Friday, December 08, 2006

Tagged twice

The feverish aspect of blog tagging has risen to a high pitch as holiday season fast approaches, and bloggers tire endlessly of pretending to do anything vaguely constructive. Tis the season afterall.

Pete tagged me: seven tunes that I’m rocking to at the moment. Bearing in mind my strange musical persuasions:

1) Lullaby - The Cure (Spiderman is having me for dinner tonight)
2) Say You, Say Me - Lionel Richie
3) Three Times a Bitch Lady - Lionel Richie
4) Dancin' On The Ceiling - Lionel Richie
5) Hello - Lionel Richie
6) Endless Love - Lionel Richie
7) Pimping All Over the World – Ludacris (Old but classic)

Champers tagged me: five things I’ve done/do that the opposite sex doesn’t know about:

I thought of a whole lot of stuff concerning my grooming habits, as well as my favourite sexual position and why I think missionary gets a bad rap, then thought, 'fuck it. I'll talk about snakes and shit.'

I am terrified of herpiecreatures. I therefore took it upon myself to find out everything about them. Know thy enemy they say. The three snakes to look out for in South Africa are:
The Puffadder: Can strike a balloon three times before it pops. Is the only snake that won’t move out of your path. It pumps so much venom into you on multiple striking, but chances are you won’t die. It’s a cytotoxic venom, which means it’s purely localised. You’ll probably lose the limb (hand/foot/finger) from gangrene. There is still no anti-venom available, so according to the University of the Witwatersrand Toxicology Unit, this is the snake you do not want to be bitten by (if there was a choice involved.)

The Boomslang: Fairly docile and shy, and to its detriment, back-fanged. It strikes from the side, often only delivering poison on the second bite. However, it takes a pinprick of poison to kill you. Its venom is haemotoxic – so your death is a nasty one. You haemmorhage uncontrollably from orifices in your face (ears/gums/nose), and internally. Large bruises will start to form under your skin. Without anti-venom, you’re toast in 20 minutes.

The Black Mamba This snake is the most feared amongst farmers and superstitious black tribes. Firstly it’s very aggressive and can grow up to 12 metres long. It can rise half it’s body upright and has known to bite men in the face. Cocky fuckers. They attack and corner people when they feel threatened, and have reportedly followed chosen victims at lightning speed. It’s neurotoxic venom shuts down your nervous system, and you die of asphyxiation. Your diaphragm stops working. You suffocate basically. Other neurotoxic snakes are cobras.

Yeah. Don't fuck with 'em.


Champagne Heathen said...

Hey? What? NO!!!! Naa Aaaaah chickie. Be tagged properly! And it is just any random thing that people don't about you, like Daytripper gardening to find peace, fly* cutting his own hair...while in the shower brushing his teeth..or something, Jam being madly in love (yeah, she cheated too!). Oh, and Daeds being gay, to land chicks' breasts in his hands.

MEanwhile, I am taking my chances on Snake #1..."Can strike a balloon three times before it pops". My skin is tougher than any damn balloon!!

Peas on Toast said...

Ha ha ha ha!
OK, five quick things:

1) I drive like a chick on steroids.
2) Sometimes I don't put my handbreak down, not on purpose.
3) Missionary is especially nice if you put one leg between the person on tops legs and squeeze.
4) I have a mole between my boobs (Hannah and Elizabeth). Her name is Sally.
5) I cried last night. But I'm OK now.


Champagne Heathen said...

MUCH better! Thanks!
You forget your handbreak is up???....ah, the joys of being a chick ;) I do it once in awhile too.

Stop rubbing in the fact you're getting shagged!! [no pun intended with the word 'rubbing' ;) ]

And a muchos grandos hug for the cry!

And Muchos Smoochos cause, HEY BABY, IT'S THE W.END!! With one week left!!

The Tart said...

Snake & tears ... sounds like Men stuff to moi, sigh.

Regards to Sally from my Beth ... location only known to a very lucky few, natch!

Holiday smooches,
The Tart
; *

Inyoka said...


Us snakes are much maligned by peach brandy fired myths spread around by Doorsveld bullshitters like Oom Schalk Lourens. In truth, we are shy and do our best to avoid homo sapiens. We only get aggressive when people mess with us and start poking us with sticks.

Black Mamba (Dendroaspis polylepis) - dangerous as you say, but 12 feet rather than 12 metres.

The oke bitten on the face was probably squatting. Or vertically challenged. A dwarf bushman, perhaps? Else, bitten by a Green Mamba (Dendrospis angusticeps) which is arboreal (lives in trees)but this as also unlikely as even mambas are much more likely to flee when humans are about. Stories about mambas pursuing people and running as fast as a galloping horse are (no pun intended) horseshit.

Boomslang bite - hours rather than minutes to kill and not many bites/deaths recorded. Most deaths have been of people who handle them, like American herpetologist Karl Schmidt in 1957.

Revolving Credit said...

Peas, why you so scared of snakes.

I know you a fact that you have recently survived multiple strikes from the Trouser 'Spitting' Snake.

Insane Insomnac said...

I totally get the snake phobia. its got to do with them slithering. slithering is not natural by any account. This is where i prefer the concrete jungle.

Daedalus said...

Missionary is S.O.P
"Scissors" Rocks!!

Daedalus said...

Oi ... Shampoo...!!
I saw that... :|

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - he he he thanks doll. ;)

The Tart - you may be right on the snakes and tears stuff. ;)

Inyoka - now with a name like yours big uy, how can I possibly bring forth a counter-argument without looking like a tosser? ;)
The info I got however was from R. Isemonger's 'Snakes of Africa' where he describes the snake-biting-a-full-grown-man's-face. Anyway, some interesting stuff there - love the Latin names. :)

Rev - because they spit. ;)

Insane - the slithering cold blooded thing also really freaks me out.

D-Guy - yeah...but it is also severely underrated. :)

Lisa said...

I also have a gril-inducing fear of snakes.. have all my life. can deal with bugs and gogga's, even spiders.

but snakes? aii-yaii-yaii.

and in other news, be prepared for Miss Lisa to join the blogosphere rilly rilly soon. Hav registered and stuffs. Awaiting design completion...

William Doors said...

Hey, you've shown me yours, can I show you mine? !!!!

Peas on Toast said...

Lisa - excellent news! Send me your link when y'all set up!

William - nice one Will, I checked it out. Sorry about the cell phone. :(

cinnamon gurl said...

Ok, I so didn't need to know about the snakes, since we'll be visiting SA in a month.

It's been a while since I visited, but what's up with all the Lionel Richie? I can get into most retro stuff, even some Rod Stewart, but Lionel Richie???

Peas on Toast said...

cinnamon - Me and Lionel are tight. I have no idea why, I really believe I'm the only girl in my generation that thinks he's wonderful, so I wouldn't worry :)