Thursday, February 03, 2005

when work is up, love is down

Last week, the PR lady and I had to come up with an ad campaign and promotional items for about 60 000 young people. No problem, she ordered 60 000 of those stress noodle thingamabobs and I wrote the promotional insert inside the pack.

She orders them and after an exorbitant amount of money, we get them delivered to our office. I look over it, and pleased with my work, take it to my big boss to see. First mistake. Boss spots a spelling mistake that none of us saw even after checking it six times. Of course, it’s my fault and I’m in huge shit.

The only thing we could do is get them reprinted at a huge cost, plus get people to refold the 60 000 new inserts for five solid days. We even thought of just printing a sticker and putting it over the mistake. (No. Too patchworky). We even suggested that we all go to one house, grab a couple of bottles of gin, have a party and fold the inserts ourselves. All VERY unappealing and totally not cost-effective. We worked out that to fold one insert would have to take 10 seconds, so that it took five solid days to finish. That's a lot of folding.

Then Larry, our promo guy came up with an ingenious plan. We admit the mistake, run a competition campaign along the lines of , “Find-the-mistake and Win” and get a sponsor to throw in a prize. We just have to put a sticker on these 60 000 little boxes to explain the competition. The people would read the inserts for sure and fill in a slip and our database suddenly increases as well! Easy and cheap! (We'd save almost R90 000/8 000 quid) So, we thought of asking Coke to sponsor Coke for a month, or a CD player or Red Bull….until Michelle, the PR lady, has got…wait for it…VW to sponsor a Polo Playa to the winner.

Get out?!!! With that kind of motivation I would’ve totally found that error!
So we pitched the idea to my big boss yesterday and she’s bought it. She loves me again. Thank god, and thank you Larry.

On a more depressing note, it’s been four days since Steve and I conversed. I come home, exercise, feed Mason, take a bath and then curl up with a book. In the spare room. I have no life. (At least the book is half-entertaining: The Exploded View) He woke up early this morning and I confronted him saying that if he loved me he would’ve apologised for his behaviour by now. He swore at me again. I am so tired of being taken for granted. I realise now that he just doesn’t love me enough. He calls me names, and I get mad, so I fight back and say bad things. But he goes one level lower, like criticising my career, my values, my fucking driving. I never go that low. I know I can be horrible, but why does he have to put me down?

I don’t think I have ever been loved enough. This is all just too heartbreaking.

Each boyfriend I have had is the same: they are less than nice. They are successful, ambitious, good looking, tall and charismatic. And they are assholes to me. Maybe I ask for it/don’t gain enough respect/am too soft/too hard, who knows – but they somehow always say the horriblest things to me. After three serious boyfriends, surely this has GOT to mean there is something wrong with me?

Honestly, why do I put up with this? If this fails, I am seriously never going to pursue another relationship again. It’s really not worth it. I’ll never let anything get serious again, and I definitely would never move in with a man again for as long as I live. I’ve loved and lost, so why do it over and over and over again? I can’t make somebody love me. Perhaps I’ve learnt a valuable lesson through all this with Steve and with Richard as well: I'm better off being on my own.


B said...

It's good to see that work is going well once again. You're lucky you work with someone like Larry to help bail you out sometimes. :)

I hate to hear things like this concerning you and Steve. I mean is it really that hard for you two to compromise and get all of this shit out in one sitting? Tell each other what is going on and let the other know what you are feeling and why you are feeling like that, in a calm manner. It may sound too easy, but it may very well work and save your relationship. I'm sure Steve loves you; to dictate how much is your call, but I wouldn't raise that bar too high; after all, you two are still just boyfriend/girlfriend. Perhaps he doesn't understand what you are feeling and needs to be enlightened as to whats going on, in a calm and non-accusing way.

You are starting to sound more and more like me about this. I feel a lot of the same ways as you do, concerning the part about never feeling loved enough and always experiencing heartbreak. The funny thing is, I'm a nice guy, and all the nice guys get shot down by girls that claim they want a better guy instead of a jackass, but then just go back to the jackass. And that probably doesn't help you out any; I figured it was worth a mention. But don't feel like that. Trust me heavily on this one: it just brings you deeper and deeper into depression until you end up like me.

