Friday, December 08, 2006

lionel

Peas: Can we listen to Lionel Richie?
Third Roommate: Can I throw a toaster in the bath while we're at it?
Peas: Oh stop being such a drama queen. I’ll play Dancing On The Ceiling. It’s, like, upbeat.
Third Roommate: That's rich. Fine, whatever.

Pause. (Oh…what a feeling...when you’re dancin’ on the ceilin’…)

Peas: Have you ever seen this music video?
Third Roommate: Never had the pleasure, no.
Peas: You know…he really dances on the ceiling. Leaves no room for guesses. I like that. No innuendoes, just plain dancing all over the ceiling.
Third Roommate: Fascinating.

Pause. (Oh…what a feelin’…)

Peas: You know he grew up in abject poverty?
Third Roommate: Oh yeah?
Peas: He’s from the Deep South. You know, slavery and shit.
Third Roommate: He wasn’t alive when there was slavery!
Peas: Ah, but his grandparents were alive when there was.
Third Roommate: So?
Peas: So it had a domino effect. They probably picked cotton. Not much opportunity for growth there. You know he didn’t eat for days on end as a child sometimes?
Third Roommate: Where’d you find out all this shit?
Peas: I saw the, you know, … E! True Hollywood Story.
Third Roommate: Oh my God. And I suppose it’s all true.
Peas: One cannot deny the truth when one is watching an interview with Lionel answering questions in person. And seeing pictures from his family album.
Third Roommate: He has pictures from the ghetto?
Peas: Yeah…on that…you may be right.
Third Roommate: No then it’s probably true. A picture tells a thousand words.
Peas: No, it’s not. If he was that poor, he wouldn’t have had a camera.

Pause. (Hello…is it me you’re looking for?...I can see it in your eyes…)

Peas: He belts out a good tune though.
Third Roommate: His music doesn’t fundamentally touch me.
Peas: That’s because your music taste is purely one-dimensional.
Third Roommate: No, yours is.
Peas: Oh please. Whatever, Mr-I-Own-One-Cypress-Hill CD.

Pause. (Say you...say me…say it together…actually...)

Peas: Glass of Oros?
Third Roommate: Sure, why not.




PS: Nerves, fuck. Today everyone will hear me being a knobhead. Mine and Suave's interviews: SAfm at 12:45pm today, and if you miss that - Monday on Radio 2000 at 1.10pm.

I'm wincing already.

Post interview update: Here is the soundbyte
Please note I sound more serious than Margaret Thatcher reporting from Downing Street.

83 comments:

Anonymous said...

Peas, how did it sound?.. I'm in london and couldn't find it on the net to listen to.

smg said...

hello... is it me you're looking for..

Revolving Credit said...

Anon : 12:45pm (CAT) via streaming audio

Can someone possibly record this an dpost a link to the audio clip for those who may miss it?

Any voluteers?

Daedalus said...

Lionel Richie?
BWHAHAHAHA! Ertjie, you funny!

other-duke said...

Is it Friday, already?

Post-dating posts. Shneaky

Lionel Richie. That's funny!!

(isn't it... naturally)?

Lou said...

Peas, how are we going to listen to it all the way over here in Hindia? I like that recording and posting it idea although I have no freakin clue how to go about doing it.

Any other suggestions?

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - it's still coming...hectic! :)

Smg - ..I can see it is your eyes...I can see it in your smile...

Rev - I have no idea how to set this up, so I ask with you: anyone in the know how?

D-Guy - He's my man. :)

O-D - Lionel grew up in abject poverty, you know. ;)

Lou - hiya sailor! I'm not sure how to do a streaming audio thingie, but perhaps after it's aired it'll be on the website, will keep a check out...
Sheesh I'm nervous to hear this!

tBerry said...

Morning all!
Good luck Peas, I hope for your sake that you don't sound like a complete poen... ;)
But, if you're anything live like you are in type, then you got no problems chicken.
And imagine the massive amount of new readers that'll be hitting the site at around 1pm today!!

tBerry said...

Morning all!
Good luck Peas, I hope for your sake that you don't sound like a complete poen... ;)
But, if you're anything live like you are in type, then you got no problems chicken.
And imagine the massive amount of new readers that'll be hitting the site at around 1pm today!!

