Tuesday, September 19, 2006

running on turbo

It’s simple. The weekend was exquisite because I spent one half of it in GTown and the second half in Jozi.
Shitters, I’ve sold out. I’m a changed woman. Any preconceived ideas about the town and Rhodes U have been irrepressibly reversed.

I mean, people me it's a dump. Not true, it's beautiful. Exquisite.

Did I have so much fun, learn so much and meet the most incredible people, or what? I will be at Festival next year, that much is certain. I’ve already convinced mates to come down for a debaucherous weekend with me before the year is over. (And I’ll stay at a B &B, not a male res with a communal shower. Total score.) They’re keen as mustard. I told them the men are breathtakingly hot, charming, fun and [the majority] are intellectual writing geniuses. I won’t need to ask them twice.

Anyway, the DCI delegates and speakers had a final goodbye bash on Friday evening, where I, The Most Hungover Person On Earth had to embark on excessive tab drinking again. Luckily I managed, only just.
It seems every time you look at watch in this town it’s 4:00am in the morning.

The Schnitzel had a little chunder into a post box – I jest you not – sometime during the course of the evening. Hilarious. Gonna miss the Schnitzel. A top notch individual. I got walked home again (but this time I knew where I lived, which is half gratifying). It was sad to say goodbye to everyone. I was actually really bleak to be getting back to the Big Familiar Smoke.

The plane journey home was nothing short of terrifying. As I get older (22 last Thursday) I get more and more irrational about landing. And I’ve flown in enough aeroplanes; including my dearest dad’s little vomit comet, yet still. The crosswinds as we flew into Joburg were making me mock charge, get schvitzy and have an apoplexy all at once. Attractive. The plane was bouncing all over the tarmac, veering out of control, I was screaming. There was a scene.

Never a dull moment to be had ever, in my life at least, my mates dragged me off to the Joburg Day rock fest as I disembarked from the terrifying airborne metal capsule that transported me from RAT and the town in which it is conveniently placed, and immediately a Fitzy was shoved into my trembling hands. (E invented the Fitzy. It’s a hardcore beverage.) I wore my Rat shirt and had everyone asking me whether I went to Rhodes (No, I’m from PE Tech, sorry), and giving me more drinks because they thought I waitressed at The Rat. (C thought this whole Rat t-shirt thing was h.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s. As predetermined.)

Went home to catch up with Third Roommate, he bought me flowers strelitzias and The Carpenters DVD for my birthday. Bless his Portuguese jock strap. We ordered pizza from across the road and this is what happened:

3RM: Dude, something strange just happened.
Peas: What?
3RM: The pizza delivery person just gave me fifty bucks. Plus the pizza.
Peas: As in free pizza and money just willy-nilly?
3RM: Correct. I don’t think she realised that I have to pay for the pizza, yet on top of that gave me fifty bucks. But I felt bad so told her how it really is.
Peas: And how is that?
3RM: “Lady, your customers need to pay you, you don’t need to pay them: you don’t need to give your money away. Besides I never did you any favours by asking you to deliver pizza here.”
Peas: Imagine if that’s what happened every time you ordered: free pizza and money.
3RM: Yeah, we could make a killing.
Peas: Get rich quickly: there actually is such a thing.
3RM: We order three pizzas a day, breakfast, lunch and dinner, and they’re free. Plus get fifty free bucks every time. We could quit our jobs and become pizza smashers full-time.
Peas: Get fat and get rich. We could outsource. Like sell them from here as well, like an illegal franchise, and then make even more moolah.
3RM: Yeah, but I’m thinking she’d be fired before next week. And we have consciences.
Peas: Yeah I guess.

E and E2 came round after E had a hair disaster involving a possibly very drunk hairdresser wielding scissors.

PS: Doc sent me the most awesome birthday present for my birthday. It was postmarked from Austrayleeah. This got me excited before I even opened it. What a little beefcake he is, that Doc. Inside this package are the first and second series of Kath & Kim. A ridiculous series that deplores taste extending to The Castle and my favourite Australian white trash soapie, Home & Away.
(“Is it a crim to feel trim, Kim?”) I’m in heaven.

PPS: I left half my clothing at The Rat. Would someone please do me a favour and ask Deon (or is it Leon?), the manager guy, if he has seen a certain yellow tracky-top around? (And any remaining threads of my dignity, interspersed between the tables?) The chances are slim, let’s be honest. But any enquiries about aforementioned apparel would be very much appreciated. I’ll pick it up when I’m down for a dirty weekend.


other-duke said...

the grahamstown website requires a www. before the url or just click here, so too does the national arts festival

the festival was amazing. you'll love it. if only i wasn't planning on relocating to the uk next year, i would definately be going again.

