Wednesday, September 27, 2006

vaal, three-ways and the 1920s

Friday wonderfully refreshing. Why? I didn’t get retarded hammered. I know, amazing. Almost unbelievable.

What a difference that makes in the morning, something epic. I just had the most incredible night. It was Klo’s birthday party (happy birthday my darling dollface), she had a 1920s theme at Katzy’s in Rosebank.
We all wore pearls and shit.
I was dressed head to toe in satin - gad – and now that I have my mojo back, literally, I looked like Meringue a la Marlene Dietrich, yet. Yet. The dishiest oke in the room took me by the hand to dance with me outside. Outside. “It’s too busy and crowded here, I want to dance with you outside.” I always dig a romantic gesture, so I did it. Outside, in the middle of The Firs shopping centre. Felt like a rock star. What a ripper.
In a momentary stupidity spasm on passing the Flite Centre, you know the travel company that brands itself by planting a life-sized pilot mannequin outside its doors; I approached the fucking mannequin to ask him where the nearest ATM was.
Glad only C saw that.

Then we headed to Manhattan, still dressed like 20s hot bitches, and I got to see mates I haven’t seen in ages. I properly ripped it with Moogs and L among others, and we headed home at a decent hour (2:00am. That’s decent ok, don’t give me hard time), and we were sober. But so happy. How awesome is that? I’ve been completely happy for about a month now, with only very infrequent ex hang-ups and such, and it feels so fucking great, I can’t even tell you.

Saturday. Oh my super Saturday. Goodness gracious.

Went down to the Vaal with C as her random mate for Jack Rock’s farewell. Oh my aching ovary, it was madness.

Luckily most went the full hammer and tongs, and I wasn’t going to sit back and watch that’s for sure. I say most, barring a handful that had mature conversations about garden furniture over chocolates and coffee. Embarrassed shitless, since nobody ree-hee heeally knows me there. Although I met someone there I do know. As promised, she approached me and said hello. Was so great to meet her, and over a debaucherous weekend as well.

According to reports from other people, and photographic evidence, C and I lunged each other. This is the third girl friend I have snogged this year. I would be worried about my sexuality…if only we didn’t have a three-way snog with Jack Rock as well.
Oh yes. At once.

Is this logistically possible even?
He claims we both kissed him at once in the collective noun of a drool of lungers. We vehemently deny such nonsense. No way man.
He insists, we resist.
Random over here wiped on the floor, luckily we were dancing like monkeys, then C and I apparently had an argument about us getting drenched in the boat and me being a drama queen about it. (Naturally. What else does one do in a crisis, except panic and make a scene?)
The boat drama was epic.
Flashflood tsunami Vaal wave over the front of boat wetting us down to our doondies, and fucking up the inner-lining of my handbag and everything else inside.

Then somebody, it might’ve been me, got a-hold of a permanent marker and we all wrote random shit all over each other. Words like poen, doondies, tits, hot stuff, nipples here _ and uh huh. (“Uh Huh?”)

Everyone practically had this scrawled all over themselves. Then there were the handlebar moustaches, with one incredible character waking up with a full-on blue beard all over the lower half of his face. And someone named my guns. I woke up with Thunder and Lightning written on my biceps. Classic. (Perhaps Thunder and Chunder might’ve been more appropriate. Not that I chundered, but you get what I mean.) Half of us were waltzing around with blue marker all over our faces and bodies.

Woke up wondering in collective bewilderment –what the fuck did we do last night? C and I passed out on the pull-out couch and woke up with Jack Rock in between us. Talk about being caught between a Rock and a hard place…yeah…uh huh…ok.

I got the fright out of my life on finding a hairy arm on my pillow and thought C had grown armhair in the night, but no, it was Jack Rock Jack Russelling us. We certainly didn’t go to sleep with him sandwiched there, and woke up to a very different scenario.
For all we know we could’ve been witness to our own ménage.

But no, and how hilarious.

Jack Rock you little beeyoody, best you don’t forget us messy chicks when you’re in Oxford big guy.