Suavé said...

I think I've so deep in the hole with nerves that I've popped out on the other side. Almost a calm dont-give-a-fuck kinda feeling. I'm amazingly chilled about the whole thing. So let's hear ourselves being absolute pampoons on national radio! Hold my hand Peas?

PS - If I say sumin utterly and completely stoooopid on air then please don't hold it against me!

PPS - Rev, I tried that link and also tried going via the site and no luck. Is it my fault or am I missing something?

Jam said...

I'm going to have to lurk in my car today to hear this one.
I'm sorry, but anyone who brought up Nicole Richie to be who she is today cannot be okay in their heads somewhere...

Peas on Toast said...

tBerry - thanks guy! I'm not whether my personality came over at all over the airwaves..I was way nervous. Oh well we'll see!

Suave - let's hold hands please! I'mn not so chilled about it as you are big guy. Maybe I should pop open a gin and tonic?

Jam - did I mention that Lionel grew up in abject poverty? ;)

Suavé said...

I say cheers to that shit!!! And funnily I didnt have a drink for the interview, I just might do it today. I need to kill this hangover anyway!

PS - December is lovely innit?

Peas on Toast said...

One week till holidays!

This weekend is going to be LARGE, i can just feel it.... Loving December!

Billy said...

Im so looking forward to the Peas and Suave show it feels like Christmas is early.

Peas on Toast said...

Billy - I'm not sure whether anyone's gonna be chucking me their doondies after the show is over-eeek!!!

;)

Revolving Credit said...

Guys, to use the streaming audio, just click on the link as download the.ASX file.

Once you have saved this file, just open it in your media player.
This may take a few seconds, depending on you internet connection. You should be able to listen to the SAFM radio broadcast live.

PS> Note that security restrictions on your local network or bandwidth limitations may affect the availability of this service.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev you little beauty!

Once I know the link, I'll attach it herein....

Peas on Toast said...

PS: CAN I JUST SAY:

FUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK I'm freaking out over here!

Little bits of the interview are coming back to me in segments and I am cringeing.

Like how I referred to many blogs being techy and some write blos about tree houses (WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM?)

And babble, babble babble about SHIT generally.

OH GOD. I think I need to vomit.
Excuse me.

kyknoord said...

You say "one-dimensional" and "knobhead" like they're bad things. By the way, I love my tree house.

Revolving Credit said...

Peas, keep repeating to yourself:

'I am a blog princess, I am a blog princess,
I am a blog princess,I am a blog princess,
I am a blog princess,I am a blog princess...'

Breathe, do you feel better yet ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - I love my treehouse too big guy. Don't know why blogs on treehouses quite got a mention though.
So random. Fuck.

Rev - I am a blog princess that sounds like a knobhead. I'm just preparing you all before you think this interview is going to be good.

Help. Not coping.
Suave where are you?? I need help here.

3rm said...

just for the record, lionel richie is funny when you're talking about him on the internet. when you actually have to listen to his god-awful music its a form of torture i'm sure they've used at gitmo

Peas on Toast said...

3RM - you didn't seem to notice once you started beating me at Tetris. ;)

Revolving Credit said...

OK Peas, keep repeating to yourself:

'I am a blog knobhead, I am a blog knobhead,
I am a blog knobhead,I am a blog knobhead,
I am a blog knobhead,I am a blog knobhead...'

Breathe, do you feel better yet ;)

3rm said...

thats because i had tetris to take my mind off of it. its the same as having a copy of the qur'an to distract you from the blood curdling sound of his pseudo melodies

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - I'm breathing in short shallow breaths. Paper bag please!

3RM - You are SUCH a drama queen.

Revolving Credit said...

3rd Moon Rock - 'its a form of torture i'm sure they've used at gitmo '

Are you trying to say that Lionel Richie is actually just a CIA conspiracy???

Revolving Credit said...

Peas - ' I'm breathing in short shallow breaths'

Are you diddling with yourself while blogging?? You seem quite good at one handed typing or did you manage to find an iBOD??

Peas on Toast said...

God if only Rev.

Although that's not a bad idea....

Champagne Heathen said...

Where does a paper bag come into playing with oneself though?? Is that what I am doing wrong? (Did I just ask that out loud!?)

