Friday, August 11, 2006

fish and women's day

Went to a Goldfish gig in Norwood with E2, Doc, N, Forbsie and Ramone Allones. It was a good party, we all got hammered as usual, and I met the love of my life.
No but seriously. He just doesn’t know it, poor bastard.
That’s right, he’s my new boyfriend, except I’ll never see him again.

He turned around while I was doing an [embarrassing] little jig on the platform next to Goldfish, and he spoke to me for maybe five seconds, roughly after I sat on Forbsie’s shoulders and nearly bashed my koppel into the ceiling.
Love Of My Life turned around to smile at me, and the whole room disappeared. He wasn’t amazingly studly, but I was so attracted to him, perhaps as he seemed so...warm, hot, snuggly...I felt an incredible urge to pull his handsome little face towards mine in an executed lunge action. I also nearly lunged at a man who looked like a rabbi, with a long beard and everything, but let’s not go there. Doc yanked on the said beard, which went down like a lead balloon, as one can imagine. I didn’t see the love of my life again thereafter.
Sigh.
That aside, I had a staunch chat with a mate on the pavement outside. He claims Small Bum told him he broke up with me because I was looking for other men during our relationship/looking for something better/hung up over other people.
I was absolutely gobsmacked.

WHAT THE FUCK?
I think it’s plain to see and read how dedicated and loyal I was to the Small Bum cause, and how much I adored him. And still do, to a point, but am over it, because I have had no other choice but to accept his decision.

But WHAT? I have never heard such a ridiculous dribble in my life! He dumped me because He Was Just Not That Into Me. What kind of knob fobs a break-up he initiated as my doing? Good grief above. I never so much as looked at another man when I was with him. How can he say I did?

I was extremely fond of him, but seriously. This excuse of my looking elsewhere for loving is about as credible as the Serb genocide. It just doesn’t make sense. I guess he feels better and less guilty about everything if we're on good terms. I won’t be like his other girlfriends who are mates with him. I might’ve been as random and as situational, but I will not embellish this with a pseudo-friendship. Like the others did. No way. I cared about him too much for that.

The only thing I can think of is that I am friends with my ex’s. How dare he say I had something to add to the break-up because I wanted other men! When he knows fuck-well that was the polar-opposite of EVERYTHING I put on the table.

Its pants. The most absurd load of pants I’ve ever heard.
What goes through this man’s head, one wonders?

OK. Calming down, and moving right along, deep breaths. Deep breaths.
I smsed him yesterday and told the man I have two things of importance to discuss with him. This, and something else. We're meeting today after work. I'm shitting my doondies, but this has to be done.

On a better note, I spent Women’s Day picnicking with mates at Zoo Lake, playing a raucous game of dodgeball (or N’s and my version anyhow. Throw-ball-into-person’s-face.) We all sat eating ice creams, talking shit, playing chubby bunny with Ramone Allone’s 200 samoosas, and nursing our hangovers in the sun. Finishing off at Jolly with C and Doc, where I got to catch up with Moogs. And meet some British men. God I love the Poms. It was nice.

PS: I bought the Goldfish CD finally. And I haven’t stopped listening to it for the last 24 hours. It’s good shit. It’s brilliant shit, actually.

PPS: Tossing and turning the whole night last night. Insomnia of note.

26 comments:

JamesW said...

Title should read; RANTING with a bit of fish. Goldfish is pretty wicked. they play here at barazza's quite often.

Peas on Toast said...

Jimmy - yes, had a little rant-a-roonie this morning. But it's cool. I'm calming down to a panic.

And yes, aren't Goldfish the shit? Loving them!

JamesW said...

Sleeping tablets. I take prescription 'roofies' that put me out in 15min flat.

Anonymous said...

Goldfish are the bomb! Got them in to play for our company function at the beginning of the year - totally wicked!

Champagne Heathen said...

So out of interest, do you think talking to Smallbum would really resolve things? This is what I always wonder in such situations. Don't you have to rather accept that he can think & feel what he wants, and you have no control over that, but rather need to find your own way to move on? But on the other hand, it is better to 'clear the air'. I never know.

I am terrified of using anything medical to fall asleep. For me, falling asleep is often more psychological than, well, biological I guess.

Daytripper said...