I can't beleive the Rat has it's own website. that's classic

Glad you made it back in one piece

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks O-D! God I thought I had this links thing waxed. I'm tech retarded.

The Rat manager reckoned they haven't updated their website for four years. Classic. That place is stuck in a time-warp. I love it!

Anonymous said...

Peas, beware, you are becoming a closet rhodent very fast!

Anonymous said...

How was JHB Day? Heard it was really nice!

Anonymous said...

Glad you enjoyed G-town. I finished my Journ degree last year and am working in Cape Town. Still miss the small town vibe and the fact that you can go absolutely crazeee there and no-one even blinks an eye!!

Peas on Toast said...

All three Anons - Are you one person?
JHB Day was cool, all my mates were way hammered by the time I got there, but was awesome. I am becoming a closet Rhodent, the irony is almost tangible.
You right, no one blinks an eye when you're so absolutely scutters-broken. What a pleasure! :)

JamesW said...

Hey LC.

Happy belated bday.

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks James. Who is LC? Losers complex, I hope.

Phil said...

Hey Peas. Nice to have you back. Glad G-town such a blast and that you survived. I agree JHB Day was really awesome. Too much booze as usual but really awesome way to spend a Saturday.
Chat soon.

Phil said...

Hey Peas. Nice to have you back. Glad G-town such a blast and that you survived. I agree JHB Day was really awesome. Too much booze as usual but really awesome way to spend a Saturday.
Chat soon.

JamesW said...

LC is your name the last i checked

Choosy said...

Kath and Kim DVDs??? Colour me jealous!! Noice, very noice...

I was going to comment on GTown but I left my name there during fest three or four years ago and no one seems to have had the decency to return it so bugger 'em.

Peas on Toast said...

Phil - yip, still trying to recover from my GTown experience. And now have shitloads to do in the office. It sucks so bad right now! And glad to hear you enjoyed JHB Day as well.

James - James my dear, as much as I love you, you're interfering with a very sordid blogging-etiquette code right now my boy. 'Peas' is fine.

Choosy - Isn't Kath & Keem hysterical??

Revolving Credit said...

Hiya Peas

Helmut, howzit ,where you been hiding?

JamesW, play nice...Little Chunder managed successfully to keep her pics off the DCI Blog. Lets not out her on her own blog.

Pease, be glad you weren't flying out of Cape Town as they appeared to have had some sort of security incident and evacuated the domestic terminal.

I hope you are able to feedback back to us on what you managed to learn at the DCI through the alcoholic haze.

I see Vincent Maher busted Schnitzel on his blog : 'Groogle decorated the post box outside Olde 65 with something nasty '

Sounds like vintage Peas.

So did you get any job offers while there or we you too wasted to remember?
(Besides the waitress job @ The Rat)

Peas on Toast said...

Hiya Rev!

I see you commented on my hangover from hell on the DCI blog - loved that, thanks dollface. ;)

Vincent busted Groogle/Pflaumie did he? How hilarious, because somehow he thought chundering into a letterbox wouldn't leak out onto the 'Net. (Sorry Pflamen, you're so busted. wahahaha)

Yip and tomorrow, when things have settles down, will write about the serious stuff about GTown, the stuff I learnt. Also heard about the security incident, hectic. JHB was quiet for once!

Hah ha, and I'm thinking about the waitress job: no sir. Although I could make a pretty good living there methinks. :)

J.M said...

Welcome back sweet peas.. yes or no yet??

Crusoe said...

Welcome back Peas, and thanks for the update on your weekend, sounds like it was a blast! How was your 5 min presentation? Did you at least take your shades off? :)

Peas on Toast said...

Hi JM! No still haven't recieved it! The frustration I tell you - any news from your side?

Hi Crusoe! One of the delegates at the DCI said he knows you and sent out a howzit from yourself, very cool. :)

J.M said...

Nope will make a plan though .. would be a pity!!

Jam said...

mmmm. Left half your clothing at the Rat? And why?
How is your liver feeling???