Peas on Toast said...

I'm having hyperventilation issues from nerves Champs. :) No dirty behaviour, sorry to say. :(

3RM - You're once...twice...three times...a lady...

Revolving Credit said...

Champs, if you're into the whole suffocation thing, put the bag over your head.

Champagne Heathen said...

My nerves would also be on edge should someone hand me a paper bag while I was IBOD'ing! I would be completely distracted by what they were trying to say with such a gesture.

OH!!!! He sings THAT song!!!

An hour and a half and counting... tick tock tick tock

Champagne Heathen said...

Rev - That is far too much effort for a monorgasm!! Why do people always have to make things so complicated!?!? Just keep it simple & classic, I say.

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - yip, one of his true classics. :)

Tick tock. That's the sound of the bomb in my head that's about to explode. Which may not be a bad thing.

Suavé said...

Fuck Peas, you're killing me over here!!! It's all coming back to me too. Holy crap, I think you're making me nervous as fuck lady! I was all calm and collected and shit and now you making me nervous. Oh shit, I remember she asked me about you and I said some proper dumb shit! Please dont hold it against me whatever it was, cause I still think you're uber cool. OH SHIT!!!!!

Seriously though, take a deep breath with me. Come on BREATH IN.....




....AND OUT!!!! Pheeeeeew! Feeling better?

Peas on Toast said...

I'm sorry Suavie - my A-Type personality has this horrible domino effect....fuck.

OK. Guaranteed my dear, I sound more of a knobhead than you do.

I'm dashing home at 12:30 to catch this thing, there's no way I can hear it at my office, and I can tape it there as well.
It's going to be epic. Will be back here soon thereafter, depending on how embarrassed I am.

Cool, calm thoughts....

3rm said...

rev - i don't think the cia are clever enough to create a something as sinister as lionel richie. i think it was just a bonus that fell into their laps

peas - keep it up young lady. you're about to be blazing on your lonesome for a longtime :)

Daedalus said...

Ertjie,
You seem to be a bit of an 80s child when it comes to music hey... Micky Bolton ... now Lionel?

Revolving Credit said...

Peas rush home earlier so you can listen to some Lionel, before the broadcast, to calm your nerves.

It should work, cause if what 3rd RM says is true, the CIA use it to put Gitmo prisoners in a near catatonic state.

Peas on Toast said...

3RM - OK, OK...we can listen to Cypress Hill next time, drama queen. :)

D-Guy - There is no other decade like it. I'm an 80s kid through and through. ;)

Rev - I will karaoke to Lionel beforehand...that should sort me out.

Daedalus said...

Ertjie,
Should check out out database one day ... I think we have like every single 80s hit .. it is about 6 DVD's worth of MP3 format collection ... My brother is mos in the radio scene - (so all legal too) ;)

Daedalus said...

* make the 2nd *out* and *our* and it might make sense LOL!
- Typo King

Peas on Toast said...

D-guy - I'd LOVE to see your database. I have that 8 CD box Greatest Hits of the 80s, plus all the other Kings of the 80s like Lionel, Mike B, A-Ha, Tears For Fears..the list goes on. Magic I tell you!

Revolving Credit said...

Peas, go home!

Daedalus said...

Are you a Depeche Mode fan Peas?

Hehehe... Revo...

other-duke said...

i just heard you on the radio. Woo Hoo. Sauve's on now

Anonymous said...

Hey Peas
Just listened to your interview on streaming audio. Very cool. You didn't sound at all poen like.

Revolving Credit said...

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

'Blogging does not take much time out of my day at all'

Anonymous said...

Hello Peas,
Florence here. You sounded good on air. Well done to you and Suave. you still have your anon persona- couldn't tell who you were from your voice alone!

Billy said...

You sounded brilliant!
Well done!

Champagne Heathen said...

He he he!! Ja, Suave, I REALLY hope your boss didn't listen to the broadcast, otherwise you are so having your internet cut!

Well done Peas & Sauve!!! Complete calm & composure. It was too short though! Next we'll get you on a tv interview for at least 15 minutes. You can wear masks to keep the anonymity (man, I hate that word & its spelling!)

Suavé said...

Well done sweet Peas! Very noice one, but I'm still shaking, I think I need another smoke!

