Friday, June 30, 2006

dedicated to doc

I’m sad today. Been crying all morning, actually.
My best friend is flying out of Johannesburg as of this minute, to live in Delhi for two years. I never really thought this day would actually come – so much has been happening, the future was always just out of reality’s grasp.

Doc, I’m going to miss you so much. Who am I going to go on Johannesburg adventures with? Who will I talk to about if black holes really exist and is Stephen Hawking actually just bullshitting everybody? Here’s to being the best friend I ever could have hoped for. You’re going to be great over there. Those little female colonial expats are going to suck you up so quickly – you’re feeding yourself to the wolves my friend! (Enjoy every bit of it.)

Here are some of the highlights that I’ll always remember you by:
1) You, Moogs and I causing mayhem at the KFC (I Kan like Fried Chicken) in Vanderbijlpark.
2) Chatting about relationships, art, being hippies while puffing away on Rafiki, the Tanzanian pipe.
3) Dressing up for River Club to pretend I was yours and Moogs’ cherry on your arm(s).
4) Bringing me a tramezzini when I left work early to drink vodka and cry over a man.
5) Pizza and vodka at Trabella. And Jolly, at that.
6) Hanging your red doondies from the pole at Jolly Roger – and watching them sway in the breeze over 4th Street for five weeks before management took them down.
7) Lusitoland – caipirinhas, Vegas showgirl outfits, and you wearing my bra.
8) Showing me the Herbert Baker museum at your [previous] place of work.
9) Me squeezing your nipple through your torn shirt at Songwriter’s Club. (I do apologise.) The second time we met.
10) Letting me read your personal poetry book, and your stories.
11) Drinking gin and tonics in your parent’s garden, under the mosaic. You dropping your pants while putting on the lawn.
12) You dropping your pants at every drunken social occasion, period.
13) Sitting around a bonfire on Plett beach.
14) Attending tennis braais – dressed like Bjorn Borg.
15) Dancing up a storm at Moloko.
16) You phoning my mum to tell her that I’m a ‘nice young lady.’
17) Taking photos at the base of Ponte Tower at 9:00pm on a Sunday night, when we were both taking photography courses. Trying to ‘be cool’ with the local riff raff.
18) Eating Kung Fu Kitchen chips and watching Southpark.
19) Watching Super Bowl and fraternising at Brenthurst.
20) Driving to random places on the East Rand and making new friends.
21) You, me and Moogs going out in Melville until 7:00am, you guys swapping shirts, and Moogs getting lucky in your Fabiani special.
22) Hallowe’en party at the Colony. You dressing up as Frikkie van der Veldskoen with mullet, stubbie shorts and a comb in your socks. And still getting lucky. Twice.
23) Courtenay ;)
24) Midnight phonecalls, where I can’t hear a word in your voice message the next morning, and vice versa.
25) My Liechtenstein pillow, my [fabulous] earrings.
26) Being [rightfully] protective over your twin sister. Especially from the likes of certain friends of yours. [I’ll look after her, and try to stop that dude's not-so-subtle advances in your absence, guy.]
27) Calling Small Bum anything but his real name for the first two months. [“How is Paul?” It’s Small Bum, Doc. His name is Small Bum. “How are things going with Andrew?” Small Bum Doc. “Peas, John is hilarious.” Is he Doc? I thought Small Bum was hilarious.]
28) Drinking lots of red wine outside at 83 on 10th.
29) Driving past Parkhurst’s George’s on 4th, pumping Punjabi MC, windows down, bass in your face, and you recoiling in horror.
30) Third World Ant and I giving you a ballet and gymnastics show in your room after too many doubles at the Jolly.

Go do your thing Doccie-Poo. If you come back in tie-dye and a turban, Moogs and I will not be happy - we’ll come over there and sort you out one time. (But we’re coming over already – Goa watch out.) Thanks for being an incredible mate. You have so much to offer the world. I’m sure you’re going to actually miss our incestuous little circle, and of course, you’re going to miss me heaps too. ;)

And! When you bring a Hashrima Aziz home to meet the folks, please may I be there, even if I’m a fly on the proverbial wall. And careful with those curries out East, I’ve heard putting your toilet paper in the freezer only exacerbates the ring sting problem.

Until next time, my dear. Mwah.


Jam said...

I relate so well to this. My best friend is in Spain. I miss her with all my heart, I really do. Thankfully, the world has been made much smaller through e-mail, skype and blogging and so the distance feels somewhat more manegable.
You now also have a wonderful excuse to go to Delhi!

Peas on Toast said...

Ah Jam, thank goodness for the global village, huh? ;)

And I've already told Doc I'm planning my holiday to Delhi, probably with Moogs in tow.

