Thursday, August 31, 2006

94 splendour

Last night was awesome. I got to dine with a 94-year old lady. She lives in an area called Killarney Hills. It’s in the hills above Killarney. (Who knew there were hills above Killarney?)

This old dear has been living here since 1978, and is a family friend of Ramone Allones. She’s incredible. She doesn’t look, speak or adhere to a day older than 60, and is an abosolute gas. The cook is currently having a hip replacement, so the butler had to cook us dinner. Her Audi A8 and Rolls Royce are sitting in the garage, while she told us about her life, her husband, her honeymoon in Fiji, her not wearing a brassiere, and drank muchos wine with us.

I was duly impressed.

If I get to live half her age, do half of what she’s done, be half as happy, be half as healthy, I would’ve done well. A bloody good dinner, with Ramone’s Bollinger champagne magnum and lots of Shiraz in tow.
I’ve arranged to visit her for tea sometime. We’ll chat about the Ponte building, which is seen from her dining room window, as well as Commissioner Street during the shanty town days, and bling jewellery. (She loves bling: but hers is well more De Beers than mine.)

On another note, it’s been almost 2 years since I started blogging. Readers from around the world have helped me find perspective in broken relationships, bad hangovers, revelling when I am in love and having great sex, to when I am depressed, or have an interesting encounter. And most of the time, my line: I am unapologetically crass about my overly-dramatic, binge drinking, socialite, shoe-loving and sex adoring behaviour that should otherwise be clandestine has not diverged from the truth.

My blog has got me into heaps of trouble, has won me awards (astoundingly), has won me readers, has caused controversy, and thus even so, I so enjoying writing shit about nothing everyday. But one has to constantly evolve, and change with the times, and, although not unlike my above line, I am now:

PEAS ON TOAST: Writing is how I deal with life. Not everybody is going to like it. I usually feel bad about bitching a day later. But hell, if it doesn't make me feel better at the time.

In other news, I had a little reminisce before dinner. Ex S was the only guy I ever considered marrying, at some point anyway. Although it was clearly wrong, I’ve only ever thought about marriage with only one other half: and that was Ex S. Why I pondered this, is beyond me, but I suppose it comes from the over-analysis of being single. Since I’m willing to buy a cat right about now, at least one is comforted in the knowledge that one knows the option could’ve been there. You know, so it’s not like it ever wasn’t. That’s nice to know. I suppose.

43 comments:

kyknoord said...

I like the new slogan. It says "evolution" rather than "revolution", which is good, because evolution involves a lot more sex and a lot fewer guillotines than revolution.

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Kyk. Yeah, let's be honest: guillotining isn't in any way kinky. Or not on this site anyway. ;)

Daedalus said...

Pops,
I have nothing to say and I'm going to say it more than once. ;)

Jam said...

I've always thought it sad that we don't value older people - rather, we tend to write them off. This sounds like an extraordinary 94 year old and I hope I am that full of stories some day too.
Well done on keeping your blog up for two years - it's not an easy thing to do.
Get a cat. It's a vast improvement on marriage.

Peas on Toast said...

Daedalus - ok dude. ;)

Jam - I emailed The Ant and asked her whether I could in fact get a cat. I don't even like cats, but I suppose it's the natural progression of things. She said no because she's allergic. I don't know whether to be relieved or go for another guinea pig instead.

Daedalus said...

Peas ... I C peas-on-toast is becoming a good source for new nick names. I simply have to say something, anything, or nothing to get a new cute-name-a-day assigned to me hahah...

Nah.., honestly good post. I like your observations on the old lady ;)

Do not concern yourself too much with those that your blog offend, there are many of us that enjoy our little stop here once or twice a day.

"Good things can not be all things to all people". ;)

-D

J.M said...

Peas darling why dont you just buy a dog? You can call it "Stay".

Imagine how you could confuse guests when you called him.....

