Well something cheered me up immensely last night.
On the way home from drinks at a friends place, I say to Small Bum in the car:
"If you had the opportunity to do anything to me...think about it...anything, anything! Or you had the power to get me to do anything to you, what would it be?"
This was an innocent stab at trying to talk dirty with the guy. Innocent because I don't have the ability to do it like a porn star, and innocent because, in fact, my dirty talk is mostly clean.
To which I get:
"I'd want to stick it up your left nostril."
Luckily, I found this so amusing I thought my sides would split.
He was joking, of course. But I'm thinking dirty talk can't be learnt. It's not a technique that is gained. You're either good at it or you're not.
19 comments:
Laughing: Good.
Glad to hear SB has the gift!
Clearly ! :) There are some things I'm willing to teach, and there are some things he's gonna have to learn on his own. :)
So funny.
My dirty talk is lousy too. I am always struck with the overwhelming urge to fall over laughing, even when someone is a good dirty talker, because it often sounds so contrived.
Glad to see you're feeling a bit better today!
Nice! Isnt that called a Nostrildamus when you stick it in her nose? Thats what I've heard :)
Jam - that's exactly what Small BUm says. It sounds so cheesy. Which is why I can only sort of do it after a drink or two ;)
Mike - Nostrildamus? wahahahahahaha.:)
Every now and again, I try dirty talk with the Gilb, the reaction I always get is for him to freeze mid-thrusting and frown. SO not the desired effect! Hence, I stick to sweet nothings, appreciative moans/sighs/etc and a few guiding suggestions...
Because Small Bum and the Gilb seem awfully similar in the sack, I have definitely toned down my appreciative babbling and fantasy-tellings.
In fact, now, I say nothing. Not a word. It's like I can't now. But asking about a fantasy with a straight face and expecting a straight faced answer back shouldn't be a tall order should it?
Like when you're driving, talkign about the weather, what food we like, that sort of thing?
Or I suppose it is. Who would've thought usually loud men could be so shy, eh? ;)
i dont hear anything in mid shag except the headboard against the wall and the screams of delight from the neighbors.
Billy - Oh cupcake! There is NOTHING worse than hearing the primal screams of others in the throes of passion. Can I suggest an Ipod/wall insulator?
It's happened to me before and I couldn't handle it.
The logistics tax my overactive imagination.
However I once knew a lass who liked.... erm - thats another story
The smile looks good on you Peas
Thanks Antoine. Long may it last! :)
It's sick the way you people keep talking sex without me
Daedalus - you're welcome to join in on Peas' Sex Talk Club anytime my dear.
We're not exclusive you know. ;)
See no evil, hear no evil, bônk no evil. :P Nice blog - I guess I am barging in despite the invite :)
gawd - that's gonna hurt...
Daedalus - thanks chine.
Aquila - Can you imagine....?
*Aquila* and *Daedalus* in the same web-space may lead to chaos, panic and disorder...
PS: Peas -- If something I said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry or left you confused, then I meant the other one!
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