It could be you, but it probably isn't. And don't say that you won't ever be in another serious relationship again IF things fail with Steve. He just wasn't the right guy at the right time if it boils down to that. Don't let past failures get to you; just look optimistically towards the future (I should really try to follow my own advice sometimes...) and when an opportunity presents itself, be yourself, and not a person that is created just to please the guy you are with. And especially don't make someone love you. Let them see what you really are and love you for that. Remember this: practically no human being on this planet is better off alone. Everyone needs someone. It's better to have loved and lost than to never be loved at all, and I can not agree with this more.

I hope my little ranting-advice type thingy helps you out Laurien. Please try to keep your chin up and don't be sad. And things will go better for you right off the bat. Hope things turn out for the better real soon, like 30 seconds after you read this type soon. Take care, Brandon

zuzula said...

It's not you. If I've learned one thing in my life the hard way it's that you can't change anyone. If they don't love you the way you want them to, they never will. If they put you down and make you feel bad, they always will. There's nothing you can do to, either by changing your own behaviour or trying to change theirs.

I hope that things work out the way you want them to - but take it from a 27 year old resolute singleton - being on your own can be a lot of fun too! ;)

Peas on Toast said...

I must say, the thought of being alone is completely refreshing. I just want the ache to disappear. Nothing that a staunch amount of alcohol and a ladies night won't resolve, eh? :)

zuzula said...

Absolutely! Once you get the shawshag redemption (as my friend Morwenna calls the first post-boyfriend liaison) out of the way it's plain sailing :)

Roonie said...

You know what? There is someone out there who WILL appreciate you. You don't have to settle for less. You just don't. I've learned this. No freakin' way. Think about it from our perspective: WE are still searching for someone to treat US right. I'm certain it's the same for the (frustrating and incomprehensible) male species. All we need is one of them, right? And you know what? Being single and bored/content is better than being tied-down and fighting (even if the sex is good, wink wink). I think you're doing just fine. And by the way, Metallica IS great. You are correct about that.

Nettie said...

Yay Larry! I am personally in the state of single and loving it. If the right guy comes along, great. If not, whatever. Makes for much less stress on my part after two exes practically stalked me.

Ed Abbey said...

Life is to short to not be happy. Being happy and staying happy should be the number one and two goals in life. Do things that make you happy. Love is not something you can search for or try for, it just comes when it is time. Love is not happiness but rather happiness is love.

Blog ho said...

I think men in So. Africa are just mean. That's what I hear. I had a friend who knew a guy from So. Africa and he was terrible...not my friend, but the guy he knew. I think you need a Canadian man. They're nice, but they say eh, a lot.

Or you could date an ugly guy who's grateful for your hotness and cherishes you and then starts to stalk you when you break up with him because he knows he'll never get someone as good as you again. That's ... what I do. I mean did.

Peas on Toast said...

Fwannie - thanks. I hope he got the fright of his life and will finally pull himself together and apprecaite me. Otherwise, you're right. Time to find some other lovin'.

Ed - Too true. If he doesn't make me happy, then I'll make me happy.

Ho - That's a hectic stereotype. I hope there are SOME So Af guys that are nice out there. But lots of them are chauvinist bastards. Agreed. If the sex aint worth it, walk. Touche.

Binsk said...

I know you've had a talk with him (I read your newer posts above) and things hopefully will work out, but I just have a little advice for you that I heard somewhere and thought it made a lot of sense.
Since it seems to be a recurring theme with you and the men in your life..."you teach people how to treat you" meaning you must not be sticking up for yourself enough when these guys start to push you around or speak to you in an aggressive way. You make sure that they know you won't tolerate it and if they want you badly enough they will change their behaviour to keep you happy...and you deserve to be happy. Just my two cents, hope it helps!