"Come, stay... come stay"


OK nevermind, just a thought.

Tony Hawk said...

Where the fuck in the world is Clangers Langerman?

Peas on Toast said...

Daedalus - thanks my dear. I realise that too. ;)

JM - I would LOVE a dog. Love dogs, but we don't have our own garden. Cool name though. :)

Peas on Toast said...

Tony Hawk - beg pardon?

J.M said...

Peas if you could get any flavoured dog what would it be?

..... "AND WAIT FOR IT" ........ what would you name it??

Peas on Toast said...

JM - Flavour? I'd get a Dobermann called Otto (German dog = German name), and a Staffie called Gloria.

Bless their little furry paws.

Lau said...

Hi Peas... Love your blog, it's the 1st thing i read when i get to work in the morning in sunny (or not)London. Just one thing, can't seem to get your archive link to open..

Peas on Toast said...

Hi Lau

Thank you! Yip, the archive link is shut on purpose I'm afraid - for various reasons.
Perhaps one day I'll open them again. When I move to Estonia or Guam. ;)

Daedalus said...

I am all for you getting your Otto ... haha! I am Dobermann fan #1 remember? - You will need a rather large space for him though. :)

Peas on Toast said...

Daedalus I think you, Jam and I are on the same page when it comes to Dobermanns. They really are the most beautiful, sleek, intelligent dogs. Love them. Once trained, that is. They don't shed hair all over the carpet, they're large and scary, and that long snout is too adorable.

I am a number one Staffie fan though. My family has had Staffies my whole life, and they're gorgeous little dogs as well.

J.M said...

Sorry Peas I meant breed. What was I thinking!!

...Ok sounds cool - Ironic having a German named watchdog guarding a Frenchies fortress. I believe you are of French origin yeah? If you get three dogs u could call them, Otto, van and Bismark.. what u say?

Now thats original ;)

Peas on Toast said...

JM - Lol, yes I'm half Frenchie. :)
But let's face it, the Frenchies couldn't protect themselves if they tried. We'll leave that to the Germans.

Perhaps a French bulldog called...Victor?

Lau said...

Damn, now what am i supposed to read when trying to look busy at my desk. I'll have to make do with work i suppose:) Have a good day!

j.m said...

ok Victor is cool but Bulldogs slobber far too much and are a sight for sore eyes.

what u wearing today peas?

Crusoe said...

Hey Peas

I'm off to London in 2 weeks for my grans 90th birthday party - crazy! She doesn't see what all the fuss is about and keeps telling me that she only wants a big party for her 100th - now that is a cool attitude.

What amazes me is that she has more of a social life than me! She is currently bouncing around a couple of boyfriends and is always out at some party. Scary when you consider that she became a mother before World War 1!!

Peas on Toast said...

JM - Black pants and a white shirt. Sorry. ;)

Crusoe - Amazing! This old dear also seemed to have a pretty hectic social life - life begins at 90, eh?

other-duke said...

don't really have much to say, but just wanted to post a comment so you know i've been here.

like the new slogan ;)

Peas on Toast said...

O-D - Thanks dollface. :)

Daedalus said...

Peas, Staffies are rather attention hungry critters – you’d better have people at home during the day if you are planning on keeping them. Dogs tend to become malicious when neglected, Staffies more so. The other alternative is to keep male and female Staffies of same age. In my experience staffie females tend to fight for attention from their human counterparts (more than other breeds do).

On a positive note about Staffies, they are really good with children. The negative with the Dobes, on the other hand, is that they are not. Dog breeds should fit the owner and household not the other way around. ;)

Peas on Toast said...

D - you're talking to a Staffie knower here my dear. They crave attention, love human company and get lonely. Which is why I cannot even consider having one at this point. But perhaps one day...

Tony Hawk said...

JM- that is bullshit. You don't own a dog. You hate them.

Revolving Credit said...