I suppose this means a new chapter for Doc as well as me.

Billy said...

Mates like this bloke are what makes my life cool. Sounds like a winner!

Peas on Toast said...

He's great Bill. Will miss him alot. :(

muddlepuddle said...

Aaaaah Peasiepoo
You and me chicklet two cry babies today huh???? It's a blue Thursday

Sorry girly - me best mate in USA and I miss him everyday.

Tanx god you have a shining personality and so good mates will always be plenty.

Chin up pumpkin

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Muddlypuddly.

It's definitely going to be strange not having him around. I'll fill the void by going crazy at the July this weekend.

muddlepuddle said...

Yeah that's one way of getting out of the sad zone into the mad zone!
On the really bright side there is superb shopiing in Delhi my lady!
Good silks not like the rubbish we get here!

muddlepuddle said...

sorry.....I mean shoPPing.

Peas on Toast said...

So I've heard! And by the time I go over there, he'll be a local - so he can show me all the hotspots, shopping venues and the likes thereof!

He gets his own driver too, (with his job), so we can get hammered all over town.

muddlepuddle said...

Oh girl you ain't got no worries!

What a blast you guys are gonna have when you see each other next!

And think about it - thanks to MSN and Skype people are never really far away!

You'll be ok Peasies!

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks goodness for technology huh?

Lots of Delhi adventures ahead! :)

Thanks Muddle. x

guppa said...


wow. at the airport, plane flies in 30, people boarding- i guess the plane can't leave without me... so here i am sneaking one more look at the fabulous mushy peas...

i will miss you, and as jam said, you now have a great excuse to come to the contortion and humdrum of delhi!!!!!!

you are super wonderful, intelligent, perhaps a little crazy:)but you have made my two year jozi gig rock.

looking forward to hearing peas's weekend at the july, might cheer me up in the 49 degree heat.
bye sweetheart.

oh ya. peas- i tracked down your blog..

Peas on Toast said...

Ha ha, I'm a little crazy?? ;)

Gonna miss you Doc. Don't go squeezing the ait hostess' bums now while thry try to feed you aeroplane food. :)

Moogs and I were just sobbing on the phone to each other now. Who will make up the third member of the gang? Moogs reckons no one cos you're irreplaceable, and in his words: "our little hero."


Cheerio Dockers. xx

zuzula said...

he sounds awesome. Delhi better watch out!

my best mate upped sticks too this year. I miss her like mad but it means we now have piss ups on an international scale whenever/wherever we get together!

Peas on Toast said...

Oh yes Z, you and She of the Handbag have many an international story to tell my dear. And always entertaining at that!

I suppose people come and go in life, and those who are great friends will always be great friends.

i_am_not_who_i_am said...

i might be a bit late.....but would have loved to carry your bags doc!! dying to go to delhi,,,,,um peas......need anyone to carry your bags?????


Anonymous said...

Interesting to see how times have changed from Dear Abby to Peas. My life does not seem so hectic, even though we seeme to be going through the same things at the same time it just does not sound so bad when you describe it/situation/the nights jol. Thank you

Peas on Toast said...

Fida if you run really really fast, you may catch him at Security. ;)

Anon - no problem my dear. All these events start to blend together after a while. I just wonder whether it's ever going to slow down! ;)
(Maybe now that Doc is gone.)

i_am_not_who_i_am said...

the doc is a

"HE".......hahahaaha!@#$, made me think otherwise?@#$@?!$

ahhhh........"HE" will survive!!!!! india has BEAUTIFUL WOMEN!! .....who knows...he might just be sitting next to ashwairiyya rai on the plane!!



Anonymous said...

Hey Anon here, you sound really sad so I thought I would give you some quotes to keep your mind busy. Seeing that we both on your page. Oh and just in case you wondering I did not call your name but would love to be sitting at a table hearing your conversation. You seem natural and unique, world is lacking that. So here you go. Enjoy.The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. -- Albert Einstein

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly. -- Richard Bach

i_am_not_who_i_am said...

ohh.....and muddle >>

half of india has been IMPORTED to south africa...hahaha!@#...

if u really want silk fabric and MORE!! ask and indian!

we ALWAYS have contacts!!!!



Peas on Toast said...

Fida - Doc is going to come back with a beuatiful Indian lady on his arm, I just know it. He's entering paradise as we speak! :)

Anon - thank you! That's really sweet, and the comments are thought-provoking. So you think being natural and unique is a good thing? Sometimes I'm not too sure. ;)

Anonymous said...

Being natural is the only way, people have been so use to putting up masks that they forget that they are wearing them."To thine own self be true:)XXX

Peas on Toast said...

