Thursday, June 22, 2006

freaking get me out of here

So here’s a classic story of incest that you don’t hear everyday. This is definitely one for the grandkids.
Hold onto your pants kids, as this has got to be one of the most spectacular examples of inter-circle shagging to date.

Say I have two ex’s. Ex 1 and Ex 2. Ex 2 has an ex girlfriend, let’s call her M. Ex 1 is now dating M.. So essentially, my ex’s are swapping ex-girlfriends. Not making the connection yet? Ex’s going out with ex’s who are ex’s.

Have you ever?

The fact that this all occurred as a matter of sheer coincidence is what I can’t get my head around.

I mean – sweet lord above – am I living in Blikkiesfontein? One would think that the bright city lights of the 10-million-strong city in which I currently reside has diminished to a Platteland town. With ten inhabitants that feel the need to boof each other because there is no one else around, barring a few stray sheep in the countryside that surrounds. I’m doubting those sheep are safe either.

Ex 2 phoned me in disbelief, and we pondered the ridiculousness of the situation over a drink. The only logical conclusion we came to is that people go for the same types of people. Ex 1 and Ex 2 seem to have the exact same taste in women.
The funny thing about this is one of my mates met this girl when she was still with 2, and he sent me a text message:
“Oh my God. The girlfriend is SPECTACULARILY irritating.”

Which, in retrospect, is now doubly satisfying for me to know for not one, but two reasons, obviously.

Perhaps we have the same eyes. Or wear similar shoes. Or perhaps both uncannily flounce around in wooshy skirts and laugh hysterically at Southpark. Or worse: perhaps I’m spectacularily irritating. Luckily, and I’ve confirmed this, by the sounds of things I’m not half as bad by her standards. But who cares? Because we all know who is better in the sack. And she’s writing this post right now.

I think it’s time to move out of Joburg. This town just isn’t big enough for me anymore. I’m freaking out here. Somebody pass me a ventilation bag.

19 comments:

Daytripper said...

I know I shouldn't laugh, but that's hilarious!
I met my current girlfriend for the first time early this year. However, for the last 15 years we have been going to the same clubs, know the same peopel, like the same music and go to the same concerts and yet had NEVER met. In reverse, what are the odds fo that?!?!?!?

Peas on Toast said...

Daytripper - Shit, isn't this town just one crazy place?
:)

I'm off to Soweto on a work tour now, so at least I'm sort of getting out for the day...

The Real Marbro said...

stupid question,but do they live in boksburg?

just wondering....

Revolving Credit said...

Sounds like you've got the makings of an Ex rated movie...LOL

kyknoord said...

It's a reasonably well documented sociological phenomenon - big cities promote a village mentality. If you like, you can sleep on the couch in my spare room.

Jam said...

LOL! Very amusing indeed!
The thing is, South Africa is actually a small country. The white population is even smaller. It makes sense that similar people with similar interests hang out together...and that the different crowds are actually very small.
I have a similar situation with some of my friends - we all went to University together and we have all crossed lines many times (especially with regard to boyfriends / flings)
Maybe people just don't LOOK for new people enough...

Suavé said...

"But who cares? Because we all know who is better in the sack. And she’s writing this post right now." - HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Man that's hilarious! Thanks Peas. Once again you've made my morning.

Anyway yeah this does seem to happen to a lot of people more often than not believe it or not. It's like FuckFest '06 around here. I'm sure there's some girl walking aroung the streets of JHB who you dont know who likes the same guys that you have and if you were to compare notes you'd be rather suprised. I know that has happened to me with some one who liked the same girls I did. But she was a lesbian so... ;)

Daytripper said...

Its like my mate Hagen Engler likes to say, "Daar is mos min whities in Afrika..."

i_am_not_who_i_am said...

the world is getting smaller....and smaller.....and smaller......

Snotty_Miz said...

My lesbian neighbours with 6 dogs, have reminisced about how they met, alarmingly they've all had a bit of each other. Much like that kevin bacon game, through him, he has acted with every actor such... this being the carpet munching version!

Champagne Heathen said...

It's why I stick to guys with foreign accents. I am then able to know every 2nd (South African) girl doesn't know all intimacies there is to know about them....

Meanwhile, Daytripper, you mentioned Hagen. WELL, don't even get me started on that 1 degree of seperation from him I have in many many ways...

GoDsGiMp said...

So at the going rate.. you should be able to pick up ex2's ex M's ( ex1's current) ex2 in about two weeks. Its clear you have the same taste in men. Does that make sense...

EX1 + M
EX2 - M

=

M's EX + Peas

Revolving Credit said...

I'm assuming that none of these Ex(xx) & Ex(xy) combinations are actually blood relations? Cause that takes this game to a whole new level!

That becomes relations with relations!

Peas on Toast said...

Ha ha okes, thanks for your comments.

I'm going foreign. I've decided. I don't care whether he is Khazakstani.

Daytripper said...

ok Champagne, you are now obliged to tell i am afraid...

Peas on Toast said...

Nope, not that I know of Revolving. And we aren't from Boksburg either. Boksburg is rosy compared to this set-up!

Champagne Heathen said...

Daytripper...that's the joys of this sex degrees of seperation...you never know who you know, and who really knows all about you... [almost feel like scary music should be played]! But basically, I might be a Jozi chick, but ties are still close in PE.

Shortypam said...

hello its me pam back from a short absense... 2nd year exams are crass... what? you cant leave joburg.. i wont let you.. hehe (dont ask me how, im still pondering that as i type this) but have you ever wondered if it was possibly the guy whose dating the ex (ex1 or 2 i forget... im sorry) has developed some kind of wierd fetish for secong hand goods since you left... there are some huge freaks out there. but then again can you blame him.. lots of ex's turn loco once they stop getting mind blowing sex from extraordinary women such as yourself... pity him, its not his fault!!

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks shortypam. I did consider it, yes. Since I'm a firecracker between the sheets. :) However, this was a complete coinkedink. And that's the mindfuck right there...