A couple of things:
1) Woke up with a simply monstrous headache this morning. It hasn't gone away.
2) But all is good. Tonight is razzle night. And I intend to look hotttttt doing it.
3) I read back on my archives last night. My archives documenting my last break-up. Fuck me but was I upset! I've come a long way since May 17, 2006. I've stopped compulsively drinking every single day, which has got to be a plus. I was an absolute mess. I read those posts with such a sadness. A sadness for me. Now I'm good, better than I've ever been. Yay!
4) I miss my flatmate. Third World Ant, what inane and lush part of Mozambique do you find youself in today? Do you miss me? Can you hear me? [negative.] She gets back Monday. Thank God. The house has been too clean, too quiet, and too organised without her around. She needs to come back.
5) My Bushwhacker 3 000 never fails to please. Ever.
Happy Fridays!
87 comments:
OK, me being the first to comment every morning makes me seriously question my career choice.
Glad you and the bushwacker had a good evening. Or whenever the hell it was that the two of you made mad machine love:)
The Bushwacker will only suffice for so long - I see a shag in your future.
Drink some water to get rid of your headache.
And I know what you mean about reading back over break ups - I think that's the most amazing thing about journaling - reading back and seeing that you've actually made progress. That in itself is so uplifting!
Pete - I live for your first comment my boy. :)
Me and Bushie are toight. ;)
Jam - Isn't it incredible? I read through them last night to get some perspective, and I couldn't believe a) how bad I was and b) how much I've bounced back! I'm pretty darn proud of myself. Also because I only got into a relationship after I had healed and leant something about myself: I can be alone. So I'm pretty chuffed. :)
Pete, it is quite strange how you always comment first ;)
On point 3. Isn't it a great feeling when you finally realise the fog in your head has cleared!? Don't be sad, that's how people deal with breakups. Better alcohol than anti-depressants... those things are nasty
Happy Friday!
I know the feeling. I'm so loving going home to MY house without anyone else in it - I'm really appreciating my space!
O-D: Yeah, break ups really suck balls. I was sad at how sad I was really. Luckily I've done a 360. Phew! :)
Jam - Tell me about it hey! I miss the Ant so much, but I'm enjoying being at home alone. :)
Peas - :) I swear I sit here every morning with my cuppa hittin refresh till you've posted. Always good for a giggle.
O-D - Does no one esle come in to work at 7? They should tell you this stuff at career expo's damnit!
I also admit to going back into my archives and chuckling as I read my writings from two years ago.
I also realise how jaded I have become and need to find my sense of humour again.
The fact that guys do not need a bushwacker is once again proof God is a man ;-)
Pete - so good to hear mate, glad I can make someone giggle. :)
Antoine - god must've been a man, but then he gave us multiple orgasms didn't he? ;)
Pete - 7am, thats just wrong. I'm still at home, seeing a client at 10am. Ain't life tough.
Peas - When you talk about the Bushwhacker, does the 3000 refer to the mileage you've put on it thus far?
hummmm.
We just have to work harder to have our multiples......
But methinks I am gonna have to have a chat to the lad about this.
He farked up!!
Rev - no babe. Engine size. Three-litre baby. :)
Mileage goes beyond that. :)
Antoine - Not actually. When you think that women have to undergo monthly period cramps, child birth, labour, high heels, lower salaries, cellulite, saggy tits (eventually), male domination, a fight for the vote. Well, multiple orgasms just seem fair somehow.
;)
Peas, tell me that you fanny's not been stretched to 3000 cubicle cm's?
Oh. My. God. Rev you did not just use that word. You did NOT just use the F-word.
Use poen, cunt, gwot, use anything, but not the f-word, oh god help.
I can't resist.
fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny fanny
Multiple orgasms? Pish! How about guaranteed orgasms?
Pete - You've just killed me. I'm actually dead. You feel good about that? Do you?
Kyk - well, well well, whatever you say. ;)
Peas - That's just how i roll:)
Did someone just say the f word?????
You so avoided my question by going down the FANNY path.
Pete - it is the foulest word in the entire English dictionary.
Jam - blok your ears mate, it's nasty.
Rev - no, my poen is not 3 000cms wide my friend. I have not given birth recently, no. If anything it's shrunk in size, let's be honest.
Hmmmm...I have 2 friends called Fanny. Both of them are french. You're french Peas. In a way. Not sure what that all means. But it was a thought.
Please can we not have a repeat of yesterday afternoon's convo. My sympathetic frustration might not be able to handle it. Oh, but wait, I am going to the Meat Market tonight & I don't have some insane quest to prove to myself like Peas! Bring it on!
You use the C word and you think FANNY is foul?!
Champs - I know. I have relatives called the F-word. And when I lived in France, it was a popular name. Poor bastards.
Pete - ya-ha! the c-word at least sounds ok. The F-word is just pants. The foulest pants ever! ;)
*Jam blocks her ears and whimpers*
Actually it reminds me of Enid Blyton books - those poor kids always ended up with names like THAT.
