Saturday, February 18, 2006

on dreaming

Sleeping next to someone can be a little hectic. Besides the in-your-sleep fart issue, there are unprecedented foibles that involuntarily come to the fore.

Small Bum finds it hard to sleep, period. And moans and groans of sleep deprivation the next morning. Me, I'm a noisy tosser and turner.

Last night I woke up crying, wailing. Then I slapped him. In my sleep.

You see, I was dreaming that he decided that he didn't love me.
He is not in love with me, so far as I can tell, so perhaps this is why I dreamt this. We had a drink with his brother yesterday, where they both told me that they know within a WEEK of being with someone whether they would want to spend the rest of their lives with that person. A week?? A WEEK? Jeeziz. They also both agree that 'true love' (whatever that is) is when both parties love each other and want to marry each other. Christ - the pressure! Small Bum has never told any of his girlfriends he loves them, and he certainly hasn't told me this either. So why was he with them if he knew after a week he didn't want to be?

I find this fascinating. And call me old fashioned, but I do believe it takes longer than 7 days to get to know someone. I've been with him now for I suppose almost two months. I still find it difficult to ascertain whether I am in love with him or not, because one cannot always be objective about these things. But at least I've thought about it. So I'm being sensible about it: If it works, it works. He's fantastic, we get along great, we're very alike, but how am I supposed to know 'this is it?' Surely that would just be grossly naive?

Anyway, issue aside: this has manifested in my dreams obviously where I am now wailing and berating him in my sleep. I just told him that a pack of wolves were hunting me down.

In my last relationship, I almost beat the poor guy up while I was sleeping because I dreamt he ran off with one of my friends.

Christ. I really thought I was more secure than this.
As long as Small Bum doesn't know, I suppose it will be ok.

"I have a phobia about being eaten by hungry wolves. Deal with it."


bellxone said...

hi and thanks a lot for your comment ! a quick answer ! thanks a lot and also thanks for your "beau" french speaking ! :)
have a nice day

Bellxone, Bordeaux, FRANCE

Peas on Toast said...

De rien Bellxone. J'ai visitee Bordeaux un fois (pardon, mon francais est nul), est j'ai bu trop beau vin rouge.

Bonne journee aussi. :)

Martin said...

Peas, now you're making me all hot, what with the french and all...

Jeepers, let me go walk around outside for a while.

Peas on Toast said...

Ah oui oui :)

Peut etre une douche froid?

Just kidding, I always find a cold shower works. ;)

Jam said...

I used to have dreams like that too before I became (unexpectedly) single recently...
I would just wake up vicious and grumpy the next morning and my partner would spend the day confused, wondering what the hell he'd done.

Nettie said...

It is so hard to not be affected by what happens in the dream world...

Peas on Toast said...

Nettie and Jam - Dreams can totally affect you for the rest of the waking day, agreed.

I dreamt about skiing and working in Colorado again last night, and as a result I'm feeling rather flat today...