Friday, August 25, 2006

dia-thialogues

Three memorable conversations over the last 2 days:

Ant: Why’d you leave a missed call on my phone?
3RM: We needed chocolate.
Peas: What did you say?
Ant: Why’d you leave me a miss call?
Peas: Is that what you asked me?
Ant: Yes.
Peas: What did you ask again?
3RM: But where’s our chocolate?
Ant: I told you I didn’t answer my phone.
Peas: Huh?
Ant: Huh?
3RM: But wait…where’s the chocolate?
Peas: She did answer her phone, didn’t she?
Ant: No….I said I didn’t.
Peas: Then what’s going on?
3RM: I forget.
Ant: What the fuck is wrong with you two?
Peas: Huh?
3RM: I don’t know what’s going on.
Ant: Clearly.
3RM: Want some pot?
Peas: Did someone say chocolate?
Ant: No. No chocolate. Didn’t. Bring. Fucking. Chocolate.
Peas: What chocolate? Oooh I feel like chocolate.
3RM: Did she bring chocolate?

The fact I remember this conversation two days later is somewhat miraculous. And, kids, pot makes you thick.

Overheard on the street, between the bank and Rosebank Mall yesterday:

Girl: Well fuck you. I saw you dancing with her, what do you take me for, something STUPID?
Boy: Well yes, because you are stupid.
Girl: You need to emigrate.
Boy: I am planning on it. Like tomorrow. Watch me, lady, watch me walk to Flite Centre right now!
Girl: I’m watching, start walking asshole! As long as you there and I’m here, that’s just. Fine. With. Me.
Boy: Good.
Girl: You’re a fucker.
Boy: So are you.
Girl: That’s not possible, because you’re the biggest fucker in the whole world.
Boy: See? I’m walking [walking backwards into a potplant], I’m walking!

I was embarrassed, as I walked almost straight through this, (“Terribly sorry, excuse me”) But four things:
1) Hells bells relationships are hard work.
2) Never argue in an open street, nevertheless.
3) I bet he not only danced with her, he boofed her too.
4) They didn’t look drunk. You mainly hear this outside clubs at 3:00am, (read Joblog), but they were well sober.

At drinks with C and Jack Rock last night at a Sandton pub, when:

Mandog Guy: [walks up to our table] Hey! You were the girl I had a three hour chat with about politics like two weeks ago. At Manhattan. Then you went and lost your wallet.
Peas: Um, hi!
Mandog Guy: You find your wallet?
Peas: Yip, my mate did in fact. After I’d cancelled my cards.
Mandog Guy: So can I give you my number now?
Peas: I don’t take guy’s numbers, sorry. I just don’t do that ‘phone-guy-first’ thing.
Mandog Guy: Well let me take yours then.
Peas: OK, why not? [Give him my number.]
Mandog Guy: Cool, well see you around.
Peas: Cool.

Then I went home. After conversations involving sex and religion, I did what any normal girl would do:
I wanked proper.

Happy Thursdays! (Well, I’M smiling.)

38 comments:

C said...

oh my word, the giggles never end!You are such a card!

crusoe said...

The best 'couples' fights to watch are the ones where one or both parties vent their rage on helpless inanimate objects.

It's like, "dude, it wasn't your car door that screwed your best friend" :)

Daytripper said...

so, the million dollar question is: When does Mandog call?

and the corollary questions are:
How soon is not cool?
How long is not interested enough?
What is the correct time interval for following up on getting a number?

I must admit, I tend to do it the next day... well, I did!

Sunchaser said...

Those are always the coolest fights to watch - private soap opera styling! And the acronym for PeasOnToast is....

Champagne Heathen said...

I reckon a next day phone call is the best. Any later than that and you seem like a game player who is following Playing rules. Next day means you're interested and you're a decent guy who sticks by his word.

I've had a public couple fight. Great fun & I could see it was much to the amusement of the clientele at the Parisian bar - the French just bring it out in you. Eventually the massive Russian bouncer told us to cool down. So little me had a go at him too in bad french. Good times.

Anonymous said...

Hey Miss Peas ... would "a Sondaton pub" be the cafe of news by any chance ?

Third World Ant said...

The most memorable overheard conversations are when people are speaking in another language and they think you can't understand them: it was how my Dad met my Mom, after all - asks in English for a lift home, my Gran says to my Mom in Italian "Let's give this poor golliwog weirdo a lift home. Some men are just so odd, I hope you never date anyone like that." My Dad said nothing all the way home, but thanked my Gran in Italian for the lift!

ps: Thanks babe for the really flattering Ant-punt yesterday, I blushed profusely :)

Anonymous said...

Oh - and by "Sondaton" I obviously meant "Sandton" ... clearly I didn't go home early enough !!!

Jam said...

Mmm. Someone did say chocolate. Must be the weather.
Calling someone the day after getting their phone number can be a little intimidating. I usually stall is this happens...well, I stalled.

other-duke said...

Peas - classic, trialogues are the best, esp when goofed and noone knows whats going on :)

Daytripper - the age old dilemma. i've called the next day and after 2 days, and i'm still single.. not to mention getting Michael Naiker and some weird guy the second time. Next time i'm asking for her phone and scotching mine!!

Jack Rock said...

"Jack Rock"?? Fuck me that's funny!

Anonymous said...

Why must you always be so vulgar?

3rm said...

it's prerequisite for commenting here

Peas on Toast said...

