So there are only a few sports I can watch without getting bored. These are downhill skiing, soccer, rugby, mud wrestling, ice hockey, javelin throwing.
Fast sports, where things happen quickly, where my attention span, which is that of a yak, can be substantiated.
Cricket isn't one of them, but occasionally, I will embark on a festive session of cricket watching. Like this afternoon, a Pro 20 match at the Wanderers.
The reason I do this to myself, perhaps three times a year, is because the Wanderers is within apt walking distance from my house. I am usually roped into it by a group of boys, and well, the vibe is great, especially after a couple of toots.
The last time I was at cricket, I got to sit in a box, where free food and drink flowed effortlessly between us.
I got absolutely smashed.
A friend and I walked home, stumbled home in fact, along Corlett Drive flashing and mooning passing cars, then stopping for ouzo at the then-Plaka. Thereafter we played props on the island intersecting Oxford Road and Corlett, comprising golf swings on the pedestrian crossing as cars had to stop and wait for us to finish, doing the fandango on the island, and hugging the homeless guy that lives there.
I then went inside and projectile vomited everywhere but in my toilet, although it wasn't through lack of trying to aim directly into it. I never vomit. The last time I vomayed was in America four years ago, and I blame altitude sickness.
So let's hope this doesn't happen again.