Saturday, August 19, 2006

dinner, inventions, chow dockie

Went to a dinner at E’s place last night with the chicks. The girl really does do a jolly good job in the kitchen, corporate goddess she is.

I took note of various innovations during the evening. Some oblivious sod, or maybe sod is not the right word, some oblivious prodigy invented a cutting board drainage system for instance. My bread board doesn’t have one, but E’s certainly has. Just a simple little trough that surrounds a board, so when you cut tomatoes, all the iffy, pippy juices drain into the area, and when you scrape it into a bowl, you don’t mess over your lovely self.
It’s like the man who invented the Pet Rock ®, except actually useful. And the drainage-board engineering guy’s name is probably Herbert, not Dwayne.

Another fantastic invention is the woman behind the Clinique range. Specifically, the Clinique make-up range, because anyone with a partiality to toner and soap can make, well, toner and soap. But the make-up range. It’s something else. Mascara that stays on all night, yet isn’t the equivalent of engine grease to wash off. Foundation that actually stays on your face and doesn’t slide off after a couple of hours. (Although after a night boogieing, it does shift slowly down my face, but then I am jumping around everywhere.)
The lipstick is soft and almost eatable. I mean how many times I stare at my lipstick and want to just impulsively bite the end off, I fail to count.

Soap on a rope. I bet that guy is sitting on a catamaran somewhere.
Sandwiches. Someone banged two slices of bread together, stuck a piece of cheese in the middle and announced it a sandwich.

That aside, E does entertain a great dinner party.

Doc goes back to India (again!) today. With new visa. It’s been great having him around, especially over the last two very trying weeks. He’s managed to slip back into the swing of Johannesburg and all it’s people and places like a glove. Keep in touch Doc. You’re the best, I adore you to bits. Now go find yourself a Bollywood bride my friend, you little beefcake you. Pity you won’t be able to give us guidance as to quality control tonight m’dear. Fly safe.

50 comments:

Don said...

You need a new breadboard.

Peas on Toast said...

I do. This breadboard was magic.
:)

totally cooked said...

I need a new car - I'm still hung up on the quality time you spent with the A3 - I was once, 20 000 kms ago the proud driver of an A3 3.2 with DSG - man I loved that car - still blow kisses if I see one - dilly husband has the new RS4, nice enough but still a sedan and NOT THE SAME!! Now I drive a Jazz not the same person any more

Peas on Toast said...

Totally cooked - I'm with you on the sedan/it has a boot thing. It's just not the same. Did I mention that the A3 was brand spanking new, had only a couple of hundred on the clock and smelt of fresh leather?

Sigh. And we had to give it back....

Champagne Heathen said...

Peas, are you about to be sponsored by a particular make-up brand? Almost seemed like some product placement there ;o) I know you have tried with various airlines/ alcoholic drinks etc. and was wondering if any company finally was persuaded.

kyknoord said...

I reckon soap-on-a-rope was invented by a guy serving a life sentence in prison.

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - surprisingly, and sadly, no. That was free advertising for Clinique, shameful punting. But I'm cool like that, see. :)

If they want to send me free lipsticks though, I'd probably accept. Probably.

;)

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - LOL! Let's hope the rope never breaks. ;)

Rays said...

So Peas - what type of Clinique foundation do you use? I've never tried Clinique (M.A.C. girl) but would like to give it a go!

Shortypam said...

forget u needing a new breadboard, i think what all we ladies need is a cute and sexy naked master chef in our kitchens, think wentworth miller (prison break) looka like wearin nothing but an apron in our kitchens cooking up delicious(and healthy) food.

Jam said...

Haha. I am a clinique girl myself. And yes, the foundation remains on your face.
I want one of those bread boards - did she hint at where she got it from?

Peas on Toast said...

Rays - I use the All Day Lasting fuondation, the one in the plastic bottle, bot the glass bottle. It just...blends so nicely. :)
Haven't tried too many MAC products, but I hear it's hot stuff as well.

Champs - Wentie in an apron. Fuck the snoggathon, I want Wentie! :)

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - probably Boardman's or something. Apparently drainage boards are so, like since 1994. :) Who knew?
Another Clinique girl - fantastic taste you have dear Jam.

Antoine said...

There are definite pointers that God is a man.

The fact that guys are not required to put huge amounts of "sploodge" on their faces to shine is yet another one

*smile*

Jam said...

As do you, Dear Peas.

other-duke said...

I have a breadboard, with the trough, it's brilliant!!

hold on just one second! the A3 is very nice, yes, but i suggest taking the yellow Lambo for a spin before you talk about wanting to shag it ;)

Joey Miller said...

Sweetie Pea.. firstly,((happy friday)) .. well my friends dad invented a small roller ball that's used for feet circulation on International flights. Fits with a "band like thingy" under your foot and you basically use it to massage your feet whilst sitting on ur ass for hours on end. You will see it in them hamper baggies together with your toofie paste and stuff on all international flights in a few months time. Hold your breath baby!! Im holding mine.

Peas on Toast said...

Antoine - what you boys don't realise is that 'putting one's face on' is a ritual all in it's own, my friend. I'm telling you, you're missing out! :)

Jam - why shpank you. :)

Other-duke - Lambo Shmambo. Look I wouldn't say no if one was found with my name on it, on my doorstep, but I am still fantasising shamefully over that A3. ;)

Joey - that's incredible! Very cool idea! Have you patented it? There're people out there that'll steal your idea you know. Deep vein thrombosis and squashed feet are a thing of the past - well between say Heathrow and JHB International that is. :)

other-duke said...

