splash and banter frivilously, something will find you and ate you alive or pull you under.

And let's not even talk about the ocean....I always make sure that there are at least ten people more further out than I and that I can EVERYTHING that is going on around me.

Just talking about this is giving me the heebies.

Christopher said...

But how do you explain fear of Play-Doh?
Seriously, It freaks me out. It's like holding a crucifix to a vampire. If anyone near me has any at anytime, I'll flee. Strange, huh?

Peas on Toast said...

Mate, I don't know about the Play Doh. But I can tell you that I cannot touch an eggbox? The texture makes me want to die, and as a result, if Im in the grocery store, I need to ask for assistance - like someone to put the eggs in my trolley. strange.

Christopher said...

That is so cute. I'm sorry, it just is.

Peas on Toast said...

I'm glad you think so Chris, seriously! When I drop eggboxes on the floor because I have to put them in my trolley myself, it gets embarrassing.

What would you do if someone put Play Doh on your pillow while you were asleep?

Christopher said...

I would scream, vomit and jump out of the window. The first two may happen at the same time.
Ugh. What a horrible image.
It's the smell that gets me.

Peas on Toast said...

Does Play Doh really smell?

I haven't got close enough to an eggbox to find out if it smells.

But I'm sure it does. They're nasty.

Blondie said...

I am so glad that Valentine's Day is over! Worst holiday ever! But I wish all the girls in my office would take their flowers, balloons, and candy home. I still have to sit here and look at this crap!

Peas on Toast said...

Blondie, I hear you. This one chick in my office has to relegate each and every day about how her boyfriend took her on a picnic/wrote her a poem/gave her an orgasm/bought her choclates. And we ignore her.

Yet it continues. Everytime her phone beeps, she feels the need to share with us what the fucking boyfriend has to say.

It's quite sick really.

Peas on Toast said...

Blondie, I hear you. This one chick in my office has to relegate each and every day about how her boyfriend took her on a picnic/wrote her a poem/gave her an orgasm/bought her choclates. And we ignore her.

Yet it continues. Everytime her phone beeps, she feels the need to share with us what the f*cking boyfriend has to say.

It's quite sick really.