Suavé said...

HAHA Champs!! I walked in the office and some lady in accounts gave me sly look. I sure hope it's cause the number crunching is getting to her. HAHA!

other-duke said...

Peas, you came across very well. i'm impressed. Well Done.

Suave, you mean a fourth? ;)

Daedalus said...

I truely hope someone recorded that .. we have no radio here!

Peas on Toast said...

Oh my shattered vagina.

Thanks guys for syaing I sounded ok! Phew, it's finally over...God I sounded sooooooo serious.
And Rev - liar liar, you're right! ;)

Well done Suavie! You sounded hottttt my boy! Nice radio voice there - I loved the 'So when do you blog?'

"yeah...I kinda..blog during work." ;)

Hectic. And so funny. They left out the treehouse comment, phew. :)

Revolving Credit said...

Daed, didn't you listen to the audio stream?

Nosjunkie said...

This is my first time posting on this blog and I and while I enjoyed the post I was even more amazed that people stil listen to lionel.
I am taking the room mates side

PS: may I not be eternally damned from the sight for this

Peas on Toast said...

Nosjunkie - I don't think you're alone china. :)

I think I'm his one and only fan :(

Jam said...

Ditto.
No radio here either.

Revolving Credit said...

Nose Junkie? as in coke sniffer??

Welcome White Nose.

SwissTwist said...

oohhhh I got me lionel's latest CD, just love the new songs.. highly recommend it. Somehow he just works for certain moods...

Revolving Credit said...

Peas, you did not sounds poen at all.
If journalism ever gets too boring, you should seriously consider a job in phone sex!!

SwissTwist said...

oh dear.. I feel I should mention that uhm.. well.. I'm not exactly a fan as such..er.. just liked the new song and got the CD, you know.

Looking forward to seeing Pink live in concert next week! (silently hoping this saves my dying rep)

Suavé said...

Yeah that question caught me off guard a bit but I couldn't lie. But great stuff Peas. You were great!

And yes you're right. Drinks please!!! Make that a double!

Peas on Toast said...

Swiss - Yay! another closet fan! :)
You're safe here Swiss. ;)

Rev - bless your cotton donndies! That's the nicest thing anyone has said about my voice, like, ever! :)

Suavie - In about four hours, I'm going to be absolutely hammered. You coming with me? ;)

Revolving Credit said...

Peazel - when you say 'in about four hours, I'm going to be absolutely hammered'

Are are talking about drinking, right???

Suavé said...

I'm in there like swimwear babe! What's on your cards? Possibly a combo of tequila's and Jagerbombs maybe. The Jager's in your honor of course since you introduced me to them!

Suavé said...

Phone sex eh Rev? Lets hope that your hands weren't in your pants during those ten minutes Peas was on air. HAHAHA!!!

Daedalus said...

Suave, I'll buy U a beer if you are near Paddy's Randburg later today ;)

PS: Congrats on the interviews guys!, now we just need to get the two of you on real blogging engines like WordPress :P

Revolving Credit said...

No Suavy, its easier if you just take your pants off ;)

kyknoord said...

You sounded fantastic, sugarplum. The next time I need a stand-in at the studio, I'm gonna give you a call.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - drunk, but soon thereafter I'm hoping hammered in the true sense of the word. ;)

Suavie - Let's do it! I love Rohypnol on a Friday! :)

Rev - did you take your pants off big boy? ;)

Kyk - wow! Thank you and coming from a studio king, I am truly flattered! :)
Now just to hear your voice m'dear!

Revolving Credit said...

You phone-sex talkradio charmed me right of my trousers.

Peas on Toast said...

And I didn't even talk dirty Revvie...and those pants came off! *flattered flush*

Revolving Credit said...

Why the stunned silence?

You still staring at my pantless ass???

Peas on Toast said...

You're looking toight Rev...have you been working out?? ;)

Revolving Credit said...

Been clunching empty coke cans with my ass.

Peas on Toast said...

Dude you're turning me on.

Crsuhing coke cans with one's ass makes me HOTTTT.

Revolving Credit said...

Peas, go check Ostendo, I think that Daed's just can out the closet ( I think??)

Peas on Toast said...

Hoo boy! If that's the case, 1 x Lionel Richie CD coming his way. :)