No knickers again Peas? You reaaly must remember the undies in the morning. Maybe you should leave some lacey bits in your car for those days you forget.
I can just picture someone trying to put on underwear, while fully clothed, in peak hour traffic. Nuff said.

butter said...

Peas, you talk like u will never find a guy - You are probably hot. All about timing I say, and enjoy the single times...don't over analyse it - you are only young once. Who wants to waste their time with rubbish half-hearted boyfriends, and we have all had those!ps. I want a little pig, will call it Mimi

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - shit, what is wrong with my memory? I guess undies just don't matter any more ;)

Butter - You what it is: I don't think I'll ever find someone that suits my long list of criteria. Meaning I'm settling in as a spinster. I've had more fun being single over the last couple of months than I ever thought possible, admittedly. ;)

Daedalus said...

Damn Criteria... ain't that a bummer ey :P

Peas on Toast said...

Daedalus - Hey, we all have them. Some are just longer than others. :)

Revolving Credit said...

Peas, I think you should draft a boyfriend application form listing all the criteria. Peeps can then apply on-line and the bloggers can review all the applicants and comment. It's worth a laugh at least and you may score. If not at least you're in for a good lag.

PS. To stir things up more, draft a girlfriend application as well. Lets see if the girls can beat the guys for your attention.

PPS. Hmm...entry fee

Daedalus said...

I take it you are referring to the *criteria list*? hehe...

Shortypam said...

hi peas, i like the new description very much, its very u...

i try to read your blog everyday, its the 1st thing i do in the morning when i get to college. it jus shows me that there are people out there just like me who share the same views and the same beliefs not only that i can "talk" to u, cos u make me feel better when im having a bad day... keep up the excellent work, ur doing great!!!

Champagne Heathen said...

Peas, you have to get married, otherwise how else are you going to top the old lady's honeymoon in Fiji?!? Hmm...suddenly people who get married multiple times make sense - it's all about the honeymoon!!!

[Also, keep thinking SPRING SPRING SPRING!! This 'end of winter' funk will pass soon. Gawd, it better.]

Peas on Toast said...

Daedalus - perhaps in a couple of months. I'm having too much fun at the moment to meet someone who actually has all those criteria ;)

Shorty - thanks my darling. I love you back. xmwah!x. It's so nice to know you read this dribble everyday, trust me!

Champs - babe, I'm planning on going on my own honesymoon. Alone. Have to set a date - and then boof as many exotic men on the trip as possible. :)

Daedalus said...

StukkendeErtjieOpRoosterBrood,

I was actually playing on the non-intended pun in your previous comment:

Daedalus said...
“Damn Criteria... ain't that a bummer ey :P”

Peas said...
“Daedalus - Hey, we all have them. Some are just longer than others. :)”

Daedalus said...
“I take it you are referring to the *criteria list*? hehe...”


What are you on about "perhaps in a couple of months"? ... errrr...

Methinx you mis-read me and Revolving Credit :) (see above..)

CJ said...

Hey hey, first comment, so take it or leave it! Dont stress about the marriage question, have asked myself that many a time, overrated...

ps. I have a new cat
pps. Wore a crisp white shirt out to dinner last night and it does make you feel more posh...

Antoine said...

In order to evolve, you need to have reacted to past circumstances and learnt from them.

Methinks you squeeked in young Peas

guppa said...

peasy,
what an incredible women- i have no doubt your life will be just a full....well, if you make it through your 20's!
i kinda preferred your old 'jingle', about being unapologetically crass. This new one seems to almost have an apologetic sense to it.... then again it brings across 'writing is your release- and no one will stand in the way' of that. my two cents

Peas on Toast said...

CJ - Thanks china. And you can never go wrong with a crisp white shirt. ;)

Guppa - thanks sweetie. I thougth about the unapologetically crass thing. But I have publically apologised way toomany times for pouring m heart out that it has become redundant. Still, perhaps when I get to that stage when I really don't give a shit...

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