Thursday, August 17, 2006


Last night was pretty emotional.

Ex S came round, after the initial months of playing Your Stuff My Stuff, we have got over ourselves and finally sorted out what belongs to whom. We don’t even fight anymore, we talk. This is an amazing constitution, you understand. Ex S and I have come a long way. Yet it still makes me sad, since he was my 5-year long relationship that unravelled by the end.
Ex S hates coming to our apartment, for obvious reasons, yet he came by last night to pick up his remaining pieces of furniture to move into his new place.
The Ant and I helped load it into his car, as rain dropped on us. It was hard, and I must say I felt completely flat after that. Flat and immovable, to be precise.
He’s moving into a flat down the road in Melrose with a mate.

I even drank a beer. I don’t drink beer unless I’m in Belgium or Germany.

I suppose this is life. It’s hard, and when things get better in one arena, suddenly something bad happens elsewhere. Ex S and I being where we are today is something amazingly good. A couple of months ago we found it hard to be in the same room as each other. And in my trivial little existence, things change like this on a day-to-day basis. It all has to end up somewhere, right?

Everything that happens, no matter how small, has to contribute to a bigger (and perhaps better) picture in the end. If life has a purpose, and it has to have purpose - I cling to that like e.coli clings to a Shoprite 3-day old steak – I know I will understand all that’s happened in my life when I look back.

OK enough with the philosophical mutterings already. Sheesh. I’m going out tonight in a fit of Midweek Madness to get whoringly hammered.


Anonymous said...

Hey Queen pea

Knowing why things happen,mmm not sure about that. Still trying to work out why my ex did all those things to hurt me. They just dont seem to leave your life. I did the friends thing with the ex and its just not good for the soul yet I feel like he is still with me in my new relationship. A reminder at every fight, or potential fight.The only constant is change.

Peas on Toast said...

Hi Anon

Yes Ex S and I have been through our ups and downs over the last couple of months, for sure. Times when we can see each other, times when we can't. It's hard to find a balance. But I've realised you can find one. And Ex S of late has been a huge support system to me. Huge. And I'm pretty lucky. But you're right, the only constant is change.

Anonymous said...

Queen pea

Think we share the same heart today. And I usually love weather like this. Ha ha have you seen the weatherman, shit movie but a scene in the movie where the father tells his son about camel toes. Oh so funny

Anonymous said...

Peas on TOAST? Odd concept

I thought I should let you know that a certain Joey Miller is going through the same thing as you girls but has an intersting males point of view about it. I hope he adds something to this blog.. go visit Joey on

I agree that the only constant is change!

Jam said...

It's a mantra: Change is good. Without change, we would still be walking around in nappies. But change is also tough, and my heart really goes out to you on this one.
I still cannot be anywhere my ex, and sometimes I wonder if I will ever be able to. I think you are extraordinarily lucky to be able to build a friendship with someone who meant so much to you for so long.

Jam said...

(that was meant to read: anywhere near my ex)

Anonymous said...

Hey queen pea

Checked out the website,"Has my main man Joey found cyberlove, a companion perhaps, equally willing to “reveal all” "

How cool is that:)

kyknoord said...

"Midweek Madness"? Well, at least some things don't change ;-)

Somali said...

Hey Peas,

I received this in an e-mail this morning written by an anonymous person...

Be afraid your life will never begin

As we grow up we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.

You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

- Anonymous -

Ok enough with the emotional part... have a blast tonight!!

Anonymous said...

Is it that you (ex's) can't be around Ex's purely cause of sexual reasons? I know it's tough being around the Ex because their is HISTORY, but it all boils down to new partners and thinking about the past and your sexual encounters doesn't it?

Tyler said...

Bwhahahaha. Anonymous (above) needs to get laid soooooon.
Good luck Westie with your new housemate!
Peas: So glad to hear you and ExS have sorted it our for the best. You kids are both VERY stubborn - but have genuine, good hearts and it's cool knowing both of you. I'm feeling all mushy now. Bless =)

Revolving Credit said...

Ok, exactly how many anonymous's have we got here today - they seem to be out in force?
Somali is even quoting one of them.

Peazle, good luck with getting whoringly hammered, or possibly hammered like a whore - whatever tickles your..umm..fancy.

Anonymous said...

Love your site girls! some heated debates and points of view I see.. Can I find out the reason for this break up and hence the CHANGE??

Antoine said...