Last night a Certain Someone bought we back some trout from a fishing weekend he went on. Ordinarily chicks don't dig presents like a Tupperware full of trout. I do. Also, he's a Certain Someone.


Pete said...

Hey Peas, what a RIPPA! Weekend sounds awesome!

I;m sure you'd have realised this in a few minutes, but you've double posted..

pete said...

...And now it's fixed:)

Peas on Toast said...

Hey Pete!

Thanks mate, I did realise - I blame blogger :)

Yip weekend was off-the-charts crazy... but loads of fun! ;)

pete said...

You girls are too much:)

Did you at least ge some time in behind the boat? Or are you just another poppie?:)

Peas on Toast said...

Pete - I'm just another poppie :)

(Sort of. I think. Oh no.)

Kevin Cadman said...

Peas! How are you doing dear?

It's so weird reading your blog; you're like me in a few months. My situation hasn't really improved as everything is still up-in-the-air. However, I'm not letting that stop me... had a great weekend, will post about it soon!

Oh, and I did like the link to on wikipedia - nice touch ;)

pete said...

tsk tsk..

Next time I want a report of you on the water!

Peas on Toast said...

Kevin - howzit dollface! Shit, you know I think of you often and always hope that you're finding some clarity in your situation. Shame hon, keep strong and do what's right for you, not waht's right for her. It's ok to be selfish. :)

Yip. I've crawled out of my little four month Hole of Hell and am going nuts. This may or may not be a good thing...;)

Champagne Heathen said...

Wow. 12 hits on my page before I have even had my first cup of coffee this morning. I think the blogging world is hoping I am giving up gory details & pics of you from this w.end!

Excellent to have met you finally Peas! And been party to some good hooliganism.

Hope you've gotten over your LC and I wouldn't be worry about being embarrassed if I were you. Comparatively speaking.

Jack Rock said...

Good times Peas - gonna miss you and C and the trail of mayhem that seems to follow you around. Still trying to remove this blue "POEN" that someone (I suspect you) tattooed across my chest.

And as for the three-way lunge... well... lets just say I'm feeling pretty used over the whole experience.

Used and exploited, it's quite nice really!

Koekie said...

Hey, at least you kept your doondies under wraps, unlike others. Embarrasment is all relative, as Champagne Heathen pointed out!

Nasty stuff... much fun was had by all!

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - yo didn't get lunge pics did you? I think we're safe, they on C's camera...

Was a bloody good evening, lots of fun. And so nice to put a face to your blog. :)

Jack Rock - you couldn't feel used my dearie, since the three-way snog didn't really happen. Hey hot stuff. ;)

I still have 'nipples yeah' written on my tummy, which I have tried to scrub and scrub off. Attrctive.

We gonna miss you Mr Rock!

Peas on Toast said...

Koekie - classic, my little little Doondie Exhibitionist!

What did the garden furniture brigade have to say about our out of control antics, one wonders??

Pete said...

I think the poppie rule is 'If in doubt you are', or 'if you wear makeup on the boat, you are'

Peas on Toast said...

Pete, I'm probably a pop, sure. AS for make up in the boat, not really. And if I had put my face on before the boat experience, the wave would've washed it off. :)

other-duke said...

wow. sounds incredible. love the rendezvous with the flight centre mascot. hilarious

Peas on Toast said...

OD- - d'you think other people have done that? Randomly walk up to a frigging statue and start having a conversation? Blind one. ;)

Champagne Heathen said...

Maybe I have lunge photos. Maybe I don't. All I'll say is $$$$

I definitely have lots of cleavage and crack photos. Gorgeous really. And Koek's excellent support of the British Flag.

And yes, now you have an uber-hot face to put to a pulitzer prize blog! You did realise I am arrogant then to, didn't you?

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - arrogance is just confidence made aware. :)

other-duke said...

pea's i'm sure people are constantly asking the mannequins at Woolies where the fitting rooms are, or if they have this shirt in a size 39. not that i speak from experience or anything.

the female mannequins have nipples even, had i been looking at the face, i'd have know it wasn't a real person

joe said...

