Friday, September 15, 2006

help me.

K I'm gonna try string a sentence together, but this may be the last sentence I string, because I am going to die. I am sitting in the computer labs with my sunglasses on. This hangover is so epic, I actually don't remember feeling so shite. Ever. In my whole life. Yesterday I wasn't even hungover. Not in comparison. All I can really hope for is not to chunder today in front of big newspaper important journalism editors, and hope that I can actually just pass out in a quiet, cool place. Damn that Rat and Parrot. Damn it. It's Satan turned into a pub.

1) I have been at the Rat & Parrot three times in 24 hours.
2) I am being punished for being 26.
3) Was telling all the snackable locals I was 22 last night. Have finally started lying about my age.
4) Help. Mock charge, chunder.
5) Pflaumenstreuselskuchen walked me back to my res last night and we apparently, or so he says, listened to opera on my iPod.
6) I think I was well-behaved.
7) I bought a frigging 'The Rat & Parrot' t-shirt from the manager there. I am such a tourist, and I don't even like that place anymore. I frigging hate it.
8) Please someone just kill me. I don't care how, just do it.
9) I think we must've had about 8 Yaygies last night.
10) The res shower: actually, let's not talk about the res shower.
11) Met a mate of C's last night. I'm sure he thinks I'm absolutely crackers.
12) Pflaumen is a sweet, lovely German who bought me a coke this morning. Are these people used to hangovers of this intensity? Becauase, if that's the case, thank God, thank GOD I never came to Rhodes. I would never have made it.
13) Colin Daniels and Vincent Maher and Carly Ritz, bless all of your cotton doondies. You all rock and you've all done such a great job getting us all here and organising the whole shebang. I'm sorry, in advance, for my lack of conduct today. It's your fault though.
14) My driver is also a hot little snacky cake. The one who drove me from the airport.
15) Motherfucked.

Help. OK. This is not even a 'help I'm dying' exaggerative whine. This is for real.

21 comments:

kyknoord said...

WHAT? YOU HAVE A HANGOVER? THAT'S TERRIBLE!!! DON'T YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN YOUR HEAD WON'T STOP GOING DOEF, DOEF, DOEF, DOEF, DOEF, DOEF??

kyknoord said...

Mwahahahahahahahaha. I am filled with the milk of human kindness. Ugh milk. Makes the stomach curdle, doesn't it?

other-duke said...

Heeeectic!

22 hey!? i haven't heard a good lie like that since: "Ai did not have sexual relations with thaat woman"

Jam said...

I would love to say poor Peas, but at least you had a blissful birthday, and you even got to lie about your age. (although no snack, maybe later??) Now get out that pen and have a good day.
xxx

Crusoe said...

If you look on the bright side, you get to spend the rest of the day trying not to breathe directly at people! Sounds like you're having a blast though - GTown was made for you.

Phil said...

Just get that "I LIKE THE WAY YOU MOOOVE" song into your head........he he......
May the force be with you 26 year old peas with an 85 year old brain today!

Anonymous said...

Believe me Rhodes is tough sweetie..I did`nt make it don`t worry....2 things...it`s not Rat & Parrot..it`s Rrrrat & Parrrot (it`s all in the East Cape pronunciation), second, at Rhodes after they have shoved a funnel of booze into your beak you realise it`s either booze or bust..so I chose drugs instead.

That was then, of course.

Revolving Credit said...

Well reading the comments posted on the blogs of last nights revellers, it sounds like you all had a blast of a time (yours not being the only hangover)

It appears you may have added to your fan-based, but paid the ultimate price in doing so.

All I can do is to reiterate yesterdays message which seems a lot more apt today:

'HAPPY BARFDAY'

fida said...

I'm not gonna say I TOLD YOU SO!!!

what else happened at rhodes??? u did go for a conference didnt you?? or was it only to smell of booze??

fida...

Peas on Toast said...

OK. I'm not coping. Please help me by not typing in capitalletter.,

Revolving Credit said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Revolving Credit said...

soundslikeyouregonnahavetoaskpflaum
enstreuselskuchentorundowntothephar
macyforyoutogetsomepainkillersantac
idandmaybeadoseofvitaminbsinceyoure
obviouslyinnostatetodosoyourself.

Anonymous said...

And then what happened the next night?

duke said...

ahh, the sweet Rat and Parrot. Don't pretend to hate it, Peas. Everyone thinks they hate it in the mornings at first. Then it gets so you know what time Mynaard opens that baby up, and you're waiting outside when he does.

so many sweet memories - I'm tempted to hop on a plane and be there in time for a sundowner...

OldMedia said...

May you be haunted by the ghost of Herr Gruber.*
* The Rat and Parrot was once a steakhouse called Tiny's owned by a German resident called Gruber who is, as they say in the Eastern Cape, "late".

Peas on Toast said...

kenchunder fried chicken. \lunch time. with a bucket.\or fried chicken in a bucket to go. apparently they have one here, thank god.

Pete said...

Just to be cruel:)


WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CHEESE WITH YOUR WHINE?

Ramone Allones said...

apfelstrudel ( borrowed from pfleugen....???'s blog),

sounds like a ripper- muchos impressive! was wondering why jozi seemed so quiet... methinks g'town won't be the same after this...

ubrigado

Anonymous said...

Go to the RET Butlers pharmacy and get a hangover kit.

They will save your life.

TheOracle said...

Oh Peas, glad I got to witness my fair share of the intense spade work that was going down in the good old scoring corner at the Rat bar. Congrats on, not only, your first and probably last birthday at the Rat but also on your highly skilled and exceptionally sneaky duck from the Rat...sneaky little puffadder you! "Just have to go to say GOODBYE to someone"....ha! Chances! Good to meet and put a face to the name. Can't believe you think your driver's tasty, didn't your mom teach you never to date the help! :) Happy Hanging.

Inyoka said...

mmm... I seem to remember being like this quite a few times when I was at Rhodes. Of course the RAT was not there then. We partied further down down the street at the Vic (Victoria Hotel) which is now no longer.