Tuesday, February 21, 2006

unexpectedly awful

I am trying to recover from an awful weekend.

It shouldn't have been awful at all, in fact it should've been fantastic.

A whole lot of us went down to Viljoenskroon in the Free State to stay one one of my mate's beautiful farms. It was beautiful - colonial (we only drank tea with cup and saucer), we stayed inside the most stunning Cape Dutch farm house, we ate like kings, played games, swam and relaxed.

And I was in the most anxious mood pretty much the whole time. Granted I laughed till I cried twice, but then I went for a walk across the farm all by myself because I was at a wits end with myself and everyone else.

Perhaps it's because today would've been my 6 year anniversary with my most recent ex. Sadness prevails.
Perhaps its because of Weezy's weirdness, and how it manifests into anger for no reason at all.
Perhaps its because everyone felt that they can talk about everyone else, and be bitchy about their close friends a lot of the time.
Perhaps its because I need space from everyone and everything right now.

All three. I will henceforth spend this week at home scrubbing the bath, vacuuming the carpets, filling the fridge with food and closing my bedroom door off from the rest of the world.

Maybe I'll resurface a new person.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean. Sometimes a person just needs to call a "time-out" and get in touch with themselves for a change. Enjoy the time alone, you will feel refreshed and ready to take on the world afterwards.

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Anonymous.
I'm going to pretend I am not currently in Joburg for the moment, and will resurface perhaps after the weekend.
I think I've been burning the candle at both ends too much lately when it comes to seeing everyone all the time...

Billy said...

Hello Peas,
Sorry to hear the you are bleak, chin up, get yourself into perspective and hibernate if need be, you will be alright, things will correct themselves, look after yourself and only yourself for a few days.
Its only 4 more sleeps till the weekend anyway, throw in a sick day tomorrow or on Wednesday and its a little more bearable!

November Rain said...

sorry to hear this

Jam said...

Hey - hope you feel better soon - perhaps a good dose of duvet hiding is in order...

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks guys
I'm feeling better already. Alone therapy I call it. :)