Friday, September 08, 2006

office space

Yesterday was a bad day for so many reasons. But mostly, they were work-related.

1) I had a huge fight with my boss. We screamed and shouted. At the moment of my screaming and banging fist on table, I didn't care if I was fired or not. I wasn't fired, but I was so pissed off with her, I'm pretty sure I frothed from the mouth. It wasn't work-related.

2) I started training yesterday.

3) I lay awake tossing and turning all bloody night with stomach cramps. The Myprodols I had formally swallowed made fuck-all difference, except that I couldn't feel my fingers, which just freaked me out.

But, and it is important to realise this: in the dark haze of a horrific day, one needs to find the light somewhere. Even if it is the smallest stream of light amongst other bigger things.

Heinz Winckler's older, sexier brother smiled at me in the traffic yesterday. He made eye contact, so I was certain he wasn't smiling about my swinging fuzzy dice or the flower on the dashboard like everybody else does. I froze and smiled back, having to tear my eyes off him.

See, most people give me a thumbs up or wave, because apparently driving a new Beetle with fuzzy dice and a flower is mildly entertaining. Arno Carstens once let me into his lane, not before flashing me a wicked grin and giving me the ever-predictable thumbs up.

Heinz's Older Sexier Brother sat cool as a cucumber in an Audi A8, dressed in a suit. I, on the other hand, after a very trying day involving tearing clumps of my hair out, breaking out in hives and hiding the hovercraft-sized bags under my eyes with cakey concealer...looked a right mess. Yet he still smiled. At me.

Fuck. If only, like in the movies, he would do a u-ie and follow me home, to bang me up against the stairway bannister. But I suppose one calls the stalker brigade when one finds someone is following them.
Today had better be better.

30 comments:

other-duke said...

Audi A8 hey... he's obviously not in the music business

Peas on Toast said...

O-D - No. He's probably an accountant.

Daytripper said...

other duke: "He's obviously not in the emusic business!"
Thats fucken hilarious! Arno of course drives an old 1980's series Merc! Mind you, he could be in a sposnored Toe Rag or a Citroen now, who know??!?!?

Peas on Toast said...

Daytripper - Funny enough it was a sponsored car, a Jetta. But it was him alright. Bless. ;)

Suavé said...

Fuzzy Dice eh? NOICE!!!! Can you say P.I.M.P?

Peas on Toast said...

I know, my car is so pimpin' porno, it's hilarious. Love it!

Champagne Heathen said...

'ey, there's nothing wrong with fuffy dice hanging from the rearview mirror!!

And yes, you have to LOVE traffic flirting! I think it is why I went insane for the last year...no one on that route to work was worth flirting with.

Peas, good luck with today.

Anonymous said...

Dear peas, I have been following your blog and love it- i worked out the other day that you might be the girl i took to my matric dance, where you got hectically drunk, and chandered on my shoe. I wasn't offended. I was a loser anyway, and I still think you're great. high5 from london. anon

Suavé said...

I actually saw a really BLAZING shorty in a Golf IV this morning with Fluffy Dice hanging from her rearview. I had to holla. Although, girls don't really acknowledge cats on their Vespa's though even though I got Fluffy Dice on my key ring. Ah well...I still beat her in traffic.

Revolving Credit said...

Morning all
Suavy, r u getting turned on by the hotty in the Golf IV or by her fluffy dice? Just checking the fetish.

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - isn't traffic charfing the best? ;) While stuck in a taxi pile up, it sure does while away the time very nicely.

Anon - WAHAHAHA, I cannot stop giggling, you! I might've just been that girl, oh my god, I still get so embarrassed by this, what is it, 8-9 years later? I'm sorry, I msut've been the worst matric dance partner in the world. If it's any consolation, by matric dance partner is apparently living in Alabama now and is rumoured to have joined the Ku Klux Klan. Wow, what a catch. So I guess I got what I deserved. :)

Hope London is brilliant, Doc told me he'd caught up with you last time he was there, and also ripped me off royally over the whole 'chundered on his shoes' thing. :) Hope you well my dear.

Suave - you say people don't acknowldege Vespa drivers: I forgot to tell yo something hilarious. The Ant and I saw a Vespa parked outside the bowling club the other day. We were a little boozed, so thought it might be yours, and we wrote a note and left it next to the ignition. It said: "Hello! Is this Suave? Peas ON Toast and Third World Ant were here and wanted to say hi."

