Apparently Jolly Roger is now an exclusive dating hot-spot, because you can sit in dark and dingy corners away from prying eyes. Suddenly I'm not welcome, although I'm a regular there. Pants! I'm being cryptic, but it's all I can offer you right now.
Joburg is a small place, and I am agreeing with Nick on this one. "I'm fucked off with everybody, we are living in the movie "Closer," and people are decieiving people that don't deserve it."
He's cross with me too, because feels I added to this, as did he. I agree with him. I want out of this pyschological drama, as what is my life, and my freind's lives around me. Is it because we're 25, and seraching for options, excitement, whatever until we settle down? I don't know, but I'm ready to become a recluse for a while, so this stuff doesn't mindfuck me. One of my friends has recently become involved in all this. People are fickle, confused, oversexed, overpaid in my circle, and it has got to stop. And I'm going to be the first one to do this. Because I perhaps started it, because I am in love with two people. (Not that I'm acting on it.)
Friendships here are warped, people always competing with people, and alwayswanting more, because one one fucked up situation is never enough.
Maybe people think loving two people is cool, and it's fun, but guess what, it's really not. It's hell. Maybe they think stringing along two blokes is cool too, but it's not.
I'm REALLY pissed. And I can't wait to just forget about it all over alcohol. And you know what? I AM going to go to Jolly. I will sit downstairs with Weezy out of sight from everybody.
I think I need a holiday. Far, far away.