mate puntage

Right, behold the shameless puntage of my mates. We’re kind of a crazy, completely intimidating bunch of people, and some of us think we’re still in first year varsity (myself included). However, they’re such a big part of my life – especially of late – that it is only apt that I elaborate on them.

C
I’ve known Infectious Giggle C since school, boarding together in the same house, and at varsity. C, also known as Poen, is completely lovable. Everybody loves The C. It’s that mixture of Free State farm girl, added to a healthy dose of city girl slick, and a very cheeky sense of humour. C and I never stop giggling, ever. And we’re always out on the town, painting it luminous, obnoxiously-bright red, and our downtime consists of a mellow glass of vino at my flat after work. She’s always up for a party, has been there for me through thick and thin, and we think we’re hilarious. Naturally.

C2
C2 have known each since school, since varsity, and we backpacked around Europe together during our gap year. Left 18-year old destruction in our wake. We had an competition, where on each new location, we’d tally up how many nationalities we could snog. We ran out of money on the Corsica leg, slept in dodgy train stations, spent a week solid hammered on ouzo in Greece, met the rich and famous in Cannes. I pipped her on the snoggathon just by one, having met a Monte Carlon in Nice, (who was…pretty gross…if I remember correctly), although that said, she did kiss more than one Dutch guy. We come from very similar backgrounds, and have always been at the periphery of each other’s lives in some way over the years.

Doc
Although Doc and I both went to UCT, we didn’t know each other. We met properly two years ago and have been mates ever since. Painting the town red, drinking gin and tonics in his garden, him taking his clothes off on most drunken occasions. And us hanging his doondies off the side of the Jolly Roger, where random drive-by jock spottings ensued for 5 weeks. He left to go on secondment to India recently, and it’s like my left foot is missing. He’s a lovely mix of profound creativity, mixed in with a dash of business demeanour, flairy debonair and outrageous fun. We’ve helped each other though break-ups, given advice as to hook-ups, as well as shared our writing and life plans. A very talented golfer. Chicks love him.

E
E I have also known since school and UCT. E is a very sophisticated, social creature that speaks her mind and manages to always be life of the party nevertheless. E coined The Fitzy. That’s what she drinks, and even a pub in Southbroom has named their vodka, cola tonic and water after E’s The Fitzy. We always drink Fitzy’s in her honour. She also rides horses like a demon, and when me, C and E get together, we’re always giggling, running around causing chaos, or organising chick nights revolving around great food. At our book club fuckaware evening, (beg pardon, fudgaware evening), we went to Tiger Tiger dressed like hookers, suspenders and all. We bought a lot of stuff, piled it into her boot. Had we been stopped by the coppers, we totally would’ve spent the night in the slammer.

E2
E2 hates being called E2, because she thinks it’s second best. That said, this list is in no preferential order before anyone gets uptight. E2 is the adorable flamboyantly dressed, devilish and charming and just wonderfully fantastic chick everybody wants to know. I met her in first year in res – she lived directly above me – and our parties just merged, basically, between floor levels. We both grew an unhealthy obsession with one of our lecturers, and so were pretty much the only lectures we attended in second year, sitting in the front row, staring at his face. We’ve driven around Cape Town as high as kites, made movies together in film classes, become Goldfish groupies following them everywhere, discovered dodgy shopping venues places in Joburg CBD, had incredible parties together and shared sex advice. Love her.

Moogs
Shmoogles and I hit it off when we worked in the US at the same ski resort. Doc, Moogs and I were The Gang. The coolest best guy friends a girl could have. Moogs, although sometimes unreliable and forgetful, is an honest, hilariously funny dude. The brother I never had. He gives everything to his relationships, which he is doing now, and although I don’t see him so much anymore, I’ll always have time for and be extremely fond of him. We’ve run around Vanderbijlpark together on Vaal weekends, ripped it up on copious occasions, we’ve seen each other in our doondies and don’t even notice anymore. Come to the push, I know we’ll always be there for each other.

N
Also known The N since varsity. N has a quick tongue, and her one liners always have us on the floor. N and I once jammed, pissed of course, to my keyboard accompaniment backgrounds in my room for a full day at varsity. While I played Born Free over and over again. Don’t ask. N is a fiercely loyal friend, who is always there for somebody no matter what. Also knows how to have a good party, even if it means she leaves her exhaust pipe chilling on the pavement after a good evening out. She’s just returned from Argentina, with a fresh vision on life, after seeing the world with new eyes. We call each other an endearing nickname, which I shan’t mention. (It’s worse than Poen.)

The Dove
We first jammed at varsity, sharing intense writing plans, cruising up and down Long Street any time of the day. We both manage to find something small to laugh about anywhere, anytime. Like a stupid talking mug, which we laughed about for three hours recently. We manage to fuel each other's creativity, and her mind is always teeming with ideas. She has a wicked sense of humour and always means what she says, and says what she means.

Third Roommate
What can I say about my little Vasco da Gama that hasn’t been said here before. I met him through The Ant, and since she moved in, he practically moved in too. Vasco is, despite his Portuguese-skinned, don’t-fuck-with-me persona, and his smart ass attitude (he’s allowed, the guy is a genius, with an IQ of 146), is a little marshmallow inside of the crusty exterior. He uses gangster language so eloquently, you just can’t help but wanna talk like him, safe. At the minute. It’s well fun. He makes friends in strange places, one being our security guard Lucas who loves his little pants off. He knows how to have a good giggle, yet speak his mind. Even if we don’t always enjoy that. He’s also been a great support to me over the last couple of months.

Third World Ant
There is so much to say about my completely adorable flat mate, but you’d be here all day. The Ant and I were colleagues at our first job, both as reporters. She was crazy, I was crazy, it was love at first sight. She moved in with me on Ex S’ departure last year November. And we’re a very happy couple, even if our apartment always looks like a bomb hit it. The Ant is big into community service, and thus makes an incredible shrink. She is never anything but honest. I think she works way too hard, what with an 18 hour a day job, teaching science to students in Alexandra, heading up her Italian Society, and more. We’ve cried together, laughed uproariously together, done the whole of Joburg together – Westcliff to Hillbrow. She also has seen my boyfriends and one nighters leave the apartment, even if I do try to sneak them out. Adore her.

These are my best friends. There are still many other people that have come into my life recently, or have been part of my life and live in far-off places, or I see less of, that are completely worthy of mention.

You all know who you are.

If I forget someone, I’ll be in trouble. However, everyone I fraternise with are all individually amazing, and life would be a very boring, sad affair indeed without them. I love you all so much.