Friday, October 14, 2005

Roon sirbees

Breakthrough with ex - after three months of silence and ignoration, we a) kissed and hugged each other hello at the Jolly Roger, b) managed to make small talk and c) be mature.
Hooray! That might be as far it goes ever, due to the fact that I love him, so we'll never have dinner parties, but at least we're being polite.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:

Room Service (RS): "Morrin.  Roon sirbees."

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..herro!  Jewish to oddor sunteen??"

G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What??"

RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"

G : "Oh, the eggs!  How do I like them?  
Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee baykem?  Crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS : "Hokay.  An Sahn toes?"

G: "What?"

RS:"An toes.  July Sahn toes?"

G: "I don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes?  Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

G: "English muffin!!  I've got it!  You were saying 'Toast.'  Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bodder?"

G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"  

G: "Excuse me?"

RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"

G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie.  Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"

G: "Whatever you say."

RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."

G : "You're very welcome."


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Peas on Toast said...

Herro Chros moohbeams.
How July a big fu yoo?>

Better Safe Than Sorry said...

but now i can't decide what i want for breakfast!
mmmmmm, toes

She of the handbag said...

Fantastic! That'll keep me smiling all day. Your comment made me laugh as much as your post:)

Peas on Toast said...

I wud lie suhm boyud eggs. Or maybe some pooch'd eggs.

Ed Abbey said...

My office mates are all laying on the floor gasping for breath after my rendition of this blog. To borrow a phrase from the British, spot on!

Peas on Toast said...

It's pretty hysterical, huh?!
I've been laughing all day myself. And what's cary is this is exactly how it is over there!

Firebird said...

This was just illarious. Nice one. :)

I think I will send per email to some of my colleagues. :)

November Rain said...

lol that is funny