The ability to be mates with your Ex is (to me) a sign of maturity.

When people are in a relationship they are (should be) best friends. Just because you stop shagging does not mean you lose a best friend.

Peas on Toast said...

Hi Guys!

Woah - I'm out the office for 3 hours, and suddenly I have five thousand anons, and all my other favourite readers commenting! Love it!

On everybody's questions:
I'm going to check out Nadoes now. :)
Jam - I knew you'd understand.
Tyler - who are you dear? Ex S and I were trying to work that out. Email me?
The Anon who wrote 'love this site girls!' There's only one girl mate, and that's me. :) We broke up for a number of reasons, mainly we grew apart.
Antoine - thanks. Yes we like to think we're mature. :)
Kyk - eaxctly - throughout change, I can always go and get drunk. :)

Anonymous said...

Queen pea

So what did you think? What does it feel like to come back and found out you have a cyber guy that is telling all his cyber friend how cool you are:)

Hey is that a picture of you?

Peas on Toast said...

It's fabulous...yet I'm confused...I can't find the post that says that, or a pic of myself. Could you give me the direct link? I think I'm looking in the wrong place!

After the press fiasco this week, I could do with an ego boost. I like this Joey already. ;)

Anonymous said...

Queen pea
you on the first page, picture with your back turned, brown hair.

Peas on Toast said...

I think there's something wrong with my Mac. Again.
I went on and I haven't seen anything written or a pic involving me or Joey's affiliation with this site.
Hmmm. Will try again.

Anonymous said...

Queen pea, you need to go to Joeys column.

Mushy Peas on toast” – Joey touched by journalist’s natural “flair”!!

You sitting at your desk at work, a small bout of the flu coming on.. probably a bit bored.. ja the 2oceansvibe site has’nt been updated for days… aaah what’s this you then ask yourself? Has my main man Joey found cyberlove, a companion perhaps, equally willing to “reveal all” for the benifit of those interested enough to listen. Well half right people, check this crazy blog site out, it’s really awesome.. I like the babies style. Her name is Peas on toast, I doubt it’s her real name but she’s 25 and writes about (in her own words) Hook-ups, break-ups, fuck-ups and cover-ups – “I cause my own chaos”. Well before I tell you too much go take a read for yourself and lets get your thoughts on this original site.

Email Joey

Revolving Credit said...

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - ok got it! Finally! I clicked onto 'Joey's Column'.
Bless, that is rather freaking sweet!
(Thanks Joey)
It isn't a pic of me, no. But he has the long, brown hair bit right. :)

Thanks Joe, you've made my trivial little day.

Another interesting bit of trvia chaps - go to A whole bunch of SA bloggers, including myself, have contributed to a music post: What is blowing our hair back at the moment. Take a lookie.

Anonymous said...

mushy mushy pea

Sad to hear of your break up, still how did you grow apart? someone else said something wise "Best Friends" dont just stop being friends cause they are not shagging! Then why I ask the odd feeling when being in each others presence?

Confused Muel

Anonymous said...

Who is this Joey guy? Think he has a little something for out SWEET PEA on toast!! :) Hope you can handle her Joey..

Tyler said...

Hola Peas!
I promise never to piss on ExS's car ever again. =)
My alter-ego has been re-incarnated at

Don said...

Hehe. Enjoy your nite, we're doing it tomorrow at Manhattans.

Peas on Toast said...

Confused Muel - it was a lot of things. Growing apart was one of the factors. And we weren't best friends to start with trust me. We've been broken up now for almost 11 months, so alots happened between now and then, including both of us being in other relationships.

Anon - :) I wonder if he could handle me? I know I'm intimidating at times...

Tyler - ha ha! We thought so! If you piss on his A3, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be cool with it. :) Why 'Tyler' btw?

Don - we'll probably end up there too. We usually do, even if we dont want to. See you there, probably. ;)

Tyler said...


The first rule of fight club is...

Joey said...

Hiya, well some entertaining reading... aaah, love, relationships, emotions...well emotions after all are not sane, they exist & control you outside the realms of scientific or logical explanation & they cause you to do irrational things and act irrationally despite what you KNOW to be right & wrong. Fascinating things can all works out in the end you just have to believe it.. thought Id poke my head in and say hi :) love your work sweet pea. Joey Miller

Peas on Toast said...

Tyler - ok Brad Pitt :)

Joey - thanks my dear, I hope so too. ;)