Tuesday, March 27, 2007

sorry, what's wrong again? Cos I feel fine

Oh dear. Oh dearie dearie dearie dearie dearie dearie me. Oh God. Oh Lordy. Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man.

Alcohol.

Oh fuck shit fuck shit fuck.
Luckily, quite enjoyable. Bit a leeettle indulgent maybe.

And I thought Poen was just being bossy when she started making me drink Cokes on Friday night.

Blotto + lightweight = Trouble. Trust me. Woah, woah woah, what was I drinking? And it wasn’t even purposely to go out and get completely smashed – only a little bit. I actually wanted to exercise some sort of control.

I think it all first started when C and I joined a whole lot of Rhodes boys on Friday night for a couple of toots.
For me, this was just the sort of hilarious, unpretentious company I needed. And it was a good idea to begin with.
It was like Grahamstown in Rosebank, bru.
Then, some person’s name was Humpty but I kept on calling him Cuntie because I thought that was his name.
“Wow, that’s a really…pretty name.”

The hangover was unsurprisingly severe. Because man oh man oh man oh man oh man it’s just too fudging unbelievably unbelievable.
Sorry. But this is when I step down, politely surrender and get off the podium, and not talk about what I did this weekend in large detail, because all I know is: I survived it.

Sunday was even more hectic. Me and The Big T hit town. First he took me downtown to Fordsburg.
To a little curry place, wedged between the Oriental Plaza and Michael Naicker’s Car Stereo Consortium.
We ate bunny chow. It was classic.

Then we headed to the Rand Club. The Ront Club is steeped in chauvinist history, but this had no affect on The Big T. Next thing, we’re downing whiskys with pompous gentleman, singing karaoke in the library. Then he did two lines of coke on the [extensive] Encyclopaedia collection.
[Just kidding. About the coke. But scout’s honour on the other stuff.]
We ate Haagen Dazs in Madiba Square, and then Big T ran through the fountain, humped the Madiba Statue Leg, and drove home on two tyres.

Weekends. You gotta love ‘em.

33 comments:

Kevin Cadman said...

Peas... Haha, I feel your pain! I know EXACTLY what you mean!

And... you have my email address, I want DETAILS! SORDID DETAILS!

You little misbehaver you...

Rachel said...

Haagen Dazs?!?!!!!

You Joburgers are so lucky! When oh when will they open a store in Cape Town? Cookie Dough, Lemon Meringue, Strawberry Cheesecake! What flavour did you have?!? Seriously, it's the best stuff ever!

Peas on Toast said...

Kev - I never misbehave. No seriously, I just got lank boozed. It was like my elter ego came out and just drove the train for the rest of the evening.

Rachel - Babe, it was like an orgasm everytime I stuck the spoon in my mouth, I'm not gonna lie. I had Hazelnut Praline. It was worth every single bite.... (It's fudging expensive though eh?)

Rachel said...

Well I haven't had the pleasure of finding it in SA so I can't comment on the price. I'm sure it's worth the trade off though... and I'm very jealous!!

ChewTheCud said...

At 20 bucks a scoop Baglios is better value for money ;P

You should seriously have more booze tolerance with the amount you consume though.

Yes i am looking through previous posts and comments.

Rev - What the Hell dewd? :P

Peas on Toast said...

Chew - being in a relationship, bike training and generally not consuming that much this year has turned me into the ultimate Cheap Drunk. Give it a few weeks, and I'm sure I'll be back to the usual.

Louisa said...

Sounds rough! Glad you made it...:-)

Hot Pink Flush said...

So...lemme get this straight. Between the ront club and the Haagen Dazs....
you never made it to the snake exhibition at the Rosebank Flea market?
Because, as advertised, I am STILL having nightmares over friday's post! Just so you know...

Peas on Toast said...

Rachel - next time you're up here, pop into the most extravagant ice cream parlour in the world - Madiba Square doll. :)

Louisa - I'm alive. Miracles do happen :)

Hot Pink - You know, I even made a plan to go to the snake expo. Then logic got the better of me. :)

Pete said...

