Thursday, February 01, 2007

fruit salad and custard

I am floored by disappointment and fatigue.

I was hoping the fruit salad I ate for breakfast would sort it out, alongside my late bath and wank last night, but it didn't.

I mean, I shaved, dehaired, creamed my legs with shiny lotion, put a face mask on, washed my hair - twice - exfoliated my shoulders, primrose-gelled my entire body, but no. For added effect, and to lighten my mood, I wore The Ant's large, blingola, enormously shiny ring to work. [Sorry dude, I'll give it back once the day is over], but even when I stare at it, it doesn't effect my synapses like shiny things usually do.

Oh well.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

Peas,
The titles of your posts normally match the content.
All I can say is: if the by-product of your wank looks like custard, you should give your gynae a call!

Love your blog
Mandy

Peas on Toast said...

Mandy - thanks doll.
Luckily there was no by product that I could see. :) Hilarious.

duke said...

i always find that a bit of exercise can help - releases some endorphins, helps you sleep well, etc. So if you're not up to the gym or a run, a brisk walk around the park or something?

Elle said...

Shame peas... Well if it makes you feel any better I get you. I myself have been feeling a bit off. I haven't slept for a few days, not for lack of trying, so hang in there and it will all be sorted. :)

Hot Pink said...

Honey, I'm beginning to think that the by-product of the wank is not nearly enough oestrigen...and that (seriously no offence here, you know how both Jam and I feel about meds, right), the next thing to try is a visit to the doc and a little something that starts with P and ends with Zac. Or maybe I am wrong? I don't know. Is it a spiritual crises? Or a physical one? Or is it chemical? Therapy + meds is my answer...

PS> Sorry if i am waaaay off track here - having a heavy duty morning myself, and relying on those answers to help me out.

Peas on Toast said...

Duke - you would be right. I was keen to walk yesterday around a park, funnily enough, but it started raining, so the pleasure factor of this fell below floor level. So to speak.

Elle - thanks babe. I figure maybe in three weeks, I'll be fine. :) (But let's hope I'll feel better this afternoon.)

Hot Pink - ha ha, thanks babe. It's not so much depression due to lack of pinpointage. I know exactly what is affecting me right now luckily, so hopefully this will subside soon. (It's not the same as the patch blues, if that makes sense.)
You're a star. And if it doesn't help, to therapy I go! :)

storm said...

starting to worry here, and i don't even know you! even your blogging reflects your lack of lust for life, as your entry is short and not full of your usual quirks. Maybe, and goodness knows i hate them, but just maybe a visit to the doc might be a good idea?

Peas on Toast said...

Hey Storm, you're definitely right there. Looking back over the last couple of posts, it really looks like I'm ina bit of a fix doesn't it?

I know what I'm going to do. Start a pottery class. Nothing like working soft, squidgy clay into a work of art right? And we can do with a couple of vases and shit around our house. You know, to stick plastic flowers into.

Champagne Heathen said...

Peas! Get off my wavelength already!! Honestly. We need ONE of us at least to happy at a time.

Bug hugs!!!!

I'll mail.

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Champs. Misery loves company, yet I don't want to be That Guy - the one who brings everyone down with her.
So I'm sorry. :(

Urk said...

i TOLD you to STOP listening to Punjabi MC, dammit ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Urk - "Hello my name is Peas [Hiiii Peas], and I'm a Punjabi MC addict."

Cue pitiful stare.

"We can't help you here, sorry."

Well I tried. :)

Champagne Heathen said...

Oh, DO NOT WORRY about being that guy for me! I was down there already, and seemed to have bumped into you. Maybe, if you climb on my shoulders you can climb up, and then pull me up. Or we just practice our jumping techniques!!

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - pole vaulting? Keen? I heard it's big in Eastern Bloc countries. :)

Champagne Heathen said...

OOoo, and then I can stop worrying about such silly daily stresses like shaving & whether I have a moustache or not! And maybe steroids also contain happy meds too, and then we will be even more on the right track!It is def. a plan!

Revolving Credit said...

Why you feeling disappointed???

On the plus side - pottery classes!
You can make all your girlfriends clay penises for their birthdays.

New pottery line - 'Penis by Peas'

storm said...

pottery???you gotta be kidding me??? i know this great plastic flower shop though if you want directions...say, my toothache finally took a hike and i got some happypills left...you want them?

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - genius. Have you seen Clockwork Orange? The film with ginat penises everywhere? I'll make penises for everyone's birthday. I'm sure I can pretty them with different colours and patterns too. This pottery idea excites me more by the minute! :)

Storm - nope, not even. Kidding, I mean. Can you cyber send me the happy pills? ;)

Lollipop said...

I feel your lack of excitement Peas. I usually hope the feeling blows over because I'm usually not bothered to analyse the reasons for such feelings

What does help if finding the perfect song to match my mood, sing it through, and then move onto a more inspiring song.

'Duality' by Slipknot is a good start or 'It's my life' by No Doubt

Apfelshtroodil said...

Insomnia should be viewed as an opportunity. Rack up the Godfather I, II and III, popcorn, margheritas and ...

Peas on Toast said...

Lollipop - I usually do the song thing too - problem is most of my stuff is Toaster-in-the-bath music. So I instead opt for classical. Tchaikovsky is king.

Apfel - after finding my heat magazing in the refrigerator last night - no seriously - I settled down for a night of 'Celebs Worst Dressed' and Cmaeron Diaz's and Justin Trousersnakes break up...sigh.

Revolving Credit said...

OK, we'll brand your pottery - 'Cockwork Orange'

So back to my initial question, why u feeling disappointed?

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - nice one. I know why I am dispapointed and sad, but I cannot elaborate. At least not now. Sorry guy. :(

Revolving Credit said...

Well is there anything I can do to help, in a non-elaboratorial kinda way?

(Me thinks I just made up a new word??)

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - you sweetie. Can you sing me an alabatorial lullaby? Or a hardcore rock version of the Carpenters 'Mr Postman?'
:)

storm said...

sorry peas, cybersending of happypills failed:-( our internet's fulla shit today, keeps gonking out..ugh!! hope you feel better soon!!

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Storm. :)

Revolving Credit said...

I can do a porno version of the 'Postman Pat' theme song!

Peas on Toast said...

The stage is yours.

Revolving Credit said...

I meant I can give you porno lyrics to the song.
You make it sound like I'm going to have to stage a theatrical production where I stick my knob in someones postbox..in the name of performance art.

Peas on Toast said...

Awesome, imagery as well! :)

Revolving Credit said...

In the interest on safe post, I'll first have to stick it in an over-night courier bag.

Jam said...

*hug*

It is the question said...

Hey Peas!

This will cheer you up.

Saw it and thought of you:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/boingboing/iBag/~3/80465024/shoe_rolodex.html

IITQ

3rdthought said...

Good grief, i come over to your pink palace for laughs and find it pale! No pressure :) Sterkte.