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - I have no idea. I'm too embarrassed to ask! ;)

Anonymous said...

hi fart glad i finally got to see this most famous blog. Most upset i didnt get a mention though....was awesome to see you - told carl and he was most upset that i tried to phone him at the unreasonable hour of 11 o clock (imagine). he told bruce i;d seen you and that we;d had a good laugh about the completely-insane airplane-crazy womanisers we call "dads". Still have nightmares about the guy from "canandia". Glad u enjoyed rhodes and that i got to see you. take care and keep in touch...x

Peas on Toast said...

Hello my ange!

Bruce and Carl have to go down as the most interesting, eccentric individuals on this planet! It was so nice to see you babe, and at The Rat, of course! Everyone seems to bump into everyone there. :) Next time you're in Jozi please give me a call. And lots of love to Carl, and you of course. xxxx

Schnitzel said...

Those shades were on most of the day. Sunlight was not her friend! Neither was the RAT! :P

Peas on Toast said...

Schnitzel my friend: let us not forget how hung you were as well! :) Hilarious, you were schvitzing like a true German. But then so was I. Attractive.

My shades are my friends. The Rat, I digress, is not. ;)

Pete said...

How was the jo'burg day thing? See any cool bands?

Peas on Toast said...

Pete - I did, but I only arrived later, as I got off the plane. A bit of Clegg, Arno, Just Jinjer.

We were all dancing around like wildthings, was fun. :)

Jam said...

btw - I hate flying too. Also mostly landing and taking off. Airhostesses have displated a steely lack of concern about my panic previously. I have urges to lie in the middle of the aisle wailing loudly.

Revolving Credit said...

Peas, I'm assuming you meant to say 'hungover', if not

'..let us not forget how hung you were as well!..'

Schnitzel, respect!!


Peas on Toast said...

Rev - I've just blushed so brightly, it feels like my face is on fire. Trust you to pick on that. And I wouldn't know how hung he is. :)

Jam - I got that too! While screaming and thinking I'm about be invloved in a plane pile up, they didn't so much as flinch!

Pete said...

Would have killed to see JJ again but the issues put a spanner in the works..

Revolving Credit said...


Schnitzel said...


Peas on Toast said...

As a spokesperson for Schnitzel:
He isn't usually speechless. But he loves all this attention. I tried to ask him how big his package was, but I only got innuendos. So at this point, the plaintiff has no comment.


Revolving Credit said...

Schnitzel, dude..this is just another day in the blog of Peas of the Toast.

Schnitzel said...

need to get used to this high-speed commentary. not easy, as I’m situated in this laid back, quiet and sleepy town…we are quiet folks here, we normally comment on a weekly (not second) basis :P

Peas on Toast said...

This is livetime on this space Pflaumie.
How is GTown (my new favourite place in SA) today, hope not raining and cold!

Revolving Credit said...

Hmmm...so there are issues with both Size and Frequency?

Crusoe said...

Yeah Matthew is a soon to be business partner of sorts. I was supposed to go down for the conference with him but sadly couldn't make it, so I told him to say hi from me :)

Peas on Toast said...

Nice Crusoe - he tld me what you did, sounds very enterprising my dear. Pity you didn't come down, it was brillaint - a lovely mixture of hitting it hard at the Rat and learning more about blogging and media.

Crusoe said...

Aaah, so he gave up the business plan in a heart beat - man he has no self control! :)

Yes, sounds like a night at the Rat would have been worth the trip alone.

So what else did he give away? Did he bore you with what I do for a living? :)

Somali said...

Hey Peas,

Glad to hear you had fun!!

PS: I hate my flatmate is back.

Keep well,

Carlz said...

Friend - I so needed you at Dad's wedding! ended up at melrose arch hotel - under the table - politely asked to leave - as least when u throw name in G-town, no one cares - but I doubt they'll eva let me set foot in that hotel again!
thanks for a fab couple of days - next time u come down, let management know ;)

Inyoka said...

Welcome back!

Gtown does things to one.... besides destroying brain cells. You start talking funny. Ja boet, No swaer. And eating 10 pineapples a day.

You will enjoy the festival. Very hippy, good music, good fringe, plenty booze and grass.

Peas on Toast said...

Crusoe - no he didn't tell me about your plans, but told me what you did for a living, so don't worry the cat, she is not out the bag! :)

Somali - hey dollface! Excellent news, he's back!!!!

Carlz - been thinking of you my dear, oh my gad, I would've paid good money to be under those tables, drinking it up with you! Going to give you a ring today, I want to hear all about it.

Inyoka - I noticed that. I'm still retarded from my four days there.