C - no babe, YOU'RE the card around here doll face. :)

Crusoe - wahaha! "Dude that flowerpot didn't shag your wife!"

Daytripper - the next day is fine, but I'm not expecting it. Give it five days and I've forgotten who he is, if not contact has been made.

Sunchaser - tooshay.;)

Champs - I've had a-plenty outdoor couple arguments as well: however 90% of the time we'd both been boozing.

Anon - the Sandton pub might've been, but also might not have been the news cafe. ;) (Are you stalking me?) ;)

Ant - I love that story! Bless your Itie parents, bless them!

Jam - the next day can be hectic, depending on when the next day. The next night works well. Hmmm. Chocolate?

other-duke - I still feel rather stupid today. :)

Jack Rock - love your name, guy, love it. :)

Anon - Wht am I always so vulgar? To attract idiots like you to my site.

Anonymous said...

Maybe I am stalking you ... maybe not ... Everyone needs a stalker from time to time !!! Was actually just having a quiet drink with a mate (which ended up being NOT AT ALL quiet). It was Wednesday after all, and thats as good a reason as any to be out !!

Antoine said...

Wednesdays must be a general wank day .....

kyknoord said...

Very funny, Peas. You gave him my number, didn't you? I am so gonna get you for this.

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - you were watching me weren't you, cheeky! Over your beer glass!

Antoine - I trust you had a good sesh last night then? ;)

Kyk - You've got me. I gave him your number - please forgive me, last time it was Moogs, this time it was you. Terribly sorry Kyk. :)

Tamaryn said...

It would indeed be a happy thursday if I wasn't so sick...Have taken the day off, in fact....

I love public fights, my best guy friend and I have 'lover's tiffs' in public all the time...jsut to see people's reactions... And then fall over laughing..

It might be childish, but it's funny...

Anonymous said...

"watching you over my beer glass" - and how exactly did you know that I was drinking beer?? Now who was watching who ????? Glad you noticed though ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Tamaryn - that is hilarious! 3RM, you and I have to try that one day. ;)

Anon - I'm assuming you're a guy. Guys drink beer on most occasions right? But you're onto me: I'm stalking you invisible Anonymous guy, I'm stalking you. :)

(But it's cool, since you're stalking me too.;)

Butter said...

anon, u sound like u from the Rhodes type?

Anonymous said...

Rhodes type ... nah. Not quite. Far classier than that - Stellies all the way ! Although many a rhodes trip was made to have a few at the rat !!!

Shortypam said...

thats fooking hilarious... but seriously how on earth did u manage to rember all those conversations?
i can barley remember what i had 4 breakfast... wait.. i lie i had coffee... well there goes that theory..

Billy said...

Yes Peas, must you be so fucking vulgar? You wanker!

Love it!

Happy Thursday babe.

im on about 45mins sleep without a hangver, i love my litle daughter but really, we have to find a way to swop day and night in her beautiful little mind!

Crusoe said...

Peas - me thinks your past lives contain an obliterated flowerpot or two! Just remember that punching a wall only leads to broken knuckles and laughter. Trust me! Oh, and smashing your cell phone into the ground because your car broke down only leads to worn out shoes ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Shorty - I've smoked a wee bit of pot in my time, but somehow I still have the memory of an elephant when it comes to these things. Strangely.

Billy - those night time feeds, eh? Please post some more pics on your blog Bill, I'd love to see!

Crusoe - I've smashed a glass here or there....

Revolving Credit said...

Bring whole new meaning to Pot-ty mouth....hahahahaha!!

Peas on Toast said...

Correct. :)

Anonymous said...

Eish, this week is slow. Really got to have more mid week public holidays. Peas, weekend plans. Where are the crass, takkie squeaking, life of the party type venturing?

Anon13

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - If I told you, you might stalk me. :)

But chances are, the usual sort of places, probably barring Manhattan. Done that too many times recently. But you never know. ;)

Anonymous said...

Sorry to disappoint in the stalker ranks but its not my game. I prefer the physical contact. That said, I am not the same Anon as before. Refer to me from this point forward as Anon13. I have no energy to sign up to create a name or even think of something creative!

Anonymous said...

Oh, and Manhattan is so on the cards for tomorrow night! Sorry to hear you won't be joining! A certain Misty-Midlands-Natal-Girls-School old student is having (its amazing how often I type ahving when trying to type this) a big birthday razzle there. Going to be a rip!

Anon 13!

Peas on Toast said...

Awesome Anon 13. I don't have any stuck plans as yet, which is gratifying for once, but I'll see where the night takes me.

I'm trying to drag 3RM there, since he's willing to try just about anything once. But we'll see.

Anonymous said...

Nice work. Don't be scared of the Hat. He won't harm you. Don't be shy. Just come say hello, give it a little rub and things will happen! There is a reason we've spent more time there than visiting Gran in the old age home, it's ALWAYS insanely fun!

Shortypam said...

hey hows the rwearing diet going peas?

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - I'm always petrified of the Hat, and for good reason my friend! :)

Shorty - it's fucking going nowhere, my swearing diet. Lasted 24 hours though, as I imagined. ;)

Shortypam said...

well i was sorta thinking of that and being the sadist that i am, im goona suggest one of those dog collars that zap them with an electrical shock when they bark, now u can adjust it to zap u everytime u swear... would that work?...

ps.. i really gotta start using spell check...