Wednesday, April 12, 2006

a night in with dockers

Dockers, my best guy friend, came over last night in an effort to eradicate his Monday blues. Why I would be a good candidate for cheering anyone up at the moment is beyond me, but I'm so glad he came over.

We ate an entire carrot cake and a box of nougat. We became kids. It was wonderful. High on sugar, we even made a bloody Peas & Dockers dance together to the wonderful lyrical genii of Wham. We watched Before Sunset, and we laughed until we cried.

He also told me that he thinks I'm on the brink of a cataclysmic breakdown, because I don't care what people think anymore. This is true.
"Peas, I know two people that have gone nuts in their lifetime. Before their breakdowns, both parties suddenly completely stopped caring what people think of them, and just didn't give a fuck in general."

So that was interesting.

Small Bum and I are going away to the Kruger Park on Thursday with a very loved-up couple we know well. They are both good friends of ours. Small Bum and I, both being the obstinate, argumentative and self-righteous people we are, argue alot. We find this fun; almost the glue that keeps things challenging. But in light of all the other loved up couples out there - it's a pandemic - we have earned the sterling reputation of the "fightey couple."
It's a hard one to shake. And quite frankly, we both find this a little demeaning.

So we've coined a plan of action for the weekend to turn this little scenario around.

We're not going to be fightey couple anymore.
This is how we will do it:
1) Both of us must accept that one of us will have the last word. Don't fight it.
2) On the urge to argue, take a deep breath and ignore the other person. This person will know he/she is being ignored for a reason and will shut up.
3) If one of us needs space, that person will take my car for a game drive to cool off.
4) On the affection side, we will show each other lots. Not public graunching, good Lord no, just small things.
5) Under no circumstances will we be on opposing teams for games like 30 Seconds and such. Due to us both being over-the-top competitive, we have to be on the same team so we don't fight. So we always win. Together.
6) To ease any tension or frustration, we will have sex at least once a day.

Suck it up lovey dovey couples that never come up for air! Fightey couple we are no longer!
(I'm not sure if this is a huge achievement, but in a world free of booze, cigarettes and fun, any challenge sounds exciting.)


Jam said...

Is caring what people think so important? And in what sense does he mean "not caring what people think"? Because I think it's important to be able to do what you need to without worrying about what other people are going to say.

And on you and SB - just respect what the other person has to say, and appreciate your differences. No one has to be right! Sex once a day seems frugal when on holiday. :)

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - I reckon all of us care what people think to some extent. Everyone says, "well I don't care what so and so thinks," but ah, they actually do. At this point I don't. But that's a whole other new post. :) I am kind of fucking off everybosy at the moment by simply doing and not caring, so it's a bad end of the spectrum to be at if you get what I'm saying.

And as for SB, absolutely. We're both strong personalities that need to learn tolerance, and this is the best way to do it. Perhaps we should up the sex stakes for rewards at the end of a no-fighty day, eh? ;)

Phil said...

Hey - May the force be with you regarding stopping fighting. I have been in a "fighty" relationship and it is VERY difficult to stop. Staying sober - BOTH of you - will definitely help though....
Just understand that your relationship without fights may end up being quite different. I found the adrenelin rush of a good fight made up for boredom in other areas of the relationship. Fortunately not in the bedroom as that was exciting enough for five people!

Peas on Toast said...

Phil - thanks. Hopefully it'll work? We're both going to make a concerted effort, but as you say - what if it gets boring now? We love egging each other on, it's just too much fun. Perhaps this means we'll be having more sex than ever. Not possible, surely??

So let's tally this up:
This month I have given up
1) cigarettes
2) booze (not forever, but until I become less nuts)
3) fighting

Life just does not get any better than this.

Phil said...

Gee - now you need only give up sex and you are sorted. He he.

As for the fighting I guess somehow the "egging on" needs to stay but both need to keep it light-hearted and impersonal or you will end up at each others throats ASAP again.

acidicice said...

My finace and I used to be a very fightey couple...but we're also very affectionate...the fighting nowadays - not so much - affection nowadays - still there a golden midway or have we become a lovey dovey couple?

Peas on Toast said...

Phil - If I have to give up sex, that's it. You might as well cart me away in a straight jacket. It would be simply be the straw that broke the camel's back.

Acidicice - you're a lovey dovey couple I'm afraid! ;) That's what we're trying to be.

Carol said...

Phil: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhhh that is me thinking of life with sex on top of no booze and no cigs. Luckily still having booze and cigs cause been celibate for 4 months.

Peas: DON'T do it... life is too short enjoy - besides we wouldn't want boiledpeasontoast the mushy ones are much better!!

Peas on Toast said...

Carol - there is NO WAY I'm giving up sex girlfriend. Unless of course a penis is longer available to me voluntarily. Meaning I may have to start taking funky shit throughout the day to keep me going.

But today I am in no position to turn down life's greatest necessity: rolling in the hay.

Daedalus said...


A man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

Carol said...

The kind of girl a real man wants because she actually likes sex and is good at it.

Phil said...

Perhaps you should give the "no sex" thing a try....for a limited time like say a week....but include kissing and touching but nothing "heavier".....if nothing else when you DO shag again it will blow both your minds...

Unless of course you scared because you KNOW you could not last a week?

Peas on Toast said...

Daedalus - that's me!!

Carol - nicely said!

Phil - why would I want to voluntarily put myself through that kind of torture Phil?

Phil said...

Just imagine the joy when you end your self-imposed exile?

Ah - never mind

Peas on Toast said...

..yeah yeah yeah, that joy cannot possibly be surpassed by the frustrated anguish of the preceeding abstinence therein!
Nice try though. ;)

PS: You're a '40 Days & 40 Nights' fan, aren't you?

Daedalus said...

On-the-other-hand peas/carol...

*Frigid* is a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex less often than he does, or who requires more foreplay than lifting her nightgown.

Peas on Toast said...

And I suppose there's no middle ground?
Like one night she has a headache and the next she's ready to jump him over the coffee table?

Sheesh. :)

Daedalus said...

Peas ... Errr... yes, there is:

Marriage... the process of finding out what type of person your spouse would prefer... haha

Peas on Toast said...

Marraige: a prison sentence.
Frigid: A man's member long after sex, long after she's rolled over, long after he's popped Viagra.
Nymphomaniac: Someone who doesn't pretend she has a headache four time a week. A healthy appetite for sex.

(Sometimes you need a women's perspective on things, see.)

Daedalus said...


Every absurdity has a champion to defend it. :)


I recon I have had ample practice in *that* department, but, I use my skills sparingly. Keep a careful watch on the word: “TOO”