Fair enough.

Speaking of A3s, have you seen the new 2007 Audi S3. Very shaggable!

http://www.jalopnik.com/cars/news/hearty-hatch-audi-reveals-2007-s3-191162.php

Joey Miller said...

.. he sure has. Yes Deep vein thrombosis, thats what I was after.. Dont you love foot massages!! It's whacky Friday...describe "your" feet peas. Im interested.

Peas on Toast said...

Other-duke - very, very nice! :)

Joey - 'describe your feet Peas?' Not another foot fetishist Joey, please tell me no! My feet are ugly. I did ballet, so I have hammer toes, and, and...they're furry on the top cos I got hold of my mum's razor as a kid. Doesn't that paint a pretty picture?

Anonymous said...

Hmm very spankable other-duke!

Audi's kick ass. Thats final.

Joey Miller said...

ha nope, Im not the foot fetish type, feet are for driving cars.. not so other-duke?!

My friend "Wildman" is obsessed with feet. Womans feet that is, I dont see the whole point, there are far more beautifull things when it comes to a womans body. Hands are interseting. A smile goes a long way. I find long hair positive. (brown preferably!)

What say you Sweetpea?

Third World Ant said...

Dude, I thought I saw you spending just a leeeetle bit more time putting cream / foundation on your face this morning - like you were analysing its effects or something. Your post confirms that hypothesis!

Would never stray from my Roc/Kanebo/Neutrogena ritual, either...

Peas on Toast said...

Joey - oh thank God. I think legs, smile, forearms are very important on a guy.:)

Ant - you would be right. Blending, baby, blending. :)

Suavé said...

HAHA Peas! Furry feet...like Frodo?

Peas on Toast said...

Suavie baby - we've been through this before remember? :) Yes I'm a Frodo.

Choosy said...

Beeg night ahead at 'The Manhattan', ay peas? I like to put the 'The' in front to convince myself that it's actually a classy establishment and not just another place where I've thrown my name away...Have a blast!

Joey Miller said...

Manhattan's sounds like the joll. Cape Town needs a Manhattan's!!

Peas on Toast said...

Choosy - thanks doll face. 'The Mandog' is at least one step above the Colony eh? ;)

Joey's - in all honesty, I preferred the old Tiger Tiger. It was bigger, not so squashy. But hey, where else can you throw name, shake ass and drink Jagies like there's no tomorrow?

Joey Miller said...

Yes that old Tiger spot was a hoot, went there only once..think it was ladies night... water fountains, a couple of dance floors.. Girls dressed to the max, tight tops and big forearms at every turn.. fillets, lamb chops, biltong.. a real meat market. crazy stuff!!

Suavé said...

Yeah I know. I just wanted you to say it out loud again. ROFL!!! I'm laughing with you, not at you. Pwomise Peasypoo!

Okay I wont ever mention it again. HAHAHA!!! Sowwy...

Choosy said...

Ah, Tiger...should always be pronounced Tawger Tawger in that ineffable Jozi private school accent! Luvvit.

Anonymous said...

Joey- describe your dancing style.

Peas on Toast said...

Joey - it's an absolute cattle barn. Just like the Mandog.

Suave - no offence taken, ever, my dear! People rip off my feet all the time. You just gotta laugh. :)

Choosy - you have the target market down to a tee. :)

Anon - Now don't you start this anonathon thing again. Go play outside.
:)

Joey Miller said...

Sexual healing.

Kate said...

"Pret a Manger" is a health food chain in the UK that has recently bought out the bread-less sandwich. This totally blows my mind. Surely, without the bread, it ceases to be a sandwich, right?!

other-duke said...

Joey - whatever floats your boat.

Peas on Toast said...

Kate - breadless sarmie, I'm stumped!
Perhaps they roll the fillings into a roti or something...

ATW said...

Knock knock..

Peas on Toast said...

Who's there, Wit?

ATW said...

Dwayne..

Peas on Toast said...

*sigh*... Dwayne who?
;)

ATW said...

Dwayne your bweadboard, I'm dwowning.

....Sorry all, had to get that out of my system, bit of a slow procrastinating Friday.. Enjoy the w/end all.

Peas on Toast said...

Lol, happy weekend Wit! :)

Liked your Clint Eastwood post, btw. Got any tips from Marilyn Monroe by any chance?

Choosy said...

That breadless sandwich thing is a sham - I've had one, it's basically all the fillings that one would get in a sandwich on a bed of lettuce. So basically a salad then...with a silly name.

Champagne Heathen said...

If they are talking about the breadless sandwhich even in Jo'burg then, like a camera in your phone, completely useless but a brilliant example of simple twists marketed beautifully. Sigh. We're so easy. So so easy for their mind games.

Revolving Credit said...

Breadless sandwhich, I get it - it's one of those diet promotions right.
You give them R25 and they give you a picture of a sandwich.
That way you save on carbs and they have you're dough/bread/money.

slam dunx said...

For anyone who is looking for a great take on the invention of the sandwich - have a look at Woody Allen's short story, "Yes, But Can The Steam Engine Do This?"
It's in his book Getting Even. probably been out of print for about ten years...so second hand bookstores are the place to look!

Anonymous said...

Hairy Feet?