Hmm.. Did I pick up a cryptic undertone there? Peas di you get pissed and laid this weekend?

Peas on Toast said...

Pete - pissed yes, laid no.
I swear this cryptic stuff is just because I was ratfaced and well, it's all a little blurry.

Third World Ant said...

odd how Humpty doesn't mind being called Cuntie! Don't get too addicted to Haagen Dazs, they sell it in micro-sized buckets in the Killarney P 'n' P for 50 ront a pop!

Peas on Toast said...

Ant - Oh I'm pretty certain he minded being called Cuntie. But I really, really, really thought that was his little nickname. Blind one. :(

ATW said...

Good morning Peas.
You're most welcome to link up to my post.

It looks like the bouncing back has occurred already. (The end of the mushy? - Now it's RubberPeasOnToast?)

Peas on Toast said...

Hello Wit!

Thanks sweetcheeks, I most certainly will!
Let's hope I continue to bounce, eh? ;)

Daedalus said...

Elo Ertjie,
We are back to mal-ertjie mode then?

acidicice said...

Uh...excuse me for my ignorance...but what is Haagen Dazs?! Ice cream? I assume so from the Cookie Dough comment...

Peas on Toast said...

Hi D-Guy - mal was definitely what I was feeling, sure. :)

Acidicice - do yourself a seriaas favour my dear and get yourself some Haagen Dazs ice cream one of these days. It's the shiznik, it's more than ice cream: it's sex on a cone, babe.

acidicice said...

Peas...so where in Cape Town do I lay my hands on this?

Champagne Heathen said...

Brilliant! I can always use another drinking partner! ...as soon as I can drink again.

Peas on Toast said...

Acidicice - sheizen, I'm not sure. But an upmarket supermarket sould sell it by the tub.

Champs - between yours and my livers dude, things aren't looking too hot right at present!

kotters said...

Rhodes men - gotta love us. Question is, did you do any loving?

Peas on Toast said...

Kotters - Rhodes men....they're fun, but I've had my fair share of heartache going down that, um, rhode before. So I have mixed feelings. But they're always fun, that much I know.

Jam said...

I am jealous. Since I decided in empathy with a Champagne chick to try and leave the alcohol alone. All I had was three rather sad glasses of whine. And I saw the sign for the snake expo on Sunday, but just didn't have the guts to actually go and see.

Peas on Toast said...

Ah Jammie
Don't be jealous. What you did was sensible. I'm taking the high road of sobriety from now on too. It's final. :)

Revolving Credit said...

Prohep works wonders, but only if you know you're gonna get smashed, cuz you need to start taking it before you start drinking.

Worked for me on Sat night.

Checkout Manhattans on Sat nite, or more correctly got there @ 3am Sun morning.

Really fucking funny watching people trying to look really cool and with it when they're pissed out of their minds...lol

kotters said...

Peas - pity you got hurt. Any of you seen this facebook craze going on, special I tell you.

Insane Insomniac said...

I erm..worked...some...and partied..and changed the clocks forward...and erm..got fired...Haagen Daz Pralines and Cream is THE flavour!!!

acidicice said...

Kotters - I got an e-mail from a friend asking me to sign up to facebook. I just couldn't be bothered, honestly.

Jam said...

Peasie - think it also had something to do with the fact that I have been so earth shatteringly exhausted after too many weeks of partying. Rev's right though - Prohep works wonders...even the morning after...

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - ah, the man witnessed what was my entire LIFE last year! :) Classy eh? I have been to the manwhore once this year, and I aim to keep it that way. For now. :)

Kotters - yeah. It was a bitch.

Insane - you got FIRED? Dollface, seriously? Are you alright, what the hell happened? (Praline and cream - that's the one I had!)

Jam - next time I'm at Dischem, I'm goign to buy Prohep in cartons. I'm gonna need it methinks.

jamjar said...

good to hear humpty is alive and well, although dont think the man went to rhodes.... he is mates with some good rhodes buggers though

Peas on Toast said...

Jamjar - I really couldn't say...he was there, and um, the poor oke thinks I think his name is Cuntie. :(