Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I spent almost 14 hours yesterday doing absolutely nothing. I almost had to teach myself how to walk again.
It was in the plan. One day of holiday where I suck it up and force myself to be still and alone. I’m sick of myself now, which means I can tackle SARS today.

All this immobileness is for good cause, I declare. No I wasn’t completely immovable or horizontal in the sexual sense, but was sort of slouched at a 65 degree angle, glued by eyeballs to the television, and glued by derriere to the couch.
Well, I got up once or twice to get Oros and snack absent-mindedly from the refrigerator.

I didn’t change the channel from 52 (Sky News) for even two and a half seconds.
I’m following the Ipswich prostitute murder case so closely, I didn’t care if they kept on repeating when no new evidence was found, “Breaking News, this is Crispin Pemberton-Pigley reporting from Harwichley Mallet: The police still only have two suspects. We’ll rerun the press conference again, and then show you a map of the area for your pleasure…oh wait it looks like they’re seizing a Ford Mondeo! Oh wait, that’s a cop car just reversing into the street….”

I fucking love Sky.
Like when JFK Junior died in the plane crash, I watched the entire day – never moving. (I lived in France, and it was way better than 1987 Murder She Wrote episodes with a French male voiceover posing as Jessica Fletcher. And Cabbot Cove was La Cabotte Cov. And besides, JFK Junior was a hot motherfucker- I grieved for days.) When the tsunami hit Thailand, I wasn’t stuck on CNN. I was addicted to Sky. When the World Trade Centre went down, I preferred Sky’s take on it. Sky is nothing short of fascinating.

Not to mention entertaining. They intersperse their stories with weather across the UK: “More rain in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, oh and in Wolverhampton….and also in Dover…in fact it’s going to be raining across Great Britain the entire weekend, even in Brighton, in case you were thinking of taking a picnic there anytime soon.” Then it’ll switch back to the murder scene in Trimley, where there’s a bird’s eye view of forensics combing the suspect’s garden and mini- pop up boxes of reporters interviewing other hookers in the area.
You can ask me anything about this case. The scene has unravelled before me nano-seconds after the reporters first got a new scoop, and verbalised this into a microphone across the world.

I should be there, bloody hell. Reporting on the western front of the depraved Jack the Ripper guy. I mean, I have the time right now. Well maybe not today, I have all sorts of coffee meetings going on, but you know, generally.


Insane Insomniac said...

Peas, Isn't it lonely in blogworld with everyone on leave???

On this side of the world, its front page news daily. This is one sick mofo who has obviously seen one too many 'lets kill off prostitutes' movies. EIthe rthat or they refused to give him a "special service" so he flipped and killed them. SICK SICK SICK!

Anyways, glad to know you're spending your vaca the right way. Good luck with SARS!

peanut said...

Hi Peas,
Just a word of thanks from one pathetic person sitting in an office for gave me something to do for about 7 its only 6 hours and 18 mins to go til home time.....
enjoy your vac!!

zuzula said...

sars? isn't that some kind of illness?

how funny that you're hooked on british news. so much for the silly season... there's a lot of bad shit going on this xmas.

Christopher said...

And we've got a serial shitter at my office. Life's never dull, is it?

muddlepuddle said...

Peas even though it's the holidays (and work for me has picked up ten fold which is utterly crap-a-honey) please continue to ramble on these pages as you will be the sole prevention of my taking my own life solely using my flip flop.


Koekie said...

I loved Sky's coverage after the 2004 Tsunami... "and now we're in Sussex with the Beddelingtons who have just got hold of their son and daugther-in-law in Thailand."

Cut to elderly couple huddled over phone: "Okay... okay... Okay... They're okay..."

"There you have it, folks. And now back to Penny for the weather... I believe we have a chance of sunshine over Newquay?!"

Now that is cutting edge journalism.

3rm said...

sky is good for a number of reasons, not least of which is the fact that they have a high success rate in hiring the cutest little minxes as weather girls.

zu - sars is the acronym for inland revenue here in the republic

Inyoka said...

British TV news does tend to be rather boring and colloquial. Unless there is a major earthquake or tsunami, one might think that there is nothing and no one living the other side of the English Channel or the Irish Sea.

So, it is lots of weather (fog patches everywhere today) one crime in Suffolk receiving major coverage and the revelation that one of the murderers of Sharon Beshenevsky is thought to have skipped the UK dressed in one of those fashionable all over muslim kits with a meshed slit in the eye area. Even Iraq and Afghanistan are no longer reported on.

Thank goodness for electronic news feeds, journals and blogs.

Champagne Heathen said...

Sounds good all in all. I occasionally feel guilty for doing so little, being at the coast and all, so I every once in awhile lift my head up, sip on my strong GnT, walk outside into the wind or(on the windless days) turn my body over on my towel. Energetic I know! but it has to be done.


And go to the Cape already!!

Kel said...

lol and I thought I was alone in my SKY obsession.Good shit.I also love the breaking news strip.. "SKY sources: killer wore blue socks"
Have a good holiday Peas:)

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Merry Christmas Peas from Osaka :)