Jam - yeah.The Faraway Tree or whatever. The kids names, brother and sister I think, were Dick and Fa..Fa, I just can't say it.
No ways, in the (highly unlikely) event that I was ever to have a conversation with my mom about girl's nethers, the only word I would possibly be able to get use would be the f word, could you imagine saying cunt to your mom? she would bitch slap me.
Pete - you could always use the word "vagina". That word makes ANYTHING seem clinical and distant. Just how you want a sex convo with your parents to be.
Pete - me and my mum call it...a cookie.
Champers - ok, maybe I'm ultra-sensitive about nethers' names, but vagina isn't far behind f-word. The Ant - god I need her, cos she'd back me up - and I agree on the word 'cunt' being ok. Cos it sounds clean and purely sexual.
My list of acceptable Nether Names:
Va-jay-jay
Poen
Poenjabi
Poenani
(Any variation of poen)
Cookie
Geschmutzen
Geschmutzblet
Pudenda
Zizi
Wee-wee
Fnoo
Vagina?! No way, that would make me cringe..
Zizi??? Hehehehehe. So do you two have long conversations, you and Zizi?
Yeah, me and Zizi are mates. :) She pleases me, I pelase her, it's a win-win. ;)
PS: Jam, it's actually the French colloquial for willy. But I kinda like it for my cookie. :)
Vange
Poes
Pussy
or my worst ever yet...Beef Curtains!!! Friends just know to say that & make me shiver.
(Normal Fri blog convos then)
Oh wow, fnoo is just the best word ever! Trouble is, anyone uses it out loud, half the room would say, "bless you", or "gezundheid".
how its spelled in chinese
ctc I have tears ROLLING down my face. That's classic.
Don't americans call their bottoms a fanny? "Oops, I slipped and fell on my fanny" is a classic. The golfer Nick Faldo's caddy was named Fanny and the commentators loved talking about Nick's Fanny!
My personal favourite is "her special place" - makes it sound so, um, special ;-)
Are we into bad naming conventions for Punani now?
Wow do I agree with those Happy friday wishes miss Peas. Damn skippy Im happy its Fri. Wrote my last ever exam today (I hope) so It's party party on the JHB town tonight! Yea BABY!!
My heart has only really been broken once, when I was about seventeen - and, by god, did that experience produce some terrible poetry and journal entries!
What's my point? Reading back over break-up journaling is good - gives you perspective. And at least, you can hold your head up and say, "I was upset, but I did not post angsty poetry!"
you really have bounced back. well done you! i've been going back through my blog recently too. I'm slightly distrubed by the fact that little has really changed for me in the last couple of years. Everything else has changed around me but my life is the same. Time for a radical overhaul, methinks...
Champers - those are horrific! Beef curtains? Oh my shattered fat...fnoo.
Kyk - Isn't fnoo wonderful? The Ant coined it. :)
Crusoe - yeah, gotta love those American 'fanny packs.' Whatever was wrong with 'moon bag?'
D-Guy - correct. :)
Nic - well done dear! Best you out celebrating and getting properly blotto! Have a brilliant one!
Kate - ha ha agreed. I couldn't believe what a loser I was. I sounded so sad and fucked-up. Really glad that one eventually gets over these things eh? The proof is the pudding.
Zu - we like you just the way you are dollace, don't go changing now, you're a brand! :) Yip, reading through the archives was like seeing an accident. A mixture of morbid curiosity and a strange cathartic pleasure seeing myself getting better as each day went by...
Ertjie,
I know some pretty bad names for punani, but, I have an *image* to uphold here.
You can't call it Fnoo! That's my friend's nickname for his baby daughter... and that would be like, co fuct up!
How about cookie? Cunt is good, so is poes... as in the description of the colour... binnepoes pienk.
Otherwise, if you're hanging with feminists and a bunch of over-the-hill drag queens? Vadge!
Lisa
Fur Burger, get with it already.
No muff too tuff
We dive at 5
I had a mate that told his gf's mom (in england) that her car was binnepoes pink. She had no idea what it meant, but used still uses it to describe the colour.
If the afrikaans language only ever gave the world those two words, iot is worth it:)
Peas - I know! It's TERRIBLE hey! They should've at least said "Sashimi curtains".
Gawd.
Daed - consdering your last comment on my blog, I think your clean boy rep has bee thrown!! I think you are free to name away.
Vadge! That was it! Thanks, Lisa!
D-Guy - oh go on! I know you wanna!
Lisa - I'm sorry mate, but fnoo has to stay. Just don't tell your friend. :)
Vange is baaaaad
CCC - No muff too tuff? LOL
1) It's very obviously Friday
2) Rev isn't here yet
3) The comments still managed to veer towards bearded oyster, furry cups, putain, koeksuster, cum dumpster, finger hut, meat wallet, vertical smiles, love canals
4)Well done people - you're all depraved ;P
D - did you just say you had an *image* to uphold? He of the infinite boobie posts?
