What is it about Cape Town?
It happened again last night on returning back from Knysna. Cruising down Sir Lowry's Pass, past the Somerset Mall. One minute we're on the highway, the next we're navigating our way through Khayelitsha. At the flick of a switch.
At 9:00pm. Shacks and windswept roads, in the Pajero.
Before I left for Knysna, I drove home after a boozy dinner at my uncle's place on the peninsula - and suddenly - again - I'm in fudging Ottery.
A friend of mine who studied with me here once said: If God ever took a crap, it landed in Ottery.
He was right you know.
I have this aversion to the Cape Flats. I get lost in this town so much and for no logical reason at all. Smoking Legs, being the driver, has now also found an aversion for shackville it seems.
As a student, I was a regular in Grassy Park, Philippi and the bottom end of Wetton Road. Not because I wanted to, it just happened.
I'm now at my father's place in Fish Hoek. One wonders whether I'll be in Ocean View by the end of the afternoon.
Three more days of holiday, so much Cape Flats to see. I wonder if pops is keen?
Tomorrow he takes me and Smoking Legs for a flip in his plane, and Smoking Legs is duly shitting himself if not for the lawnmower engine, but for the conversation he will have toi make in the aircraft with my father.
I can just imagine:
Dad: So...Dick. What kind of a name is that?
Smoking Legs: Um, yeah... [shifts uncomfortably in seat]
Dad: You shtoinking my daughter?
Smoking Legs: No. Definitely not.
Dad: Good. You sure?
Smoking Legs: Oh quite positive.
Dad: [veers plane towards mountain]Because if you are...
Smoking Legs: I'm not! [rocky outcrop looms closer]
Dad:[narrowly misses cliff] Good. Keep your wanger in your pants, boy.
Smoking Legs: Trust me Mr Toast, I really really will. [whispers under breath] I'm gonna kill Peas...
It's going to be an interesting couple of days here.