You see, geeks just wouldn't talk to mannequins... it's just not physically feasible for an inanimate object to communicate without some form of artificial intelligence.

Having said that there was a person I know who chatted to someone in the bathroom mirror at a wedding for 30 minutes... It turned out to be none other than herself.

kyknoord said...

You manage to attract romantic gestures, whereas recently I only seem to get gestures of another kind altogether. Life is so unfair!

Peas on Toast said...

OD-: Especially in the granny department! :)

Joe - that's hilarious@!

Kyk - few and far between my dear. Trust me. :)

JAm said...

Work must seem dull this morning, no doubt.
Love the twenties, should have been born in the twenties...

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - Aren't the 20s exquisite? LOe the whole satin, pearl, long cigarette holder vibe. Love it. ;)

Champagne Heathen said...

If you and Jack Rock still have blue on your stomachs, one wonders about certain other people explaining to their bosses today why they have taken to drawing on 5 o'clock shadows and other forms of blue facial hair!!

Jack Rock said...

Peas, I don't know what to say.

And Champers and Koekie - man, it was like a female blogger's convention out there. I had no idea you are who you are, if you know what I mean!

Koekie, great doondies by the way! I thought the Union Jack combo was especially thoughtful!

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - I just want to know about the certain individuals face this morning. YOu know the one with half-blue face in entirety. Didn't he lunge?? ;)

Jack - Us bloggers love you big guy. ;)

Champagne Heathen said...

Less of a lunge and more of a gentle attempt at coercion once the lights finally went out.

I guess it was to be expected after he witnessed me watching E-TV porn in fascination, then sitting next to him in only a bikini asking what the rules to the game were, and then there being a group skinny dip all in the space of one ungodly hour.

Peas on Toast said...

You watched E-TV porn with Blue Face Guy?
Classic Champers. :)

By that stage C and I were in bed. Uncertain if The Rock had joined us by that stage...

Champagne Heathen said...

Actually, no, I watched porn with someone else, but at some stage everyone left standing was entranced by it. Porn has the power to do that to a group of drunkards.

Peas on Toast said...

...yeah...especially e-TV porn...;)

Koekie said...

So that's what happens when you pass out too early in front of the hi-fi... you miss out on e-tv porn.


Peas on Toast said...

Koekie - bless your little cotton Union Jack doondies - hilarious. I hear everyone else was blessing them as well! :)

Champagne Heathen said...

Peas, I notice many of your regular commentators are disturbingly quiet today. Surely they can't all be scared off by such a normal post-w.end banter?
Or is most of SA just taking an extended long w.end??

Just had a final coffee with Jack Rock to hand over the infamous CD of pics. Sad to see him go. At least we know it is so he can study to become rich and support us in replaying such w.ends endlessly into our old age!

Peas on Toast said...

Champs maybe they're bored. Let's face it, every weekend ends with a story of debaouchery. :) Oh well!

Let's marry Jack Rock for his money. Do you think he'd mind? ;)

Champagne Heathen said...

Hmmm, an idea I quite like. He better make sure he then becomes ridiculously rich. I can't imagine we'd be easy to maintain.

I think he could be convinced with 3 simple words...Three.Way.And Lunging.

Peas on Toast said...

And I'm sure he won't mind having POEN written on him every now and then hey? ;)

Or maybe we should try and behave.

Nah. Too boring. :)

Champagne Heathen said...

We could try to behave every once in a while. I've found that's the best time for when all chaos ends up breaking lose, when you are really really trying to fit into garden furniture and twin-set-and-pearls convos.

Ah, we'll make great trophy wives yet!

Toadie said...

Thunder and Lightning baby, there's a storm brewing?

I hereby pronounce OB's the new penicillin.

the salami from killarney said...

OB's and the Vaal. Sigh. As I recall, I invented that combination.

Jack Rock - we're getting shitfaced in Soho tonight, my boy.