So when a lot of stuff is happening in my life that warrants a certain amount of stress and anxiety, like a break-up say, and starting a business, say - I don't eat.
My body needs all the food it can possibly deal with right now, and despite smashing some of C's chicken farm pie in my face yesterday over a glass of wine and a little cry, I haven't eaten anything of substance for about two weeks. There were those lamb chops, sure, and that paw paw over the weekend, oh and mozzarella balls at the jeek dinner.
But these meals are few and far between.
When my stomach is churning with anxiety, my hunger function just turns itself off. I'm like a car that doesn't need petrol - I seem to run on adrenaline alone.
It worries me, and quite frankly losing one's appetite is very inconvenient.
For one, you lose weight. I don't want to lose anymore weight right now - the skinny jeans fit. When they start hanging off me, they're going to look ridiculous.
And two, I have shoulder bones now. It's gross.
I know I have to force myself to eat. It's really really really hard when I'm completely turned off food because there's so much going on in my head right now that's stressing me out.
So. Today I will make a concerted effort to go out and eat something huge and that's loaded with cheese and dripping in oil. Goal for today.