Chew - "cum dumpster?" Oh my GOD. No mate I think you're depraved.
:)
But then, I suppose we all are. Hurrah! :)
You forgot my personal favourite: the axe-wound.
It takes a lot of effort to come out looking like a perv. He's probably been cultivating that for a while ;P We all know he's sugar coated deep down ;P
Brandon - somebody finally said it. Ex S coined that phrase, you know him?
Chew - I think being a perv definitely has its moments. Hey, it's always worked for me. :)
Jam-jam…
I loves boobies, precisely …
(Errr… I am going to put my foot in it again, aren’t I?)
I never realised you'd taken your fee out of it. ;-)
feet
Erm ... Errr... Thud.
Hi Peas,
I started reading your blog when you last broke up with the dude.
Are you still in contact with him? And are you now "mates"
Agreed, breakups are gross - keep them to a minimum.
Yes, but in order to keep break ups to a minimum either requires you to marry 1 of the 1st guys you monogamously shag or to be like me...single and well, not so monogamous, so not able to be broken or breaking.
Hi Anon - 'mates' as in going out together, being each other's wingmen, chatting each week, no. Mates as in we chat if we bump into each other, have an understanding, and have found peace over everything, have infrequent and minimal contact, yes. :)
Champs - yes, it's hard to control heartache. However you can control what you do in order to get there. MY not shagging my Um Boyfriend until I am ready is one of those controls. I'm learning from my mistakes, and feel this is the best way to ensure that if there is heartache, at least I did things the right way this time and was careful with my heart.
Does everyone understand now why I am waiting? :)
yeah we all seen these movies - the guy gets tired of waiting and finds someone else ;P
Actually I do. When I first started "seeing" someone - we behaved like friends for the first three months - much the same reasoning on my part. I do get it, and I do think it's a good idea. But you know we all can't resist teasing you anyway ;-)
CTC I appreciated your list, but you were missing one. We have the Bloodhound Gang to thank for the beaut, bitch wrinkle!
It's poetic! ;-)
No.
Chew - OK, and if if it's the guy who asked if we could wait? (And I ahppened to agree based on my reasons?) What then?
Jam - I know babe. I'm gaging for a shag, that hasn't changed! :)
Crusoe - bitch wrinkle, fuck that's funny! :)
D-Guy - No?
jesus, i hope some of you get laid over the weekend cos if this level of depravation is allowed to fester over an entire weekend the content on monday will be absolutely hair-raising
Ertjie, I still think it is a bigger risk holding out :P
You are so falling for this guy. :)
Good that you found peace peas.
Im in the same situation with my um bfriend. Also waiting, one needs assurance, a form of commitment, an understanding that he won't say 'nice one' - cheers (hold cards close until you want to show your full hand)....I completely understand.
Oh please. She HAS so fallen for the guy! Let us all reflect on Peas' archives from the last...month!
And considering my own choices in life as of late, despite banter indicating otherwise, we are def. only teasing you. (Mygod, am I getting serious!? On a Friday afternoon!?)
3rm
Some of us will. But then notice how much less depraved I am. ;-)
JAM! I thought we spoke about mentioning such things to the rest of us...um...less active lot!
But just in case you thought I wasn't:
read this link
er...sorry Champs, everybody else.
I'll behave...
Oh yes - and you all forgot that wonderful word "snatch"
if the dude wants to take it slow? we also seen those movies - then he a playa who knows the chick is only gonna want him more ;P
3RM - Could you imagine?? At least YOU'RE gettign some mate. :)
D-Guy - no, I'm not falling for him. I'm not protesting or being silly, I'm being serious. The day I fall in love with someone again will be when hell freezes over.
Anon - thanks man. You've spelt it out exactly right. The cliche's are all true! :) Good luck with the guy. :)
Champs - Not falling! I'm cool, he's cool, dig his company, blah blah blah! You guys, I swear! :)
Jam - Oh stop boasting. :)
Champs - should we gag her? ;)
Chew and D-Guy - thanks for making me feel insecure chaps, yeah....THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY TO DO THIS IS THERE??
jam - good call. but then you're generally more balanced than the rest of reprobates anyway.
peas - yip. at least
Peas, while we are gagging people, please gag 3rm as well! Honestly. Reprobate, my cute ass!
And considering the emails & nap overs you and Um-Boyfriend are having, it hardly sounds like you are 'cool' & he is 'cool'. Humid is more like it!
"balanced" I'm almost offended ;-)
There is no right way to do this other than the way that feels right for you, Peas. And trust me, if he really really really likes you, he won't vanish into the sunset just because you refuse to shag. Trust me on this one. If he does vanish, then good riddance.
Ertjie,
nope ... it is always a risk. Rather just enjoy it hun.
I tend to agree with Jam on this one. But... add my previous comment to that.
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