I am trying to recover from an awful weekend.
It shouldn't have been awful at all, in fact it should've been fantastic.
A whole lot of us went down to Viljoenskroon in the Free State to stay one one of my mate's beautiful farms. It was beautiful - colonial (we only drank tea with cup and saucer), we stayed inside the most stunning Cape Dutch farm house, we ate like kings, played games, swam and relaxed.
And I was in the most anxious mood pretty much the whole time. Granted I laughed till I cried twice, but then I went for a walk across the farm all by myself because I was at a wits end with myself and everyone else.
Perhaps it's because today would've been my 6 year anniversary with my most recent ex. Sadness prevails.
Perhaps its because of Weezy's weirdness, and how it manifests into anger for no reason at all.
Perhaps its because everyone felt that they can talk about everyone else, and be bitchy about their close friends a lot of the time.
Perhaps its because I need space from everyone and everything right now.
All three. I will henceforth spend this week at home scrubbing the bath, vacuuming the carpets, filling the fridge with food and closing my bedroom door off from the rest of the world.
Maybe I'll resurface a new person.