Friday, April 13, 2007

apples and stuff

Apples. Always keep apples in your bag when you go clubbing.
Honestly, there's been countless times I've been standing in the middle of a fucking discotheque and I can fumble around in my bag, and chomp on a Golden Delicious.

Firstly, it gives you a chance to sit back and eat. Chow. It's a break between cigarettes/Jeagers/snogs, and quite frankly an apple is a cool thing to chew on in a club.

Like last night. I ate two. It was my intention to chow them right there on the dancefloor between Put Your Hands Up For Detroit and Alison Moyet's trite take on Is This Love?, but we just had a nice little girlie night around a table where we discussed dick size, etc.


What's happened in my personal life over two weeks:
Firstly, C went and asked someone if they'll go to a wedding with me. (I have one, and had a partner to take, and then, well, we broke up, so now I'm dateless.)
But, not actually, because I have invited someone. He'd be a great date, and I don't know him helluva well. But C went and asked someone for me in front of me. Hilarious and a little blind, but mostly hilarious.

I am not a food and beverage journalist anymore. I am now a part-time sex journalist. I broke the news to my parents last night. Well my mum. Still can't tell Dad, and would prefer he stays out of this. But mum also told my staunchly-Catholic French Grandmere. She's not handling so well. My grandfather has also been left out of the loop, mainly cos he's deaf.

My co-partner, Crusoe, has set me up with someone, that little bugger. He insists its not a set-up, but pah-lease. We're all doing dinner next week Wednesday. And get this: his name is, oh lordy, oh lordy lordy....Chad. Like my rat. Like my pet vermin. And he's already told Human Chad that I have a Pet Chad. It's all pretty funny, and that said, Crusoe has been a fantastic co-worker and friend to me during this time. He's the oldest soul I've met – a wise fellow, really. And his ideas have been phenomenal for our (kick-ass) new company.
On our company, we're close to launch time – we're just clearing up a few things first to ensure it's the best possible product we can possibly launch ever. It's going well.

I did however spend the latter of the last four hours of this morning being really sick, bucket next to my bed stuff. Which is annoying since it's Friday.

PS: I have been quoted in the Mail & Guardian today, in Lloyd Gedye's article on blogging on page 20. Bless!

28 comments:

Revolving Credit said...

"last four hours of this morning being really sick"
Well know Snow White, sounds like someone slipped you a poison apple, or at least apple sourz!

Peas on Toast said...

Hi Rev!
I think I ate too many apples. I had two drinks last night, so it's all a bit perplexing.

Billy said...

Must have been a big night if you are blowing chunks!

Billy said...

Scrap the last comment, didnt see your response to Rev, there's a nasty bug doing the rounds at the moment. Half my staff have had it in the last 2 weeks.

ChewTheCud said...

An apple a day eh? they obviously bad for you. You need to balance that out with a jagermeister ;)

johnnyquarterback said...

yes there is definitely a bug going round. I had it over the easter weekend. not fun at all. either that or you're pregnant..

Peas on Toast said...

Billy - lol. I sure hope it's not a bug, but I feel nasty :(

Chew - Thta's the rub. A Jaeger would've sorted me out! :)

Peas on Toast said...

JohnnyQ - OK, well I'm definitely not pregnant. 1000% sure of that. God I hope it's not a bug...

Sharny said...

I'll be your date

Billy said...

The best way to get rid of a bug is to get hammered. It shocks the body and flushes all the germs out. These kinds of opinions are from personal experience and as much as i think i know i must fess up to not being a doctor.

Peas on Toast said...

Sharny - thank you! :)

Billy - ...well it is Friday... :)

Billy said...

Agreed. Give it horns.

Revolving Credit said...

What exactly does a sex journalist do??

Is that a fancy way of saying that you write porn??

Does that make Crusoe your literary pimp??

boldly benny said...

What a fantastic idea, I always get hungry when I go out. Hmm, I only have naartjies at home... will have to get apples for Saturday night.
A part-time sex journalist - fantastic, what's your byline? I think my parents would go into comas since they're Catholic if I took up this profession. I once joked that I was whoring myself because I was freelancing for a PR firm and writing their press releases. My father went pale and I had to explain it was a figure of speech - well to me anyway!

ChewTheCud said...

Rev - she's gonna spend one night with each blogger and write a review on technique etc. I just heard she got a ticket to Cape Town. If you hurry you've still got time to get that full body wax buddy ;)

Betenoir said...

Babe...at the risk of sounding... naive... what exactly does a sex journalist do?

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - it's part time work, so Crusoe isn't my literary pimp. ;) Porn would be fun, but it's a lot less graphic. It'll be a column.

Boldly - lol! Oh I hear you, ye of a Catholic family! :)

Chew - lol. And anal bleach, if he's into serious grooming. :)

Betenoir - well, I will be writing a column on sex and dating really. A lot like Sex & The City. Cool eh? ;)

Third World Ant said...

Date with a Chad? That's a good omen, silly. When I had my first date with the Gilb, we discovered that my car's name (Max) and my left boob's name (Fred) are 2 of his best friends' names. He thought this was a good omen, and it seems he was right. Good luck, got the date set yet?

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks dude, it's not official no. Crusoe's trying to organise.
We'll see. ;)

HooX said...

Right Peas, Im sorry. I really just can't get my head wrapped around this idea of an apple in my handbag on a dancefloor. Shit I don't have a handbag, can I borrow one of yours? I think people will look at me funny if I kept an apple in my pocket! "Gees Dude, thats one BIG umm nut you have!"

Hope you feel better. Happy Friday 13th....

Oh and TW Ant... LMFAO!! LoL!! You have a boob named Fred?? Fred?? I learnt something new today. Girls name their boobs? Brilliant. Why has it been kept such a closely guarded secret... from me? :-(

I are wearing the jean pant said...

Hey peas...Sex Journalist yeah? Friendly warning: (Dont know if this happened to you while doing the food:) Dont get bored with what you write about!!!

Oh, god... The horror.

Peas on Toast said...

Hoox - the ladies may just want to check out your apple chine, I say do it! :)

Howzit jean pant!
Bored of sex? When I aint getting any (from anybody else except myself?) Never! :)

I are wearing the jean pant said...

Not too bad yourself?

Ah yes, JeanPant are now, too, officially in the No-Underpant zone. Comfort yourself Peas, with knowing that at least with SelfSex, there is no premature Ejac!!!

Good to know you're not the type to bore (and be bored) in bed. And off course, there are a hundred ways in which to eat a cheese sandwhich:)

I are wearing the jean pant said...

Excuse the spelling. I blame it on lack of orgasm.

zuzula said...

sex journalism - sounds like a dream job to me! let me know if you ever need a guest columnist ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Jean Pant - in fact, a grand idea! How to eat a cheese sandwich in the sack :)....that are dead sexy, love it.
Happy orgasming dear!

Zu - I'll definitely be consulting you for ideas on Brit sex babe :)

Revolving Credit said...

Did someone just cum in their jeanpant??

ChewTheCud said...

I'd just like to apologize in advance Peas.

I had trouble getting it to play. Then when it worked and I heard it I had trouble sitting upright, and trouble breathing ;)