Ho was right. I climbed into bed at 8:00pm, and didn't exactly sleep though the night, but, BUT! I feel somewhat better - I can actually function in public.
I'm meant to be going away this long weekend to the Vaal river. Ordinarily I can't wait: low key slothing, canoeing, sitting in front of warm fires, lots of red wine, out of the rat race. Also going with two good guy friends of mine. And they, who are good friends with my ex, have invited him.
You shake your head in bewilderment. But I am ok with this, as long as he
1) Doesn't directly address me when he speaks to me
2) Does not dare touch me or try anything, for I will kill him
3) If I become the butt of one of his jokes, I will tell everyone:
a) That our sex life was as interesting as watching paint dry
b) The celebrated tininess of his penis (not true, but statement will wreak havoc)
c) Tell him to drive up Northcliff hill, quietly fuck himself, then drop off the edge.
So the chances of me wanting him are nil. Therefore I am safe. Hey, maybe it'll even be fun.
5 comments:
Wine, fires and out of the rat race is reason enough to go!
Have fun, don't kill anybody while you're there though ;)
Good plan. I particularly like point 3(c), and have a vivid picture of how the aforementioned illegal activity would play out. Brilliant, brilliant visuals. Camera pans from sea below... fear in ex's eyes... protagonist (yourself) carefully mumbling the following - "Muahahahahah!"
Sweeet.
Ho was right...I just don't hear that enough.
ewwww. going out with the ex is a sticky situation. best of luck!
Binsk - that's excatly what it was. And I luckily refrained myself from killing anyone.
Wonderwall - you've got it. It's all about the visuals. WE should make a movie:
"Northcliff Hill DRop Off." Or "It wasn't Me!"
Blog Ho - You are right. YOu need to demand more respect bro. Because as far as I can tell, you are ALWAYS right.
Janie - I defintely did not celebrate his penis, or lack thereof. But he actually has a sizeable penis. Why are we talking about this again?
Anny - tell me about it. It was extremely awkward to say the least....
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