I'm sad today.
Last night I had Small Bum round for my supreme Norwegian salmon, sauteed courgettes on a bed of garlic mash potato. The one dish that actually gets me excited about poring over a hot stove.
The meal was great, if I may say so myself.
Then we started talking. About stuff we only should've spoken about on July 4th. As planned. He doesn't understand why I get bleak that we just seem to trundle on, and I don't understand how he manages to trundle on in the natural progression of things. Bottom line: I love him, but he hasn't fallen for me it seems.
Your classic, if not cliche love tragedy. Girl just doesn't do it enough for boy.
Needless to say, dinner ended on a sour note. I'm not sure what happens now. But I am bleak. Perhaps I should just be happy that he makes me happy. I will not cry. I will hold it together. Because if this is the end, it's not because he doesn't love me anymore. You can't lose something you never had right?
I wonder if he'll ever phone me again? Or if this is the end or what?
Perhaps it's better not to know, and just guess if by three days I haven't heard anything.
PS: Why am I such a needy bitch? Like I need him to love me? Pants.