Anon, I've always sort of admired those than can put up masks and hide themselves from the world. I've never been able to. Which is to my detriment alot of the time! But perhaps I'm lucky. x

Anonymous said...

You see thats exactly what Im talking about! I wake up on a saturday morning going oh my god how could I have said that or done that. I think about being in control of my feelings and thinking first but at the expense of what, PASSION, Spontaneity. Your heart always knows the truth and it does not need time to think.Never done this before, took about 10 minutes to figure out how to place a comment, so please dont think Im this hectic chick:)Funny now you going to think why is she saying that If she is not, ha haXXX

Peas on Toast said...

Oh Anon, I have those moments too, believe me hon! If you take my weekend as a prime example and all the things I did and said - I could just die! I think it's important to realise that it's also ok to let yourself go and not care what anybody thinks sometimes. Not all the time, but some of the time. Therein lies the answer to happiness I believe. The problem is, as society conducts, we really do care what people think of us. We all want to be accepted. But every now and then, fuck it, I just do my thing as I want to do it.

There's nothing like taking the moment as you see it and doing what you want with it. Here's to that! (clink clink - *wine glasses*)

Anonymous said...

Peas, can I call you peas:) Love the wine glasses,ill paint the scene there is a little place mezzuluna (my best)....the two sit.

I need to disagree with you I think we dont care what all people think of us only the ones that we hold in regard. Have you read Plato's cave theory, would love you hear your commentsXXX

Oh and thank you thank you for the spinster story I almost started to cry to my girlfriend telling her I did not want to be that weird aunt that never had kids and is always drunk:)

Peas on Toast said...

Ha ha ha - the wierd aunt that's always drunk! Fuggin hell, that's me! :)

Mezzaluna in Melville - good place that. ;)

Yes those we place in high regard are those we care what they think about us. But what if we place everybody in high regard? (This isn't me, but some people have inferiority complexes, boggles the mind.)

I can tell you something though Anon, this weekend is going to be infuckingsane. It's going to be messy (auntie is out on the town again, armed with chardonnay) and I don't give a flying royal fudge what people think of my behaviour down in Durban. Can't wait! :)

Anonymous said...

Yes thats the place! The whole inside outside vibe, with a bottle of red wine and the fire for cold nights and white wine to watch the rain in summer funny how it just fits in with any occasion:Fat Bastard what a cool name. Durban, very cool. Its been a long time since Ive sat on a beach and watched a sunset. Might be a good thing though, the thoughts that go through my mind when I look out at the ocean. Sometimes its a good thing to be reminded of just how small we really are.

Buy one of those dodgy key

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - it's been forever (6 months?) since I've sat on a beach myself. And tanned my white ass. Like a true and reformed Vaalie, I can't wait to do it. ;)

Anonymous said...

Hey peas, tried to paste the funniest cartoon for you but just could not get it right. Not sure if you have seen any cyanide and happiness cartoons, they funnny. Look out for this one where Cyanide asks his buddy for help from Mike:) Its kills me everytime. Hope it does it for you. Good luck in Durbs and hope you have too much fun. Will wait for the update on

Peas on Toast said...

Awesome, love those cartoons! He Said (Godsgimp) posted one up for me once, they're great. Have a great weekend yourself! xx

i_am_not_who_i_am said...

oi oi oi.....wait a minute...
didnt u hear????
suntan ****my ass**** sunbathe*****wots that?@#%@$%#
try a beauty spa.....u might get lucky there!!!:))



Peas on Toast said...

Fuck! Fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck.

Spot the Vaalie freezing her doondies off on the beach! Oh dear. Maybe not.

(Oh well, at least I don't need to worry about a bikini wax...) ;)

i_am_not_who_i_am said...

pierce your nipples!!

that might make the statement you want to......with the cold weather adding to the heightened pleasure!@#$


Peas on Toast said...

Oy vey! Who will I have to show? ;)

i_am_not_who_i_am said...

i thought your dress for the gallop was TOPLESS!

ahh well...u can always....cut away the unnecessary bits ±±


Peas on Toast said...

No my darling, strapless, not topless. :)

i_am_not_who_i_am said...

ah wellllll...

a little slip of the hand.......shall do the trick!!


idea! :: u know those heat packs u get that u stick on your body......get a few of those.....and stick all round yah body........should keep you warm .......while showing off your goods!!!!!


Peas on Toast said...

I'm thinking Durbs cannot POSSIBLY as cold as Jozi right now. What with ice on my car, blue face, not being able to text message outside because of loss of coordination and circulation...

However, I'll heed your advice and bring along a sensible item of clothing to put over my dress, should the temperature require it!

PS: The weather bureau states it'll be 24 degrees in Durbs on Saturday. Let's hope they keep their promise.