Peas, while at first SB may have seemed, to the outside obsrver, nothing more harmful than a little confused, it now appears that he is a full blown wanker who has serious issues taking responsibility for his actions and is a compulsive liar. If you needed any more confirmation that you are well shot of him, you now have it. Take a can of mace with you when you meet him and let him have it!

Jam said...

I thought I saw someone bashing their head on the ceiling repeatedly. ;-)
Why didn't you pull Love Of My Life's head towards your face?
My ex has a bit of a problem remembering that everything Was Not My Fault. I think this happens when someone is unable to take responsibility for their own actions - and they feel the need to justify their actions by blaming someone else. It's cowardly and you are just so much better off without it - after another 6 months, you would have gone nuts as you tried to get him to accept responsibility for even waking up in the morning. Keep this in mind when you see him today.

Peas on Toast said...

James - terrified of sleeping tablets. Terrified.

Anon - aren't they just?

Champs - yes it will resolve something. This little chat is long overdue. I'll remind him he is deluded. Besides that, there's other stuff I need to talk to him about as well.

Daytripper - I'm going to need a stiff drink to calm the nerves before this. Yikes! :)

Jam - it wasn't me, promise! :)
Thanks Jam, yip I figured he can slag me off as much as he likes. But telling people I was looking for someone else is just a bunch of bullshit, and he knows it. Best I remind him.

other-duke said...

goldfish.. much respect. they are trying some new material, next album should be great (and long overdue)..

JamesW said...

I use to feel the same way along with +2 coffees per day. Now I guzzle down 2 minimum, so have to take the sleeping pills to counteract. hmmm, almost like uppers and downers.

Ramone Allones said...

Moaning (sic) all,


compiling legal documents by the fistful today... my fav.

to complete your list from tues, movie quotes etc: my personal best is from oliver Stone's 80's masterpiece Wall Street- i'm a walking cliche i know.

Gordon Gecko (cool name) to Bud Fox "there's no dignity in poverty"

Peas on Toast said...

Other-duke - excellent news!

Jimmy - All this experimienting with uppers and downers, I'm worried about you. :)

Ramone - hello my little poenniepie. :)
Good luck with the documenti. I've got Monday Morning syndrome, even though it's Thursday. Work is a serious effort...
PS: Like the quotes.

kyknoord said...

That's almost as good as the pre-emptive "I knew you were getting ready to dump me, so I just got it over with, because it was going to happen anyway" breakup excuse.

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - exactly. Spot on, sailor. :)

Daedalus said...

Peas, I know this is the wrong post for this comment, but, they recon that sex is a good cure for insomnia :) haha..

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks big guy. And since I'm getting so much at the moment, looks like the insomnia is here to stay. wahaha :)

fly said...

Still on SB ?!

Who cares what he says ??? ....its your word over his....personally I cant see meeting up for a chat doing any side any good unless ofcourse you want something happen....this was always my reason for having a "chat" with an ex...

Do the right thing...leave it be :o)

Peas on Toast said...

Fly - yeah. But there's other stuff that can't be left. And no nothing will happen, and yes maybe I'll feel crap afterwards, maybe I'll feel better. But it has to happen. Today.

fly said...

Well good luck lady....be firm.... ;o)

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Fly. I'm taking on the mental preparation as a business meeting. I have stuff to lay out, and then I'll go home and...drink a bottle of wine.
Think firm. Am thinking firm. :)

Champagne Heathen said...

So you are seeing him this evening? Has he replied to you?

Peas on Toast said...

Hi Champs
Yip I am.

Daedalus said...

"big guy" - wtf?
Time to go on a diet, ak!

Peas on Toast said...

Daedalus - it's a compliment. As in big, hunk of a man or you have a big willy. I don't know whether you have a big willy, of course, but I'm just giving you some healthy PR here.
:)

Anonymous said...

Hey queen pea

Sorry to interfere in your life, but "DONT DO IT, DONT SEE HIM TONIGHT ONLY PAIN WILL COME OF IT. YOU ARE CONVINCING YOURSELF IT WILL BE OK, LISTEN TO THE LITTLE VOICE.

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Anon.

You know, it was ok. It was necessary, I was dreading it, but it was actually ok.
But thanks for looking out for me anyway. :) xx