Blind one - since the owner of the Vespa wasn't you, and he saw us writing the note and giggling and runnign away.
God, we're so juvenile. ;)

Suavé said...

HAHAHAHA!!! That's hilarious Peas! Well look, just for future reference mine is yellow so if you do see one then it's all good, leave a note and shout a brother a holla! And if I see a new Beetle with the flower AND the fluffy dice then I'll shout you a holla. I wont assk what colour it is cause it just might attract a coupla stalker's here on your bloggy. I dont know how I'll be able to do that since I dont carry around a pen and a pad but a man shall make a plan.

Rev > LOL, nah dude, a hot chick in a hot ride AND fluffy dice? Come on dawg, what more could I ask for? I guess just to hope that she aint crazy that's all. Fetish? Hmmm...maybe.

Anonymous said...

…But Peas, I think a funnier situation took place at another dance prior to the chander-episode, when 'a name we dare not mention' fired off a non-alcoholic champagne cork, assassination style, straight into the forehead of the rather albino-looking girl across the table (can’t remember her name)...probably one of the cruelest/funniest events I’ve witnessed in my life thus far...nice blog....keep it up!! Anon - London

Peas on Toast said...

Omygod LondonAnon, that's hilarious, I completely forgot about that! Wahahahaha! :) It hit her square in the forehead! That was my Std 9 formal dinner right?

Peas on Toast said...

Suavie - the Vespa was like a beige colour. So future reference we'll remember, because the owner of this one thought we were nuts. I suppose he's not half wrong...:)

Anonymous said...

Peas - that’s the one! I had great fun - all 'capped' off by that brilliant moment when time stood still.
Slow motion does actually exist by the way - because that cork seemed to glide so slowly through the air, I remember the faces around us, frozen-stiff movements, eye brows and grins gradually shifting sharply upwards into place, and then the moment that could launch a certainly launch a 'stand-up-comic's' career...>>FFWD>>... TTHWAAacK!!! ...dead-set centre! 'Big-red-welt'... Poor girl...but I’d still like to shake her hand for providing a moment of sheer comedy genius! E

Peas on Toast said...

E - I. Cannot. Stop. Giggling. So true - time froze, as did she, she saw it coming, but couldn't move, and our entire table just stared until it hit her forehead. Shit, good times. ;) At school anyway! :)

Revolving Credit said...

Was she in any way related to William Tell?

Champagne Heathen said...

Rev, good old William didn't miss though!! Now THAT would've made for some decent bedtime story telling!Traumatised children everywhere...

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - I think the person aiming the champagne cork was william tell - it hit her right in the centre between her eyes! *giggle*

Champagne Heathen said...

Hold on...did William miss? Is that why I am now a screwed-up individual, who has repressed the true version of the story from my memory?!?

Revolving Credit said...

Champs, William Tell's aim was perfect, he missed the kid but hit the apple.
Peas friend, 'a name we dare not mention' sounds like he hit the exact spot he was aiming for just as Will Tell did.

Was she the 'apple of his eye' or just an innocent victim?
Who can Tell.

Shortypam said...

ooh... he smiled at u!!!! see ur more gorgeous than u think!!!

i traffic flirted wit danny k once then i met him at a party and he recognised me haha!!!
oh u gotta love it...

maybe he did follow u to work peas being so entranced by u... or your pimping car...

Crusoe said...

Back when I had really long hair I was driving through Rosebank and some dude blew a kiss at me. When he realised that I wasn't a woman he tried to make a quick exit and drove into one of the islands in Oxford road! My friend who was in the car with me literally pissed himself laughing!

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - I think the champgane missile was an accident, but it was a well-perpetrated one! ;)

Shorty - haha, nice one with Daniel Koppel! :) I'd like to think I'm drop dead gorgeous shorty, but yesterday I was looking a little worse for wear, which is great I suppose!

Crusoe - whahahaha! You must be a real pretty boy. ;)

Crusoe said...

Either that or the dude was desperate :)

Revolving Credit said...

Crusoe, what if the dude really did like you?
Maybe just got a bit shy/embarrassed when he saw your 'partner' in the car.

Now how's that for a scary thought..LOL

other-duke said...

it just dawned on me know.

what was ludwig's reaction to this blatant favouritism?

:)

other-duke said...

know=now. slip of the wrist

Peas on Toast said...

Ludwig loves the attention O-D. Even more than me :)