The ex unblocked me from his email. Henceforth getting my email of apology. He wrote back, more rational. Long and drawn out, but two things stuck:
1) He's been kissing the whole of Joburg.
2) He said that if Small Bum ever hurt me, he'd break his neck.
Point 2) is what really hit home. Possibly the most protective thing he's ever said since our break up. In some ways, the nicest. It saddened me, for after all the hurt I've caused him by moving on, he is still willing to beat up my new boyfriend for all the right reasons, not jealousy or possessiveness.
Now I think I'm getting sick. The temperature in Johannesburg unwittingly dropped 20 degrees over the weekend, thrusting everyone into winter ever so suddenly, and nobody has climatised yet.
So my colleagues and I sit here snivveling and sneezing, wrapped in layers of clothes. It's facking cold.
11 comments:
typical - this fool's caused you more pain than a root canal, but he still thinks he's entitled to moer SB, the most positive thing in your life at the moment, if he judges SB to have hurt you. What is it with these South African men? And you think it's nice because you feel you owe him something for having moved on? What is it with these South African women? You need to develop some assertiveness, sista.
Discovered your blog yesterday, by the way - it's wicked. Well-written, interesting, and best of all, sincere.
Thanks duke.
No you're totally right. I should be more assertive. I suppose I'm one of the weaker ones that hates hurting people, but really, I should suck it up.
I'm a sucker for punishment you see.
In the meantime, SB is amazing. And through all this cr@p, he really has been the most positive thing. As he said, "You've had a terrible year. Thank God you met me.;)"
He's right.
Glad you like the blog, dear.
Duke, it's easier said than done - it would be nice for Peas to be completely immune to her ex's reactions, but the fact of the matter is, in some ways she still cares very deeply for him. Peas, ultimately duke's right, the ex has only brought the pain on himself. You warned him against it, he stubbornly ignored you. His fault! So take solace in that splendid new boy of yours...
Ant - I love you guy.
Duke meet Ant, my adorably awesome flatmate, and Ant meet Duke. A new reader that gives me stuff to think about.
:)
i guess it's always easy to give advice - less easy to do what you know you should.
i'm sitting here in the miserable uk (pissing down), and your blog makes me miss jozi. We seem to have a few common factors - the jolly roger, radium, journalism.
keep it in the style of love, guys...
Yeah- what is it with these South African men that the only thing that works with them is twenty-twenty hindsight?
While his response is rather sweet, you're also right. It's belated and therefore you should keep moving onward and upward.
Hope you feel better!
Duke
You're obviously from Jozi as well right?
You must read www.joblog.co.za as well, although you may feel even more nostalgic.
Yip, I work around the corner from the good old Radium, I hit the Jolly on an almost constant basis, and journalism is my life really.
In between all my other chaos.
So are you working as a journalist in London to make extra cash or what?
Jam - I heard somewhere, a survey, that rated South African men as the biggest chauvinists in the world. I'm sure Taliban men are worse, but as far as twenty-twenty hindsight is concerned, we often get a bad deal just because most of these men are like that.
But I'm feeling much better thanks, I'm trying to fly under the radar a bit until this all dies down...x
Is that chauvinist thing true? It hardly surprises me. Sometimes I think our local men feel that we need to lie down and play dead, and should never ever open our mouths about anything that is actually UPSETTING us!
And I'm pleased to hear that you're feeling better!
yep, jozi born and bred.
I decided journalism wasn't for me, so now i'm working and studying over here. Coming home for sure though - gonna be back in jozi for good within the next two years - love the place.
Jam - That's what I heard. I have an example that comes to mind as well: I lived in France for year. I went up the Eiffel Tower twice while I was there. Once with a South African guy I was seeing, the second time with a French guy I was seeing. The South African guy didn't carry my backpack to the top, the French guy did.
Duke - I'm not a born and bred Jozite, but this place is definotely my home. Not to say I won't do the London thing sometime - I will, but perhaps when I don't know so many Saffers there. :)
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